Vent about DDs work and need advice About This Page:

[graygables]

DD got hired at Build a Bear last Feb when she was 15 b/c they asked *me* if I wanted a job and I jokingly said, no, thanks, how about DD? Well, they handed her an application and she was hired. The person who did the hiring wasn't excited about her, so only started her off at $5.15 an hour, even though other girls who were hired after her (15yo, 1st job) got more $. She's been OK with that, just a little miffed.

Since the beginning, she has been their "go-to girl". If they get in a scheduling bind, she has been very reliable to come in and cover for whomever. Once, I was at the mall and the manager asked me if I could go home and get her to bring her back to work, since they were in a crisis, which I did (we live 30 minutes away, so it was an hour and a half trip for me, home-mall-home) We have never complained and have always been gracious about the emergency call-ins.

DD has called off sick one time since Feb and she was vomiting. She has gone to work even when she doesn't "feel" like it. She has people call and request that she do their parties for them. She finally got her "90 day review" some *7 months* after she started and it was fine.

They asked for everyone to update their holiday availability for scheduling, so I sent in a new form. She has closed (10pm) at least one Fri or Sat night all fall so that the other "little misses" could attend their ball games, homecomings, dates, etc. She has one family that she is their exclusive babysitter (and pays well) who asked that she make herself available on Fri and Sat nights for the holidays, since they are very "social" people and DD is their only babysitter (they have a very clingy baby who does great w/ DD), so I changed her availability to have those nights off, but I opened other days to make up for the loss of hours. She was off on Sundays, but I opened that until 6pm. We do a family thing every Sunday at 7pm during the Christmas season, have done it for 40 years and I don't plan to stop for retail.

So, tonight (after they called her on her day off to come do inventory and cover for a girl who called in sick), 2 of the managers got on her case about her availability and when she explained it to them, they told her she would only get about 8 hours per week and that they were going to have to *hire* more people (they have about 30 on payroll) since she can't work Fri or Sat nights. That makes no sense to me at all. She also said that one of the managers told her that if she wears the shoes she's been wearing for 5 months to work again, she would write her up b/c they are not solid white (they have a light blue star on the side). 5 months and they are just now picking on her shoes?

It sounds to me like they are looking for a reason to fire her, but I want to know why. I, of all people, know that my DD can be a real witch with a capital B, and she certainly is a problem child at home, but at work, she has done an excellent job. I'm debating whether I should go talk to the manager or if I should skip her altogether and go to the DM, who is male and could very well understand my frustration at all the sniping and grudges and unprofessional behavior that has been going on.

This is why I could never be a CM...it would lose its magic for me, just like Build a Bear has...I used to *love* that store (why they asked me to work there), but now I just want to smack them and tell them to grow up!

Soooo, what would you do? DD is still 16, she is a minor child, and *I* am the one who changed her availability to meet with our family schedule. Thanks for getting this far and for any advice you can offer! This is *so* why DH and I are self-employed!!!

[Teresa]

Dawn -
#1 - Let me say that it is nice to hear that your DD is such a great employee and babysitter. I know that she has been driving you nuts lately, and it's nice that you have something to be positive about in her life.

I don't know if I can give you any advice in this. My sister and I never had jobs as teens. Getting good grades in school, and into college were our jobs, and Mom, Dad, and stepmom paid us a decent allowance so we had spending money.

I usually think that kids need to be able to solve problems on their own, but your actions (and they were completely correct) caused this problem.

Maybe, you could talk to the manager at the store, ask what the problem is and how DD can make it better. If you get no-where, then, I would go on up the ladder.

And, I would take DD with me. Tell her first what you will and will not say, and ask her to be sure to interject with things if she wants. Also, maybe role play it with her so that she doesn't get overwhelmed and too upset during the confrontation.
Let us know what happens.

[stretch2864]

I'm sorry to hear that Build a Bear is giving your DD a hard time. It must be frustrating to her (and you) to work hard and then get treated badly in return.

I had a couple of thoughts on the subject. Could your DD work out a compromise and make herself available for a few hours Friday afternoons and Saturday morning and afternoons in exchange for having Friday and Saturday nights off? Alternatively, could the family she babysits for give her a schedule of actual dates they will be needing her so that she could request those specific days off rather than every Friday and Saturday through the holiday season? During the holiday season, retailers are desperate for anyone and everyone to work, especially on the weekends, which is why they are probably on her case about availability. However, since she has filled in frequently over the past several months when they have been in a pinch, you would hope they would be a little more understanding.

I guess it depends on the store and the manager (and after this length of time I'm sure you know the circumstances best), but I'm wondering if your DD might end up with more problems at her job if you talk to the manager or DM on her behalf instead of letting her handle the matter herself. They may think that she is not mature enough to handle the job if she isn't dealing with this matter herself. Could she maybe with some coaching from you on the sidelines go up the corporate ladder and talk with the DM herself? It sounds like if the facts were all laid out on the table, they would see that she has done nothing wrong and maybe a fresh person (other than her existing managers) might be able to look at the situation and come up with a suitable solution. Earlier this year my DD had a new manager at the store where she works who was very ineffective, so DD had some frank conversations with the DM because she was on the verge of quitting. Some of those suggestions got passed back down to the manager and as time has gone by, she has actually become a very good manager who cares about the employees and really makes an effort with them. Because DD had been so proactive, she was actually rewarded with a promotion to one of the asst. managers of the store.

Here's some that things will work out for your DD. Please keep us posted and let us know what happens!

[katspjs]

[Colexis Mom]

Sending your DD tons of pixie Dawn

[Nick and Ryans Mom]

Good luck with the situation. I wouldn't worry about her losing hours, with the other employees being so unreliable I bet your daughter will still get hours.

[GATechGal]

I think the advice given here has been great. As hard as it is for both you AND DD, it would probably be better to let her work it out. But I think practicing before you go and making sure she has all her facts in order and any compromises that she could make together would be great to do. Fore armed is fore warned. (or is it the other way round?)

[2princessmom]

I agree with the advice given. I would say that you need to see what your daughter wants you to do and then role play with her what you are going to say. I wish you luck! What a hard spot especially when she has put in so much time and effort for the store.

[snoozy]

I don't know about Ohio but, Calif has some very strict rules for employers who hire teenagers. Here they have to have a work permit and the employer cannot make them work over a certain amount of hours. Have her check her pay stubs and go back over the hours that she has worked so if she does talk to the manager she can point out all the times she has made herself available but, she has got to do it on her own. If that doesn't help she can always give notice, its better then being fired and she can always find another job. No job is worth that kind of treatment or stress.

[Stephanie P.]

As I have learned from being employed by companies, when they are used to you doing something(like working weekend nights), they fully expect it from that point on. I'm sure that they were probably counting on her to pick up that slack and are upset that now she can't do it. That's probably where the shoe thing comes in...they let it slide when she was their "pawn", but now that she's not doing everything they want her to do, they have a problem with the shoes.

I have never worked in retail, but I would think that Friday and Saturday nights are at least required to be rotated throughout the staff. I don't know, though. They may be upset that she's saying she can't work any of them.

Is this job something that she needs to do? If not, maybe this isn't where she needs to be anymore. If she does need a job, maybe she needs to think about working somewhere else.

Good luck!