driving from ny with 4 kids and a mother in law About This Page:

[eyotig25]

We are leaving for Our surprise Star Wars Weekend trip in less than 30 days and i am NOT looking forward to the drive. I would love to leave in the early evening to see if we can get the kids(7,5,3,2) to sleep most of the way down but my 80 yeay old mother in law doesn't want to sleep while riding for that long(even though she falls asleep on and off thru the day time anyway). i dont want to stop more than once because of the limited funds and its an ongoing argument that will make it down to the wire. any suggestions on persuading her to our way of thinking would be ever so helpful. if we drive during the day we wont make it in time and she just does not understand this.

[HiddenMickey]

If you are driving, I think you should get to say when you are on the road.
Can you compromise and leave in the early morning hours instead? Perhaps doing that, the kids will sleep for a good chunk once you are on the way.

[JoanneS]

It's your trip, you're driving, you decide. She can either come with you in the evening or stay home. I would just TELL her that you are leaving at X o'clock and that's that. Then when you get her in the car, give her a cup of hot tea laced with a little brandy. She'll be out before you know it and you'll have a nice quiet ride!

[coasties]

Originally Posted by JoanneS

It's your trip, you're driving, you decide. She can either come with you in the evening or stay home. I would just TELL her that you are leaving at X o'clock and that's that. Then when you get her in the car, give her a cup of hot tea laced with a little brandy. She'll be out before you know it and you'll have a nice quiet ride!

EXACTLY what I was thinking! Except for the brandy which I must say is quite creative!
Whe we lived on the east coast we always drove through the night to WDW. HAPPY PLANNING!

[Disneydiana]

It sounds like driving down in the evening would be a better idea.

[GingerJ]

Sheri,
A little more info, please: are you the only one driving, or is your husband driving, too? I would never recommend a lone driver pushing on overnight, but it's do-able with two drivers, as long as you both are able to sleep in the car.

Agree with everyone else: tell her when you're leaving, and then LEAVE at the appointed hour--making sure she knows you will leave at that time. Be aware that passive-aggressive behavior is horribly likely when you lay down the law to someone determined to resist you...I would almost bet money that she'd arrive late, make a big fuss about something that causes a huge delay, and do whatever possible to sabotage your plan. Of course, I'm reading a lot into this, not knowing anything about DMIL except that you said she's resisting your plan.

Good luck!

Ginger

[GingerJ]

Oh, and I meant to add: Don't argue about it any more, same as you'd do with the kids. You know that once your kids get you trying to defend/explain your position, you've almost lost the battle, so try to avoid fighting. When the subject comes up (with your DH backing you up!), you both say, gently: "Mom, we've given it a lot of thought and this is the way we're going to do it. If you can't manage to ride overnight, we'll really miss you, because we're looking forward to enjoying the adventure with you." And then seal your lips!

Ginger

[DisneyWitch]

While I agree with most of the sentiments here (especially the brandy one!), I have to question whether you'd want to speak to your MiL as if she was a kid. Certainly, lay down the law, and explain rationally that it will make for a faster (less traffic), safer (less traffic) and less expensive (less traffic = better gas mileage) trip. Tell her you've thought about it and how best to travel to Florida with the least amount of hassle. Furthermore, is this trip for her or for your kids / family?

Be firm, but don't treat her like a kid. That will not only insult her, but will make her more apt to dig her heels in to prove a point. Get her on your side! If she balks, you can always offer to let her watch your house while you're in Florida. She can sleep whenever she wants then!

[GingerJ]

Originally Posted by DisneyWitch

While I agree with most of the sentiments here (especially the brandy one!), I have to question whether you'd want to speak to your MiL as if she was a kid. Certainly, lay down the law, and explain rationally that it will make for a faster (less traffic), safer (less traffic) and less expensive (less traffic = better gas mileage) trip. Tell her you've thought about it and how best to travel to Florida with the least amount of hassle. Furthermore, is this trip for her or for your kids / family?

Be firm, but don't treat her like a kid. That will not only insult her, but will make her more apt to dig her heels in to prove a point. Get her on your side! If she balks, you can always offer to let her watch your house while you're in Florida. She can sleep whenever she wants then!

If you meant my post, I wasn't saying treat her like a kid; I was merely pointing out that arguing is clearly not working, just as it fails to work with children, and it was time to stop that particular futile tactic and tell the MIL her and her husband's decision--just as all the other posters suggested. The original poster said they have already laid out all their points and explained their reasoning, and the MIL refuses to budge. That tells me that arguing is not getting them anywhere. I guess adding the part about "same as you'd do with your kids" led you to believe I felt she should be treated like a child but that was not my intent, and I wish now I'd left it out--it was an incidental point that added nothing to my post.

Ginger

[tigersprinkles]

where in ny do you live we drive all the time from eastern li and can give some help we leave all different times drive straight thru

[Carousel96]

good luck. We don't drive overnight.

[JerseyDad]

.....I've tried the all in one shot overnight drive....and it was brutal (it takes time to acclimate your body to do that)...since I'm the only driver (by choice)...we ended up stopping for a 90 minute power-nap in the rest area close to Savannah before pushing on to WDW.

....if driving is they way you go...and the schedule (departure time) is critical to your best interests and successful travel...then that's the way it's got to be...and all involved...(including passengers) need to know that. We took friends with us once (a mother, her daughter, and one of my daughters friends)...and said that "we're leaving at 5am"....because WE were the mode of transport....they all got to our house at 4:30am!

[notjustamom]

I think I'd just let her know "we're leaving at ... " and let her come to terms with it. I was also thinking along the brady lines too!! Personally, you couldn't pay me to spend 10 sec. in a car with my MIL so props to you Good luck

[lindadarrall]

If you travel at night your MIL won't have to "babysit" her grandchildren - they'll be sleeping!!

Maybe she's secretly resisting because she's afraid there won't be enough bathroom breaks or something like that....maybe a heart-to-heart talk will help.

Good luck!

[Nova]

MIL didnt like night driving even though she didnt drive(at all ever) and the first trips we made to NC we had to do day driving. Then we finally decided that enough was enough if she wanted to come then she had to go what ever time we were driving or else she didnt have to go at all. I can understand if someone was helping drive then let them drive at the time they want to, but to dictate a time to drive when you are just sitting there as a passenger that just isnt right.