Ever feel guilty without the kids? About This Page:

[Princess Charming]

My dh and I are trying to decide if we should go without our DS who is 11. My dh & I have our 15th wedding anniversary in Sept. We booked a trip w/free dining just in case we decided yes. We go back and forth on it. I think it would be really hard to leave our ds here and us go to WDW. I am not doubting that we would have a great time and enjoy the trip. I just don't know if it feels right, for us, to do that.

So, do you ever feel guilty going without you kids? Our ds is an only child so he wouldn't have brothers and sisters to "complain" with. He knew that we might go somewhere for our anniversary w/out him. When I mentioned that we were considering WDW, his eyes filled with tears and he said, "without me?"

Maybe a trip without him should wait.... I don't know what to do. Advice? Opinions?

[Danielle Harmon]

DH and I are doing the same thing for our 15th next August (2010). When we told the kids (they will be 12 and 9 at the time) that they were going to be staying with Grandpa and Meme for a week without us they were excited. All they asked was for us to bring them something from the parks. We explained that this was a special trip for Daddy and I and they were okay with it. They also know that they'll go again in 2012.
Will we feel guilty? Probably. Are we going to give into it? No. Our relationship is the foundation of our family. We need the time to keep it strong and healthy. Will we miss the kids? ABSOLUTELY! Will they miss us? Are you kidding...they will be with grandparents that don't get to see them often...they won't even know we are gone!

Seriously, while it will be a difficult choice. You have to choose what works best for your family, but I feel kids need to understand that adults need time together without the kids to keep the relationship strong. Help him understand that you guys love him very much and that you love each other very much. Too often we parents neglect our personal relationship with our spouses to give everything to the kids...the best thing we can give them is an example healthy strong relationship, so they can emulate that later. (or in the case of single parents, a healthy strong adult who knows how to balance their life)

Go for it! You deserve it cuz 15 years is a long time in marriage standards now!

[Princess Charming]

Thanks. All things that are good for me to hear. And, he is a smart kid and I know he'll be fine if we go.

I wish he could go away to have his own fun but in September he'll be in school and even though it will probably be grandparents staying with him, life won't be as fun-filled if he was on his own little mini-vacation.

Thanks, again. I'm being silly, I know. I'm surprised how hard it is to make this decision.

[tkm1005]

It is hard. We are leaving our 3 & 6 year old w my parents for a 4 day weekends so my DH and I can go on a mini trip to WDW. I'm struggling, but yet I'm really looking forward to it. It is hard, but I think its necessary and I'm looking forward to a grownup Disney vacation. We will bring the kiddos on our next trip.

[dsteiny23]

My DH and I went for a long weekend for our 5th Anniversary. He surprised me with a trip and we left our then 2 yr old home. I cried when I left him, but we checked in every day and my DH and I thouroughly enjoyed ourselves.

We then went in 2006 with our 2 oldest 10 and 4 at the time for 5 days and left our 1 year old home...again I cried when we left him at day care that morning, but knowing my mother was going to be watching him we were fine.

Then we celebrated our 10th last fall with all 3 of them. But, this year DH and I are going for a long weekend in Sept. to run the EE 5K without them. Although we will be going back in Oct/Nov with the 2 youngest. Our oldest will be staying home for all of the trip if he plays football, or at lest half of the trip if not (he's starting HS and we didn't want to take him out, plus he's my stepson and will just stay with his mother). He's 14 and totally understands. He knows we will take him again.

I guess what this long winded post is trying to say is. Yes, you will miss him, but you and your DH absolutely deserve some time to yourselves. Especially for such a great milestone. I agree that your relationship is the foundation and should be maintained. Go...bring him back some great souveniers...and have a Magical time!!

[5SOXFNZ]

DH & I made a deal while we were planning our wedding, that we would take a trip every 5 year "anniversary" by ourselves, with no kids or friends...sort of like a 2nd, 3rd,4th honeymoon.
On our 5th we did Vegas and it was a blast and a well needed trip. The kids stayed with my Mom and were fine that Mommy & Daddy went away.
June is our 9th anniversary so I'll start to plan the 10th anniversary getaway. Disenyland is on our short list of where to go. I think the kids will be fine with it (we are taking them to the world this June) Sure, I'll probably feel guilty, and everywhere i turn will see something one of them would LOVE but we NEED this time to ourselves and as the previous poster said...our marriage is the foundation of this family...if that's not nurtured, there's no point!

