Depression is kicking in
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I thought I would love being out of work, but there was an issue with the unemployment and I had to reapply, so that will be 3-4 weeks without a check. My dh works 2 jobs, but one is commission only and his 2 jobs doesn't even come close to what I make from 1. We are short on rent for April and I am just starting to feel pretty awful. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I send out resumes, I get interviews, and then...nothing. I am trying to hold it together, but inside I'm starting to feel like a loser with a capital L.
I try talking to my dh, but I am the strong one, the one who doesn't get bothered, so I am having a hard time expressing how depressed I'm getting. Is this normal? I am so not housewife material and I am going crazy here. I just really wanted to get this out, I thought it might make me feel better.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.
I remember reading once that people who interview for jobs and maybe aren't as qualified as other applicants or evenly matched with them have an 80% chance of getting the job IF they send a hand written thank you card. I have a stack of them waiting for my interviews I'm hoping for.
Pixies that you get a great job offer soon.
first thing is you need to get out of the house. I find that if I am home doing things around the house and I don't get out and have social contact with people that it is not good for me. Go to the park, the Mall, the library.
as for the job interviews, maybe you can practice with some friends to help relax and they can tell you how you are doing. Its not easy any more to get a good feel for a position and for the interviewee to know if they are making a good impression. I wish you lots and lots of that the job for you will tuen up soon. Hang in there...
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I think getting depressed is normal, especially under the circumstances. My son and I were just discussing how having the best qualifications may not be the biggest factor in getting beyond the interview. One big purpose of the interview is to see how you fit in with the work group they have and how your strengths meet up with what they need. You could be perfect for the job description, but they need a real numbers person and you are a real people person, so they pass on you. Try not to take it as a reflection on you.
Also, while I think a hand written thank you is nice, it has become so routine, I don't think it makes you stand out so much anymore when everyone writes them.
Also, I agree that if you get out you will feel better-is there a networking group near you?
Could you find a part time job while you wait? You can still work part time and collect unemployment as long as you declare it. Or maybe some volunteer work? Getting out into the community might help make some connections for you. The more people you meet and socialize with, the larger the net you create. Sometimes when there are many people applying for th same job, a personal contact or reference makes all the difference in the world.
Try not to take the interview thing personally. It's a tough job market out there. And while you wait, there's always Passporter to help occupy your time!
I am so sorry you have to go through this. We have been through it and I can completely relate. Try to keep you head up. I know it is hard to even think about the silver lining but I truly believe there always is one. I didn't realize what mine was till I was looking back on that hard time! I'll keep your family in my prayers! Stay strong!
I think what you are going through is absolutely normal! My DH is self employed and I am the "major bread winner" in my household. Some months are good, and some months are down right scary with his business. The economy has not been good for a while and it is taking its toll! Things are very stressful and we have had months where he can barely pay his office expenses, never mind the bills he usually pays at home. When that happens I have to step up and cover those things too and it causes a huge range of emotions from fear to anger to stress to depression to resentment back to fear! Sometimes I hate that I am the one that everything falls on, and that I am the "strong" one in my family too. I am not "allowed" to "be stressed" about things. At one point I told my DH he was being selfish because he was wallowing in his stress about money and he needed to stop being so self indulgent in his anxiety over the money problems because he was pissing me off so much! Thus my point of the story...
I'm not saying you are wallowing. I have been there with the depression over household finances and the anxiety it creates! But staying in that frame of mind only keeps you in that frame of mind if you know what I mean. So when you feel yourself getting sucked into the deep dark void, go outside, take a walk (even if it is only around your apartment building) and start doing the most difficult math there is... the kind that adds up your treasures! When you start to "count your blessings" and see how much you can be truly "Thankful" for, you will start to look at your "misfortune" in a whole new light! When I told my DH I was sick and tired of his self indulgent affair with his " life of lack" he was shocked at his own attitude towards things. I told him start looking at all the good in your life instead of all that is missing and when he did, things started to change. True, we still have difficult months. We had another one last month. I actually yelled at him this past week because he "pouted" because I wouldn't buy beer when I picked up pizza for supper, which was a special treat we really shouldn't have gotten this week.
The point to this long drawn out thing: When you feel down, don't focus on what is lacking in your life, start making a list of all the good in your life! It won't change things immediately, but it will make you feel better inside! I've been there and done that! You have over come a lot in your life already! Albert Einstein said "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Change your thinking, and your thinking around the problem changes.