How to Make More Magic w/ Divorced Parents?
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Lilianna · 07-15-2012, 02:03 PM

We are planning a DLR vacation for next year. It is to celebrate our son's high school graduation though we'll be taking it before he graduates as to avoid the summer crowd. My mom is in Las Vegas and all along the plan as been to fly from Canada to Vegas and drive from there. From the moment this idea hit, my mom was included. There was no doubt she was coming with us.

My dad recently expressed interest in going. I am assuming that means my step-mother will be coming along as well. (They are in Arizona, so a bit longer drive, but doable, though I'm sure they'll fly to LA.) I had NO idea they wanted to come along.

Trouble is, my mom and dad don't get along and my step-mother wants nothing to do with my mom. My dad said that if my mom decides not to go, to let him know. Now, I feel bad and want to try to include everyone. It's sorta stressing me out and making the planning of this holiday not so fun anymore.

CinderAbby · 07-15-2012, 02:59 PM

You did say the trip is for your son - what does he think? Does he want to make it work with everyone there or would he prefer just your mom? And as far as your dad is concerned, what kind of interest is it? Just a conversational interest saying he might want to go or is it a he really wants to be there, don't leave me out interest? Good luck whatever you decide.

B.M. · 07-15-2012, 06:59 PM

It's horrible your parents put you in that situation.... They should be able to get along or atleast fake it for everyones sake... I think it's kinda crummy that your dad said that.... Well, your mom has always been planning on going; so if for some reason she can't- then let your dad know like he asked.... otherwise just proceed as planned... and don't even think about feeling bad that you can't accomodate both of them on their terms... I truly hate that you've been put in this position...

Tigger71 · 07-15-2012, 08:16 PM

Can you plan another trip with your dad after graduation?

**mechurchlady** · 07-15-2012, 08:55 PM

Children come first. If the father does not want to be a grown adult and attend then he can stay home. The parents should go to the event, smile, be happy, mingle with everyone, and have a good time. When they get home they can have hissy fits and yap for days on everything negative about their mate. By the way who invited him?

My mother and I were very close. My father and I were very close. But seldom did my parents appear anywhere together with me since before I graduated from high school. I think out last outting together was a ball game about 40 years ago. They did not get along but they defended each other and when with me were a family. Alone with one of them and boy did I hear negative things but in public we were a family.

**dutchdisneyfamily** · 07-15-2012, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by B.M.

It's horrible your parents put you in that situation.... They should be able to get along or atleast fake it for everyones sake... I think it's kinda crummy that your dad said that.... Well, your mom has always been planning on going; so if for some reason she can't- then let your dad know like he asked.... otherwise just proceed as planned... and don't even think about feeling bad that you can't accomodate both of them on their terms... I truly hate that you've been put in this position...

I was thinking the same exact thing. Things were working out with your mom first, so go with that. If your mom can't go, do what your dad said and let him know. You have to go with what works.

revral · 07-15-2012, 09:17 PM

I agree with Darlene. Find out what your son wants and invite, plan and book according to his wishes. If your son wants your mom, dad and stepmom there than I would make it clear to all three grandparents that the trip is for and about their grandson and if they can't or don't want to make the effort to get along with each other, you and your son than they need to stay home.

**ilovedisney247** · 07-15-2012, 09:36 PM

I would go with what your son wants to do. If he wants to see all of them maybe you could split up the vacation and have one come for the first few days and then the other.

**DebiDebiDebi** · 07-16-2012, 08:23 AM

I agree with everyone; it is your son's trip, so ask him. Also, I agree with mechurchlady, everyone should put on their grown-up pants and act civilized when all together

Lilianna · 07-17-2012, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CinderAbby

You did say the trip is for your son - what does he think?

Good point. I haven't spoken with him yet about it. Will do and then take it from there.

It's hard to split the vacation. We will be traveling with my mom by car to and from Anaheim. Can't tell her to wait in the hotel while we go have fun with dad and step-mom.

Thanks to everyone for all your advice.

Lilianna · 08-06-2012, 01:19 PM

An update--- Talked with my dad today. Since we have to fly out of LAX we plan on returning from Vegas a day or two early. (The vacation is us flying into LAX, 4 days in Anaheim, driving to Vegas, then back to LAX to fly out. We'll be on holidays a total of 2 weeks.) So, I mentioned to him we were thinking of Universal and wanted to see if they (dad & step-mom) wanted to come along. We'll see what they decide.