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[tkm1005]

I have to chime in with Sandra about the fact that not every book will appeal to everyone. However, for me this book was very insightful, but not until I was ready for it... I heard about the book awhile back, actually I caught the Oprah show where the author was discussing it, and I went to the bookstore to buy it. But after reading the back of the book I just wasn't drawn in, thought it was a book about a divorcee and not something I would really be that into at the moment.

About 6 months later I noticed this thread on the Passporter site, but didn't really read it...but then I happened upon the book again in a 2nd hand bookstore and thought I'd check it out. It seems like the book was just sort of haunting me in various ways so I finally read it and I'm glad I did. Its so much more than a book about a divorcee and there are so many gems of knowledge throughout the book. As a stay at home mom, living the life Liz knew early on she didn't want, I found her life lessons invaluable.

Anyway, it may not be the right time in your life to read the book, but there may be a time when it will be.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by tkm1005

I have to chime in with Sandra about the fact that not every book will appeal to everyone. .

Well said! (Call me Sandy-that's what my friends call me! I write/speak as Sandra, so that's why I used that name-for easy searching. I wanted people who had questions to be able to find me or ask the community in general here, because the calls and e-mails were getting out-of-hand.)

I'd like to throw out a question. If you were going to meet Liz, what might you ask her or say to her about the book or her experiences?

A fiend of mine lives near her, and we are going to try and plan a road trip to her import shop to maybe meet her. With summer running out, we'd like to do it quickly. My friend (Doreen) is doing a little detective work to see if she can figure out when they are in town.

[tkm1005]

Oh how cool. I hope you find her. I'll have to think about the question... I think the only thing I wonder about is if she feels she could have avoided the divorce, some of the negative experiences in her life early on if she had taken that journey earlier in her life or if she feels that going through the painful moments were a necessary part of getting to a place to fully experience the Eat, Pray, Love journey. She seems like someone who knew early on that a traditional path was not for her so was she just trying to make her life fit the mold when she got married or had she not really figured that out yet.

Not just a casual conversation for sure....but she opens up her life in the book so I was just curious.

[sillyolebear2380]

Thank you all for your comments.. i was a little afraid that I was throwing myself into the lions den with my, not so wonderful take on the book. As for the story of my soulmate.. Many believe that a soulmate is your husband,wife,lover,,, and please don't get me wrong I love my husband ( married almost 14 years) but I believe my soul mate is my oldest child Jacob. When he was born and we looked at eachother I felt not only love but completion, self worth, an understanding of who I really am. We connect in a way ( 12 now) that I have never connected with someone.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by sillyolebear2380

i was a little afraid that I was throwing myself into the lions den .

I don't imagine there is a lions den anywhere on the PassPorter site! I enjoyed reading your comments and don't worry about not having the same opinion! I'm sure many others felt the same way you did, but just didn't way anything!

[genhand]

Ok, I far from done with this book, I'm still in italy. But I'm loving it so far!

I lived in Paris all alone for 2 years (I was a nanny and a boy friend but it seems that in his family you don't bring your girl friend to family stuff unless you are married or fiancé!) So I had a lot of time on my hand which I did the same as her, walk the entire city of light!!! I now know the secrets why french women stay thin... they walk a lot!
Anyway during that time, I also ent on vacation in Napoli and the entire amalfi coast (sorry for my spelling) I love the part where I can remember my self waling in the city, tasting the pizza and the gelato... I could still taste it with her.

I also like the way that behing alone really make you work on your self. I can totally related to her, I can't wait to continu my reading.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by genhand

Ok, I far from done with this book, I'm still in italy. But I'm loving it so far!

I also like the way that behing alone really make you work on your self. I can totally related to her, I can't wait to continu my reading.

This is my second reading, so I am strolling slowly through Bali. I'm glad someone else is still "strolling".

I liked what you said about being alone to work on yourself. I agree that it is a totally new experience, especially when traveling!

I used to be one of those clingy "oh, please be my best friend" kinds of people when I was young. Now, while I LOVE people, I need a measure of solitude time, especially on vacation when I am exploring.

My biggest disappointment is when I want to share something speical with someone I know, and can't on a solo trip. For example. both times I stayed at the Dolphin, and both views were just wonderful. It was so much more fun to have a friend there to agree with me, that the view was awesome.

Anyway, I'm here to discuss the earlier parts of the book with you!

[genhand]

I just finish italy last night. I am so glad she was better after her trip, made me feel good too And she's very good to have resist to have an affair in Italy, the country of love... because I rember when I went in 2002... the sun, the gelato, those very cute and well dressed and smell good italien boys

I started a bit of India.
Many years ago (like 6 or 7!), I did a year of hatha Yoga with my dad. We are not religious peoples but we liked the meditation and relaxion part of the hatha yoga. And I remember my dad, who as allergies and take those asthma pump... well by the end of our class, we would not need them as much. Too bad, he didn't continue, he says that he have too much work!
I don't practice yoga anymore, I've decided to try somethings else, but I miss the calmness of that activity.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Genhand, I'm so glad you are still here! I really wanted to talk about the book today. I enjoy the way you write-it sounds very "French" in your phrasing. It kind of lends and air of elegance to this conversation.

Wasn't Italy so much fun? Where are you up to in India?

I went searching back to find the bead where Liz made her "petition" in the car with her friend. Well, I was not able to find it, but what I did find is a reminder of how much fun this has been so far. We've had some AWESOME discussions here.

