Anyone married to a "Disney Downer"? About This Page:

[stefffe]

Barry (DH) would leave NOW if i would let him.... so i dont have this problem. if anything...im the downer....but ONLY because i have to make sure al lthe finances are right. He understands.... but hes of the "you cant take it with you" mentality..... and one of us has to be the level head. Having said that...i would LOVe to go to disney twice a year.....i just cant stick my families neck out to do it.

But im very lucky and even more blessed that my DH is as big a disney fanatic as i am.

i hate that you are having this problem....to me it sounds like there is something he is worrying about that maybe you havent asked about.....perhaps a sweet non-defensive "honey what is on your mind?" is in order.....just a suggestion

[emtpej]

LOTs of great advice here. Maybe he does not have good memories of WDW, having HAD to go there often before. We are going this summer because we figure that our older son may become "too cool" to be with the family / little brother (bother) much longer and my DW promised to take her brother on a WDW trip and a cruise, so we are getting all done in one shot because we re-financed and got the $$$ (whew)! DW chose the dates and did the booking, I'm doing everything else! The funny thing is, she's not a real good traveler! Even if we keep going to WDW, we will probably only go (at most) every other year or so. She might fall in love with cruising (we've never been)! We are defintely doing a different trip next year (probably Cleveland, Niagara Falls, Quebec, etc.), but even if the economy tanks and we can't go on any more trips, it is something that we have done to make memories with our DSs and her brother, and 'you can't take that away from me'.
Maybe you could promise to do something else next year. Maybe he is just concerned with the $$$, I know I am! He might just want some of your attention, or wants more input into the plans (even if he says he doesn't). He may have concerns about his size and fitness level and making the time 'worthwhile' (I personally think about all that, too!) He may breathe a little easier once you get your tax refund and incentive payment -- use it to pay off the trip! He may have other issues that we don't know about and aren't certified to treat, anyway. You, however, always have the support of your fellow PassPorters and feel free to vent. My DW does get a little nuts about the time I spend on this board, but now that I made our ADRs a while back, I have slacked off a little, just to make her happy.

for you and your DH. I hope it all works out and you have a great trip!

[magic mickey]

I have a DH that loves Disney as much as I do, so I am very lucky that way. You have received some great advice and I think maybe a hard to hard talk might help things out. Good luck!

[HollyH]

Well, my DH is in the "I like it but in moderation" category. He told me the other night that he's not going back to WDW for at least another 5 years! (I am currently planning a DLR trip....he didn't say he wouldn't go to DLR ! But if he really doesn't want to go to WDW for 5 years, then DS and I will go without him.) But I had a similiar situation with my father. I really wanted my mother to get to experience WDW. I knew that Dad would hate it (hot, expensive, crowded, a lot of walking), but he wouldn't be left home alone. Who would take care of him? He's a big baby! The plan was for all of us to go, when he told my Mom that he was going but would be miserable, "And if I'm miserable, I'm going to make sure that everyone else is miserable too," Well, that was it. There was no way that I was letting him ruin my vacation, so he was uninvited. Unfortunately, that meant my Mom stayed home too, but that was because she didn't want to confront him.

It is a difficult situation. If I were you, I might have a talk with DH and see if I could get to the bottom of what his issue is. But you're right, you might just have to leave him behind and try not to let his negativity ruin your fun.

[luvdduck]

Sigh. Dh is not a Disney-hater, but he's doesn't love it either. I think his biggest thing is cost, and the fact that he just enjoys a more relaxing type of vacation. If we were made of money, it would be a non-issue. We'd go to WDW whenever we wanted, with or without dh, and then we'd go to the mountains or lake for dh. Dh also wants to take the girls on sight-seeing type vacations (Grand Canyon, NYC, DC are some he's mentioned) and I am ALL for that. But right now at ages 6 and 2 the girls are too young to appreciate those types ofplaces. So that's why WDW is the perfect place for us to vacation!!
I do have to give my dh credit though- as much as he moans and groans and rolls his eyes about our WDW trips beforehand- he always has a good time while we are there. He really enjoys seeing the girls having such a fun time. Soooo maybe your dh will be 'all bark and no bite' like mine.

Also, another poster mentioned that maybe you talk about Disney too much? That is something that has really helped me- keeping the Disney-talk to a minimum around dh. I've been surprised at his willingness to help me plan our upcoming trip- and I think maybe it's because I've stopped talking about Disney 24/7.

