Babysitter issues... About This Page:

[tkm1005]

[B.M.]

I would be frustrated too.... I can see why you wouldn't want someone with medical/physical problems keeping the kids (especially a baby). Now, if your kids are older (so that grandma's physical limitations wouldn't be an issue)- I would seriously be tempted to go ahead and let grandma babysit and go to the game.... Just to be peaceful... with you guys living so far away, you don't see them often... If you had to deal w/it all the time it would need to be nipped in the bud; but if it's just once in a blue moon, I think I would just bite my tounge and go along with it.... JMHO
I hope it all works out

[buckinghammr]

Go to the game and have fun! Guess I don't see it as a big deal. If Grandma is willing, let her!

[Teresa]

Okay, a couple of things: First, I'd call MIL and explain that you're just afraid it would wear her out, but if she would really like to have all 3 kids for that long a period, you'd be happy to leave them with her. You could even suggest having one of your regular babysitters come to be a "grandma's helper", so she could enjoy the kids and not worry about the little stuff. Maybe even offer to pay for a babysitter for the BABY so she can re-connect with her other grandchildren she doesn't see as often. Secondly, have your DH talk to his brother (or sister) and explain that you would love to see them to visit, but just asking you guys to babysit kind of hurt both your feelings. Thirdly, I'd make sure to mention how lucky they are to have so many people they can trust to keep the baby, that you had to wait a long time before you didn't feel guilty abandoning the baby to the care of others!!

The alternatives: say nothing, buy your own tickets, and try to enjoy their stay, celebrating your kids getting to see their baby cousin.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for everyone.

[TexasHeathers]

Annoying and selfish relatives are the bane of my existence. Bite your tongue and keep the peace. It's not worth the tension!!

[Carla33]

I understand. My family is the same way. They just think that everyone is there to help them. I only ask when needed. I never ask when I just want to go out. You are right!

[MsPeggySue911]

I'm curious...are all these folks going to be staying at your house while they are in town or are they getting a hotel room?

If they are going to be staying at your house that might be kind of awkward not using the grandma to watch your own kids. However if they are not even going to be staying at your house then let them use grandma, you pay for your own babysitter and each couple can buy their own tickets so you don't have to sit together.

If y'all were planning on going to the game without them anyway then it won't matter if they don't sit by you.

As far as having to pay for babysitters I never had ANYBODY watch my kids. Once I became a mom my nights out stopped until they were old enough to stay by themselves.

My dad even lived with us for a few years but I never left my kids with him.

SO it's not the end of the world if you don't get to go out and leave your kids with ppl. Especially if you don't trust them.

[Huntermom]

I'd let things go as long as your kids are old enough not to need to be picked up and carried around. When my kids were young, the most reliable babysitter I had was the women across the street, who was well into her seventies when my first was born and pretty close to 80 when my third was.

[jlhill4444]

My sister in law is the same way. We don't allow my mother in law to watch our 3 kids and sil 4 kids at the same time because that is just too much for one person (which has numerous health issues). Especially when one of the kids (mine) is a baby. Sil will fly mil in from Texas to Ohio so she can babysit for a week here and there. This is ridiculous to me, but they both agree to it, so what can one do?

I would just politely decline grandma's offer and get my own sitter if you want to go to the game. I would explain to grandma it is not a trust issue, it is an ability issue. Or, as pp suggested, offer to pay for a sitter for the baby so that grandma can spend some time with your children.

[GATechGal]

Originally Posted by Teresa

Okay, a couple of things: First, I'd call MIL and explain that you're just afraid it would wear her out, but if she would really like to have all 3 kids for that long a period, you'd be happy to leave them with her. You could even suggest having one of your regular babysitters come to be a "grandma's helper", so she could enjoy the kids and not worry about the little stuff. Maybe even offer to pay for a babysitter for the BABY so she can re-connect with her other grandchildren she doesn't see as often. Secondly, have your DH talk to his brother (or sister) and explain that you would love to see them to visit, but just asking you guys to babysit kind of hurt both your feelings. Thirdly, I'd make sure to mention how lucky they are to have so many people they can trust to keep the baby, that you had to wait a long time before you didn't feel guilty abandoning the baby to the care of others!!

The alternatives: say nothing, buy your own tickets, and try to enjoy their stay, celebrating your kids getting to see their baby cousin.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for everyone.

It might be a nice excuse for grandma to get a chance to visit with your kids if she doesn't get to do that often. And if your DH doesn't tell his sibling the y'all's feelings were hurt then they won't know. You can say it nicely.

[joelsmom]

I think Teresa has many good ideas here. I would also like to know where these folks will be staying while they are in your town. That would make some difference for me, but overall, if grandma is coming to watch the little one, I suppose what I would do is either graciously let her watch my kids too or graciously offer to get a helper sitter.

If SIL and her crew are staying with you, I think they have a lot of nerve asking you to not only provide them lodging but babysitting. SIL sounds to me like a user...you know, one of those self-absorbed types who isn't about to let her baby interfere with her life. That galls me!

I can totally understand your frustration with her, but as long as I could ensure the safety and security of the kids, I would probably just go to the game, bite my tongue, and exhale when they leave town.

Relatives!!!!!

[notjustamom]

I can understand your frustration as my SIL has used and abused my IL over the years. I look at it this way, you have 2 options: speak up or get over it. If you don't speak up, no one is aware of your feelings. If you don't want to rock the boat by speaking up, you have to get over it and move on. In the grand scheme of things, while annoying and frustrating, your situation isn't life altering. I have, after many years, finally spoken up/out about my SIL. Now that I've voiced my opinion I am at peace. I let her do her crazy of which she is a master and I move on, my life will not be affected by her. Good luck, it's always tricky with family, especially IL family.

[PhilsEagles08]

Your sister in law sounds JUST like my sister-entitled to everything & assumes everyone owes her.

I don't know what to suggest but I do feel the grandmother is too old given her health condition that you mentioned.

[joelsmom]

Oh My Gosh! Really? Pull your kids out of school so they can visit? Really? We all just need to get this woman in a room for an intervention. She's apparently addicted to herself! She needs a dose of the good sense in evidence on this board.

And I notice that grandma is her mother. Is she not your DH's mother? If not, I think that would change things for me about the babysitting. On the other hand, maybe I'm misunderstanding. That's been known to happen.

[tinker_me_happy]

Well I think I missed something here - about a sickly grandmother? - If you have a couple of people that you normally use for babysitting, could you possibly offer the name and number of one (after checking with the sitter first of course!) and tell your SIL that no, you can not watch the baby, but here is the name of someone she could possibly hire for the night.