WWYD? About This Page:

[minemoz1]

OK, This situation hasn't come up yet, but it may. SSIL is taking the kids this weekend (she lives about 40 minutes away). DN wants to invite a friend to sleep over the whole weekend as they have off. DN told me her friend's mom may be calling me (or her mom) to talk, etc. about the weekend. I only met her friend's mom once and it was pretty much just to say hi and introduce myself. My dilema is if she calls me and asks general questions about SSIL, do I tell her that SSIL is driving w/o a license/insurance? RIght now, I would tell her --as if anything happened-the kids would be going to the police dept with SSIL.

WWYD?? Tell or not tell.

Reading this again, I realize I wasn't very clear. DN and her friend would be staying over at SSIL. She would drive them 40 min + there and back as DN friend lives by me, plus where ever else they wanted to go.

[Ginns1]

That's a toss up. Is it possible for you or someone else to provide the transportation? What about telling SSIL that if she insists on driving you will tell DN's friends Mom the situation? What does your heart say?

[CinderAbby]

I would tell. I know if my child was involved, I would want to know beforehand so I can have time to make a decision about whether to change my mind or drive my own child wherever.

[Colexis Mom]

I would probably tell. Maybe the other Mom will step up and drive her daughter over there??

[Teresa]

I'd tell her - and I know that you'd drive there, but there is no guarantee that your SiL wouldn't drive the kids around later.

Maybe you could offer to have the girls sleep over at your place another night?

[chezp]

I would say something.

[krisk11]

If it was my kid getting into the car with your SSIL I would want to know the situation. I would tell and see if the mom still allows her dd to go with your dn.

[Lemap760]

I agree to say something. I wouldn't want my child getting in the car with someone without a license or insurance. Maybe they can arrange other travel arrangements and still spend the weekend.

[Huntermom]

I may be misunderstanding the circumstacnes, so ignore the rest if I am wrong.

If I remember, you are your niece's guardian. If so, why would you let her drive with her mother who does not have a license? Minors, no matter what age, are not the decision makers. If you let her go this time, knowing your SSIL has no licencse/insurance and could end up at the police station, what do you say if your SSIL wants to do something else irresponsible with her?

I represent children in family law matters. I would be upset and probably bring it to the court's attention, if I heard a guardian was allowing the ward to travel with the parent whose rights have been curtailed and that parent has no license. The guardian usually gets appointed because a parent cannot care for the child and in my opinion needs to be much more responsible.

Diane

[lukeandbrookesmom]

I would want to know so I would tell.

[Marybeth]

I know it sounds petty and mean, but you are the responsible parent. I would tell the other Mom.

[klositis]

TELL HER, THE "WHAT IFS" ARE JUST TOO BIG. WHAT IF THERE WERE A WRECK, WHAT IF THE OTHER CHILD WAS KILLED OR INJURED? YOU COULD LOSE EVERYTHING YOU AND DH HAVE WORKED FOR, HOUSE, CARS, MONEY AND SELF RESPECT. TELL THE WOMAN AND RETHINK SIL TAKING ANY KID ANYWHERE. PLEASE DONT READ A MEAN TONE INTO THIS, JUST A WARNING TONE.

[Grandmasam]

I would think that, as DNs guardian and the person having legal responsibility for her, you could be held responsible for anything that happened due to her mother's illegal activities, when you knew and condoned those activities. By knowingly letting her get into a car with someone who has no license and no insurance, you are condoning the activity. I would strongly recommend that you tell not only the friend's mother about the no-license-no-insurance state of affairs, but that you also tell SSIL that DN doesn't get into the car until she shows you a valid license and proof of insurance! Volunteer to do the driving if the girls want to go, but make it clear that SSIL does not have your permission to take them anywhere in her car. My understanding is that if she has been specifically told by you that she is not to take them anywhere, but she does anyway, she is guilty of kidnapping!

Good luck! My saying that you should take the hard line is a LOT easier than your doing it! I know there has been a lot of history here, and I wish you the best of luck.

[minemoz1]

Thanks for all your responses. The situation never came up.

We only had temp guardianship for 60 days (long story). It is now expired and in order to renew the temp guardianship we would need SSIL agreement to sign the papers again. It's a very complicated situation. I'm not (or have been) involved in the legal aspect. It has been between DH, SSIL and the lawyer.