<sigh>....I don't know where or how to start this.... About This Page:

[stretch2864]

[SarahJ]

I have no advice as my DDs are still little. But I will be filing away what everyone has said for future reference should I need it with one of my three daughters, who will all be teens at the same time. God help me!

Pixies for you and your daughter.

[tinker_me_happy]

Oh Jooki, I am just heart sick for you! Be strong!! Tough Love!! You definately need to sit down with your daughter AND your son and let them know that lying is unacceptable! Also staying with the grandparents is a great solution, but just the beginning. Counceling may not be a bad thing. As for the bf's mothers bad behavior SHAME ON HER. Though you probably can't do anything since (THANKFULLY) nothing happened to your daughter.

[LizardCop]

[mcc0313]

Oh Jooki....I am so sorry that this happened again...



I am at work but I will be PMing you later....

[akleos]

[Teresa]

I remember the first post, about the first incident. I hoped that was the end for this problem, but being a former teen girl who became I teen mother, I had a bad feeling it wasn't the end.
Yes, your DD needs a talking to. And she needs to be answerable for leaving her little brother at home alone - and having him lie for her!! How long has this been happening? Is this something that happened once, or is it a regular thing?

I'm more angry about the MOM. First of all - did she KNOW your DD was at her house in the first place? Seems she might have. And, then to make the child walk home in the middle of the night!! That's just not very responsible.

I know you say you don't want to talk to the boy's mother -but what about his father? This really needs addressed as more than just your DD's problem. And, it does take 2 to tango. Maybe you could drive your point home by letting them know that if your DD ends up "with child", you will be pursuing child support??

Jooki, I know you want to kill her. Or at least shake her until her teeth loosen. I would too. But - she is a teen girl. They're not really thinking with their heads at this age. And she probably believes that boy really does LOVE her.
I wish I could tell you what to say/do to her. But I have no clue. All I know is that she'll not believe most of what you can say to her. SHE is of course much smarter than you are. And she won't realize she isn't until she's older.
All I can tell you is good luck, and I think you're doing a wonderful job!!

[lauren-roxy]

[Jookiba]

Originally Posted by Teresa

And she needs to be answerable for leaving her little brother at home alone - and having him lie for her!! How long has this been happening? Is this something that happened once, or is it a regular thing?

She claims this was the first time she's sneaked out @ night. Of course now I doubt her but can't tell for sure since I'm at work 3 nights a week.

I talked with DS alone when I got home, asking him if he thought about what was happening-what she said to him in regards to where she was going, what she was going to do, etc. And of course the talk about lying where I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall trying to get these kids to understand just how serious it can be.

And yes, his mother knew she was there because she left me a voicemail stating "this is X's mom and I want you to know I just threw your daughter out of my house as I found her in bed with my son". As if her SON is totally innocent!

I'm going to try to get a nap in because my head is bobbing as I sit and type this......

I do thank you all who have responded thus far.

[NanaTink]

Oh, Jooki! Thank goodness your DD is safe! I want to kill that other mother! OMG!!! Sending a teenage girl out in the street in the middle of the night???? I wonder what her reaction would be if someone had done that to her innocent (?!) son! I don't know but what charges of child endangerment could be placed on that mother (and I use that term reluctantly).

I know raising teens is a real rollercoaster, and I also know that you are doing a fantastic job! You can't be there 24/7, you must work to provide a home, food, clothing and special things. I think staying with your parents while you are working is an excellent strategy. It drives home that point of you can't trust her right now. She has to have a babysitter, in effect.

I don't think I would let your son get off here either...even if he did not lie directly to you, he did so by omission. By knowing what was going on and not telling you he is somewhat complicit as well!

All I can do is give you big and strength from the tons of flowing your way!

[NanaTink]

By the time I finished writing, I see where you did talk to your son about the lying as well.

That mother (again, I use that term loosly) needs to have a reality check.

[Disneydiana]

I am PM'ing you

[eff051102]

I would talk with the MOM and let her know that if her perfect son and your
DD make a baby.....you will be coming after them for any and all support. Maybe
that will get her to start watching her perfect son! UGH

Oh and if this happens again...she will be talking to the police about endangering
your DD.

[goofysdtr]

I have no advice . . . just .

[chelle89]