Sorry this post is so long- just wanted to pass along my experiences to you and give you some

[maggiemay]

I am right there with you! My husband is a total jerk when it comes to Disney. He is constantly throwing it in my face about how much money I spend there. I finally got him to go with me to see if he would change his tune, but instead, he completely ruined the trip. From the plane ride, to the hotel, to the food, to the parks, all he did was complain, and belittle EVERYTHING! I could not wait to leave!
Needless to say, he has not gone back since, and never will!
We are also getting a divorce. While I cant say Disney is the main reason, I can say that this is one thing that showed me just how different we really are.

[RogerRabbit]

My DW didn't really want to go, but knew the kids would have fun. I tried to include her in the planning, but she didn't really want any part of it, other than choosing the hotel. (In fairness to her, I always plan the vacations anyway, she just enjoys the fruits of my labor.) She also got sick of hearing me talk about it. There was a rule placed in the house of no Disney talk except for an hour a week, she would then sit and listen to me for that hour.

Now that she has been her tuned has changed. She even wished we had went before we had kids. She still isn't as caught up with it as I am, but she did love it. Matter of fact, she told me about a week or two ago that she was trying to figure out when we would be going back. I think she is gun shy on telling me when, because I'll spend up until the time we leave planning things.

Hopefully, your DH will come around. He could just be scared with taking the kids somewhere, it was one of my DW's concerns. Also, I can understand the Pooh size issue. DW was pregnant at the time, so we had to watch what she could ride because of that and if she would fit. I'm not to small myself and couldn't do the Segway's because of that. I didn't look into the Richard Petty thing though? Being racing seat belts though, I would imagine that they would fit, they are pretty big.

Good Luck,

Michael

[Ginns1]

My boyfriend suggested our trip to WDW last year. He had been before and did not have a great time. He said he honestly thought it was a bummer because his wife at the time was a shrew or so he says.

We only went because at 49 I had never been. He had a wonderful time. I have heard him rave to his friends about the planning I had done and has talked several of his friends into going.

Maybe going will change your DH's mind!

[Eeyore Tattoo]

Sorry your DH is a DD (Disney Downer)
Maybe he will see all the joy in his kids eyes & be happy..
I am very lucky to have a DH who is just as Disney crazy as me
Deb

[theJordans]

My DH loves our vacations to WDW! However he is not interested in the planning and does get cold feet about the cost - even though everything is paid for before we leave.
When you get there your DH might change his tune - he`s maybe just being a very financial responsible person, I know my DH is

[Suzie]

My poor husband, now deceased, didn't like Disney at all. Not until the last trip that he ever took there anyway. I took the boys and went alone and he ended up flying down to join us and actually had a good time for the three days he was there.
Now I can go any time I can scrape up the money, but I would rather have my husband back, even with the complaints.
Suzie

[Dawn in Scotland]

I think Suzie has the right message - if it's a good marriage different tastes in holiday's shouldn't matter too much.

I agree with other posters that it's worth checking what exactly is bothering him so much - does he feel unappreciated? I really hope it's a storm in a teacup and you all end up having a great time.

My experience is much closer to Maggiemay sadly - my soon to be ex had completely different interests in holidays - he was a fishing and sailing kind of guy - which I was fine with, and I would go along and make the best of it. Sadly I wasn't "allowed" to like different things to him, and Disney holiday's were not an option except for one short visit when he wouldn't come with me (but put me down endlessly and gave me a very very hard time when I went anyway). Once I am free I am going to have the best Disney trip of my life!

[Annabel]

I'm sorry your DH is such a downer on things. I'm one of the lucky ones that my DH loves Disney as much as I do and loves helping with the planning etc. You've had some great advice and I really hope you can find out what's wrong or that DH comes round to your way of thinking (if only a little). Sending mega

[SouthernBelle]

A big for you and tons of that the tripp will be a good one and your DH will enjoy himself.

Grumpy is as much a Disney Nut as I am, he is the one that took me there in the first place on our Honeymoon. He planned the trip and made all the arrangements and I didn't know we were going until the day before we got married.

[RobinKay6573]

Reason 2084 why I am not married.

I am sorry your husband is being such a downer. Maybe once he gets there it will be better. Obviously your KIDS like Disney...doesn't he want he children to be happy??