Long Distance or Local Grandparents?? About This Page:

[stretch2864]

I think you have to do what is best for your family. When I was growing up, I spent almost every summer with my grandparents. They lived in South Dakota, and we lived various places around the country. Finally we moved to Minnesota and were only about 4 hours away from them. Then I got to see my grandparents every few months.

My DD on the other hand was lucky enough to live in the same house as her grandma (my mom.) Due to circumstances (including a divorce), DD and I moved in with my mom when DD was 18 months old. So she doesn't remember living anywhere else other than with grandma. If we couldn't have a traditional family, then having DD grow up with her grandma around was the next best thing. She is very close to my mom for that reason.

[soccermomof2]

My mom's parents and my dad's father had passed away before I was born. My dad's mother died a year after I was born, so I grew up without grandparents.

My mother lives about 20 minutes away and my in-laws live 2 minutes away. I try to visit my mom often, but it sometimes doesn't work out with our schedules. My in-laws try to make it to the boys' sporting events as much as they can, so the kids see them more than my mother.

[Figment Fan]

I was an Air Force brat so there were sometimes years when I did not see my grandparents. When we did visit, or when they came, it was such a treat for us that we loved every minute. We talked often on the phone and for birthdays and Christmas my parents would video tape the events to send back to the grandparents. My parents moved to New Mexico when I was five months pregnant and my in-laws live five minutes away from us. I do feel upset about my parents being so far away, but I have done some research that having pictures of the absent parents in the house and talking to the kids about who they are often helps them when they are around the grandparents. I have a wonderful relationship with my grandparents despite the separation and I know the girls will have one with my parents as well. Good luck!

[DisneyFanAnn]

My mom's parents had already passed away when I was born so I only knew my dad's parents. They lived approx. 8-10 hours away so we would go see them once a year, sometimes once every 2 years. It really was just the way it was so it didn't seem strange to me at all.

[DisneyBlonde]

Growing up my Grandparents were about 350 miles away. We moved from Illinois to Wisconsin when I was 4. Both sets of Grandparents were in the same town and while I did see my fathers parents more because they owned a resort during the Summer months by us and they supported my parents decision to move here. In fact years later my father has two brothers and his parents that all live within 20 miles of us. My Mom's parents were mad when we left and for a year my grandfather did not speak to us or send us cards or gifts because he said my mother had taken us away from him. He thought that we were living in the sticks so to speak.
Our children have one set of grandparents in the same town and while they see them once in a while they don't spend one on one time with them. Mainly because my husbands parents have problems that I don't want to subject my kids to. The other set of Grandparents (my parents) is only 10 miles away and the kids see them but we are still pursuaded to go live in the town that I grew up in. Silly I know as it's not that far but I do think I like a bit of distance between us. I think it's healthy to have family relationships but its equally healthy to branch out on your own.

[Marybeth]

My DF parents died before I was born. DM parents lived in the same house for 30 years. Being a military family, we lived all over the country, and it was difficult to see family. We would travel to DGP's home most Christmas' and visited with them and DM 2 brothers and their families.
Even now, I am not close to DF side. They live "up North" in Wisc, Calif, Alaska, Oregon, etc. I have relatives I have never met.

That said, I have a friend that is related in some way to most everyone down here. When I mention a name of someone I met, she often says that she is related to them!
When they have family get togethers 2-300 people or more show up!! Wow, to have that kind of support system! I have told her that I envy her having sooo many family members around, even distantly related ones.

[MBUS]

I lived one town over from my Grandparents, both sets. They lived pretty close to each other, and went to the same church. I consider myself very lucky that I got to spend so much time with them, and really got to know them. My maternal grandparents came to WDW with us when I was a girl, and we brought my Grandmother one last time in 1997. It is one of my favorite memories.

My DH never knew his Grandfathers, they both died before he was born. I think his last Grandmother died when he was in HS or college.

When we married we moved in the middle of our parents (about 20-50 minutes away). It suited our jobs being in this location. Once we had kids, my mum came alot to babysit/help/play. His parents not so much. We moved to my hometown. My parents are here spend a lot of time with my kids. DH's parents live just over an hour away and only come here about 1x/year, for one of my sons' birthday parties. They spend their winters in Clearwater, FL. We've visited them in FL a couple times (combining with a trip to WDW, of course! ). They are really not interested in seeing us. We tried setting up regular visits, but no interest. They will drive up to the coast for fried clams and pass by our house, but don't stop by. I have other friends with parents who really are not interested in being "grandparents" and I think it's so sad. DH's parents are not that bad, but also not that interested in regular visits. What can you do?

You have to settle where it's best for you. As long as you have visits, phone calls, etc. and your kids know their grandparents love them, I think you'll be fine.

Beth

[Tricia Davids]

Growing up I lived near them at first and then we moved 12 hours away but we stayed close through mail and phone and quality visits. Now we have the opposite problem - we have both sets of parents and a set of grandparents in town and we are unable to have children. Sometimes you can never win.

[Tonichelle]

my parents had to deal with this on my maternal grandparents side... they always blamed my dad for keeping my mom and I up here in Alaska. Nevermind I was born and raised here AND the fact that my MOM CHOSE to stay up here.

They always complained that it was unfair that my dad's parents got to see me 'whenever they wanted' because we were in teh same state. But we were in a town 3 hours (one way) by car... (actually that wasn't until I was 5, and that was a HUGE move for my little bitty psyche and I was upset for a long while) and so they had to travel to see me. My parents couldn't afford to fly down to California every year (or every other month like suggested) and they told my grammy and grampy they were welcome any time they wanted to visit (to which they always said that THEY couldn't travel for whatever reason.)

So I had(have) a great relationship with my paternal grandparents, but basically was the *other* grandchild in my mom's side... though my Grampy and I patched things up my grammy and I never got along because she hated my dad for forcing 'her girls' to stay up here.

I'm 23 and could have gone down there to live with them after high school and I CHOSE to stay in Alaska... they didn't get the message though.