A "funny" for dog and cat owners About This Page:

[DopeyGirl]

I got this in an e-mail a few months ago and just found it on my computer . . . thought it was pretty funny, so thought I should share it!!!


A letter to your pets

Dear Dogs and Cats,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.

In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cats' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

You weigh 90 pounds. You have no business jumping into my lap or running at me and throwing yourself into me when I come home with my hands full of groceries. No, it is NOT cute.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door...

Rules for Non Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't smoke or drink, don t worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.

[DCLFANATiC]

LOL This is too funny !

[BritDisFan]

.

Karen

[Colexis Mom]

That's great Sarah Thanks for sharing

[LizardCop]

[img]http://smileys.*************.com/cat/23/23_29_132.gif[/img] [img]http://smileys.*************.com/cat/4/4_1_210.gif[/img]

[rescuesk]

I think I need to print this and post it by the critter's dishes!

[sarah_belle]

Very funny!

Sarah

[buckysmom]

I should post this on every door in the house, not that 2 of my 3 dogs are bright enough to read...

[buzzspal2]

[Stephanie P.]

Stephanie

[RobinKay6573]

I have seen that one before but it is still funny.

[AmyAngel]

Too cute! (And so true...)

[wdwlovers]

Cute!

[DISNEYGOOF]

I love the one about the stairs. Our dog insists on being the "first" one, up or down, doesn't matter to him

[Irene]

Thanks! I needed a laugh today!