[Griffin]

I wouldn't be able to do it. I feel bad just going out for a night with DW. I have thought about going away for a weekend without DS. But I just can't do it. He's my little partner in crime!

[wdwlovers]

DH and I have done WDW without kids and it was a BLAST. Did we miss our kids, yep. But we also cherished the time together, doing "adult" things.

[ChristyLeni]

We did Disney last year without the kids and it was great. I will admit, I stressed it up to the day we left. The week before I was ready to call and add the kids to the ressie. My youngest was 3 and we had never been apart......ever!! But we gave lots of hugs and kisses and off we went. DH and I had the most wonderful time. We only watched the shows that we wanted to watch, we lingered in the countries that the kids would be "bored" in. We skipped Peter Pan and Dumbo and went on ToT and RRC over and over again. No one complained about waiting in line, or they were tired or hungry. We just did our thing at our pace. At night we'd stop for a drink somewhere, which we don't normally have the luxury of doing. There are lots of fun places for adults to "hang out" in Disney that I didn't even know existed!! It was a wonderful trip and I can't wait to do it again. We'll wait a while of course. Disney is a ton of fun through the eyes of my babies, but it was a whole lot of fun with the man that I love too!

[Luv2laff]

We are going this year for a sort of 2nd honeymoon. Our kids have been 3 times already (they are 6 & 8), and we aren't telling them where we're going! We have left them for a weekend at a time before, but never to go to WDW. They are used to us having time without them (SO important), but I am not telling them where we're going until we get home! We'll miss them, but it eill be fun to do adult things. We are excited to do the Keys to the Kingdom tour, which we couldn't do with them. Go and have a blast! My kids will still be in school as well. It will distract them a little bit I think.

[Desurae]

Dh and I took several trips to DLR without our DD who is also an only child. I will admit that we did not tell her where we were going (yep, chicken). We did feel guilty at first (and random times throughout the trips) but we loved it every time!! So relaxing to start your morning side by side with a coffee and muffin, just watching the crowds roll by and enjoying the magic. You get to stop and see all the little details that the kids are just to excited to stop and see. We were able to enjoy a tour that our DD aould not have liked and eat anything we wanted!!! I very much suggest doing it! Go be in love in the land of magic!!!!!

[Mares75]

We're going for our honeymoon in August and DH2B's son is staying with his grandmother while we're gone. We don't exactly feel guilty about going without him, but we're pretty chicken about telling him. We're going to have to confess soon, he asked the other day if we knew where we were going on our honeymoon yet. I'm sure he'll be upset but we already explained about honeymoons being for adults and he's excited about staying with grandma for a week. We'll go again with everyone sometime. To be honest we're pretty excited about being able to go early and stay late at the parks, head to the resort lounge for a drink, and wandering through WS at our pace without any complaining.

[lanie875]

I'm going next month with my little sister and my 14-1/2 yo daughter. I'm leaving my boys home (ages 6 & almost 8). I feel really bad because I'm taking my daughter and leaving them home with my husband but I needed this time with my daughter before she's into highschool and then off to college. I think they'll be fine (although they don't know we're going so there's no way to tell how they'll react when they find out). And I'm hoping to go in a few years again with all of them (or just the boys and my husband if my daughter doesn't want to go) so it will even out

[BlueCinderellaEyes]

We missed our kids but enjoyed have time alone after not really having any for so long! We called in and checked on them everyday though!

[disney]

i love my 2 little angels but if i had the chance to do a trip with out them , we would do it i'm not saying your not going to miss them especially if you are going to disney but there comes a time where mommy and daddy need one trip to themselves . it is funny because even when we go out to dinner alone which only happends once or twice a year , it is like we are not use to hearing nothing but me and the wife , what i'm saing is you will miss but you do need it tooo!!!