Another RSVP question About This Page:

[Lemap760]

Do you usually count on people to show up when they don't RSVP? I haven't heard from 5 parents from Andrew's classmates. His party is next Saturday and the gym is callling next week to confirm the number of guests. I don't usually see the parents when I do drop off / pick up and I don't have anyone's phone number.

[CelticChick]

I think it all depends on what you have booked. A lot of the mum's over here book a "hall" out for a couple of hours so the children can play, which in that case, probably wouldn't be to much of a worry if they didn't turn up, but if you are paying for the child individually, then that is different.

I have a bowling party booked for DD at the end of the month and there was only one mum I was waiting to hear from. I do get to see the other parents after school and so I asked her, luckilly she said yes (which was good as I have already paid for it).

It might be worth just having those few extra party bags to give out at the end of the party in case they did turn up, as maybe they were in the same situation as you, not seeing each other/not having phone number's.

[Teresa]

I plan on it to even out - someone who said "yes" gets sick, someone who didn't RSVP shows up.
I have on occassion taken the stance of "I'm so sorry. You didn't let me know you'd be here, and I didn't pay for you. I hope next time you can attend."
Ask Andrew if anyone told him "yes". I found that sometimes the parents think telling their child to tell my child "yes" is enough.

Barring that - can you ask the teacher to distribute a note to those parents who haven't responded? Something like "I'm giving the gym a final count on Wednesday, and haven't heard from you. I'll count your child as a "no" if I don't hear by 5PM Tues." may work.

And, of course, you can always warn the gym that there may be a few extras.

[ripkensnana]

My stepdaughter just had a birthday party for her oldest a couple of weeks ago at a local pizza place (where she had to pay per child and adult a few days prior to the party). The morning of the party, her stepmother in law told her that she'd be coming and bringing some younger cousins with her...DSD informed her that she (MIL) would have to pay for the extra kids she was bringing....Not sure how it all worked out, except that DSD was extremely angry....

[vsonnier]

From experience, I don't know if it is just our area or what, but in all of the showers and birthday parties I have thrown, I have had *maybe* a total of 5 people RSVP. I always put it on the invitations, but no one ever calls. This is a HUGE problem when you are paying per person...I consider it to be VERY rude not to RSVP so we always make a point of it, but apparently not many people do. If it is just a home party or shower I will usually make a list of the people I *know* will be there (family and others that I talk to regularly) and for the others I plan on about half of them being there. At Josh's last party we had way more people show up than planned for which wasn't a problem because I made sure we had PLENTY of food, but a couple of people showed up with extra kids and we ran out of party favors. Luckily, several of the kids left without asking for them and no one noticed.

For something that you have to prepay per person, I have always gotten the phone number of each person and a couple of days in advance I just call and say "Hey...I just wanted to make sure you got the invitation...I'm really excited to see you there..do you think you can make it?" I actually had one friend recieve an UN-vitation for a wedding. It basically said we haven't heard from you about whether you can make it or not and the food has been paid for so we had to assume you couldn't make it. At first I thought that was really rude, but when you consider that plates at some weddings cost upwards of $20 per person, it is totally understandable!

Good luck with the party!

[Disney_Scarlett]

I usually account for a few extra. If I'm expecting 12, I'll account for 14 or 15 --- 20, and I'll account for 24 or 25. Someone's always willing to take any leftovers home. I know it's harder if you have to give a venue a set number and you pay based on that number --- I'd try to get in touch with the families if at all possible.

[tndisneyfam]

I too, would expect a few to show up. I always RSVP. But, It just amazes me how many don't and still show up for the party. Good luck!

[Luv4My4]

I'm having the same problem. We invited most of my DD's basketball team (most are also classmates) and while I am sure most are coming (they are all very close) only 5 have told me for sure. I do see the parents at practices and games so I will just ask them once the RSVP date has come and gone. I am in the situation where I think these girls are so close that the parents just assume I know that their daughter will be there but that's just not good enough when I paying by the person : I second Teresa's idea of sending notes in for the kids whose parents haven't responded. I can't think of any other way you can get an accurate count.

[Colexis Mom]

I always pad the total a little, since I know people will show up or call at the last minute (like the one I had an hour before the party!! )!

[wishes]

I hate when people do that, it's so rude! My experience has always been that if they don't RSVP, 99% of the time, they don't show up.

I'm sending my DDs to Texas to get married for $20 or more/pp. Around here it's more like $120 pp!

[Carousel96]

Knowing how much my parents paid for the no-shows at our wedding reception (and these were folks who had said they were coming!) I can't see paying for people who haven't bothered to respond.
I'd go ahead and make goody bags for the non-responders, just in case, but don't include them in the head count you give the gym. You'll probably have a couple of last minute cancellations anyway (this is flu season after all!). And it wouldn't hurt for the parents to see you pleading with the gym about letting their kid in without a reservation!

[B.M.]

Always be prepared for extra, with 5 kids I have throw a few dozen parties and hardly ever do I get RSVP's . In the future , something I just started doing this year is..............on the invite , I list the date, time, and such, but where it says place....I write call for directions and put my ##. That way they have to call. I don't understand why people don't RSVP. When I get an invitation, I try to call right away and let them know if I can or can not come so that I don't forget. (I had one party a few years back without a single rsvp except family and had close to 30 kids show, talk about unprepared!)

[Minniemouse27]

Dd's birthday is in July. I invited her ENTIRE kindergarten class last year...none of them showed up and ONE...only ONE RSVPed that they weren't coming....an hour before the party started!

Thank goodness all the kids she was in summer camp with all came, otherwise we would have been sitting at the gym at the YMCA all by ourselves!

I solved the birthday party issue this year... I'm taking dd to WDW! I gave her the choice between a party or a trip to see Cinderella and she wisely chose Cindy. I raise 'em right!

[Chrissi]

I hate that! Ugh! So rude! I'd try to track down their phone numbers if possible and call to ask if they got their invitations because you haven't heard from them yet and you need to give a headcount. Passive-agressive? Yes. I see no reason not to shame people into remembering their manners. If you mailed the invites, you could drop a couple of reminder post cards in the mail. If it arrives too late, they're out of luck. They had the invite in plenty of time.

I got so tired of not getting RSVPs - I've started making my own invitations on the computer and add "RSVP required, or the bunny gets it." with a picture of Emo Bunny. Emo Bunny's picture has him covering his face with his paws and says "you make bunny cry".

At least now they NOTICE the RSVP. It's been such a problem that I have to put a note on the invites that says "RSVP REQUIRED". "Requested" implies a head count isn't critical.

[disneydani]

Stressful, I know but some peoplke definitely don't RSVP, for whatever reason. I would be inclined to add a couple of extra kids.

danielle