Having not found the bead, I don't want to give details in case Genhand has not gotten that far, so I'll be general. I've been thinking about what Liz was requesting in the petition bead and about how she is trying to get Wayan to follow through with "something" in Bali. It's made me thing about how hard it is to get people to make decisions or move forward with things if they are not ready for any number of reasons. There is such a fine balance between trying to encourage someone and pushing too hard, even if you know they need to pick up the pace. I've been thinking about how, in life, we need to accept that we'll often be in a state of limbo simply because we share our lives with others who we can't control. In both situations, the author was really in need of the kind of closure that only comes from someone else making a decision.

Depending on how you look at it, sharing this world with others could be a fun adventure waiting for the mystery of what others are going to do OR a tiresome burden of trying to manipulate and control others into doing what you think is best.

(Spoiler alert! Don't read further if you are not yet in Bali) OK, this vague talk is making me crazy! (To read below, highlight the text and it will magically appear!
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All the excuses that Wayan had for not buying her house must have been driving Liz nuts! Having her period, needing an auspicious day, needing a dream, ghosts near rivers. I guess that is all part of the culture, but I'd start to lose patience.

I loved in bead 105 when they talked about the baby ceremony where the feet touch the ground for the first time. All that preparation and ceremony. I thought about the comment "establishing who she was by where she was". I think I do that, to a degree, based on where I am and the role that I am taking at the moment. Some places I am a friend, some places a leader and some a follower. I remember on my solo Disney trip, when a client called for advice and I felt very grounded, there in Great Britain, talking on my cell phone. It was one of the moments on my solo trip when I most knew who I was, because I guess I know that role.

OK, gotta move on here! Hope everyone is enjoying the final days of summer!

[tkm1005]

Interesting Sandy... I loved your comments. That is the difficulty in life isn't it... waiting to see what someone else will do so you can plan your next move. Being supportive without being pushy. Being a good friend, but not a needy friend... Navigating the ebb and flow of creating a good mutual friendship is such an art. And the art of persuasion...no wonder there are books written on that topic.

I also found the baby experience to be so interesting. I sort of love the idea and it sort of makes me sad in a way. Like touching the ground makes the baby less special. Very interesting though.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by tkm1005

Navigating the ebb and flow of creating a good mutual friendship is such an art. And the art of persuasion...no wonder there are books written on that topic.
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I enjoyed those thoughts! I used to be quite the persuasion junkie. I see so many impasses all over, from wars to friendly fights to misunderstandings. I seem to be moving out of the need to have things my own way, and am trying to embrace the fact that there are times I'll be disappointed or misunderstood for any number of reasons. Basically, I'm trying to embrace the concept that very few issues are really personal, but a complicated mix of people's lifetimes of "stuff" that may clash with some of my "stuff". I'm learning to "back down with a blessing" which helps with those situations where agreeing to disagree doesn't quite do it. I know in the beginning of the book, the author said something about excusing herself from people's business, or excusing her business from other people's opinions. I kind of like the way she really does not necessarily persuade people on so many of the potentially controversial subjects discussed in this book.

I found the theme of accepting people expressed in several ways in this book, and that inspired me. I'm thinking of the very touching "solo healing" scene in India in the tower. That imagery is a great guide for those losses that have to be reconciled by yourself.

I'm also intrigued by the way it seems to be more efficient to gravitate to those people who understand you without alot of debate and work rather than struggling with people who are on a different wave-length. I'm also amazed that Liz floated around for a year, trusting that she'd be pulled to the people she needed, and it ended up working! It must take alot of courage to do that.

I've read alot of criticism from people about the way she left everything for a year, but all I can do is be in awe!

[Sandra Bostwick]

OK, I just realized I posted this in the Last Lecture book club! I guess I'm not so great at multi-tasking! Here is an article about our author!

She's got the whole world in her store | Philadelphia Inquirer | 07/11/2008

[Sandra Bostwick]

I just finished reading this book for the second time, and WOW!

Spoiler alert below! Beads 106 to the end!
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I was so struck by Wayan's inability or unwillingness to get her act together with the house until consequences were in the game. I have a particular project that has been going on SOO long, and I seemed unable to complete it until (I hope) now. THe consequences are the people who are looking at me and wondering "What's up?" as well as my own guilt and embarassment for not closing this particular deal. Yeh, yeh, like Wayan, I needed an auspicous day, an omen, a secret dance, but I really want that feeling that everyone seemed to have when Wayan said she'd bought her land.

I was mostly amazed at Felepe's sage advice not to get angry, or she'll lose her. Whatever reason we might have for not being able to move forward, getting anfry or feeling guilty does not help. You just have to decide you've had enough and DO!

THe inner dialogue in bead 107 was validating. Does everyone think that way, or just creative people? I don't know. I agree about changing the inner matra and allowing the silence. I also see that you really do have to face your negative thoughts. I also found it insightful to note that the peace was temporary, at least for a while. It is nice, though, when the peace starts staying longer and longer and the ick comes less frequently and is more easily forgotten.

Bead 108 touched me with the liberation from the farce of pretending to be anyone other than herself. WOW! No wonder she had so many critics. What blasphemy in this world where so many people want others to believe that we are born to suffer, struggle, live minimally happy lives, and die. GO LIZ! Let's form an army of optimists and beam the darkness of all the miserably people until they are blinking their eyes to adjust to the light! Soomer or later, some are bound to come over to laugh and seek out a little self-actualization!

I loved her reminder that a part of herself always knew she'd be OK.

Attraversiamo! Let's cross over!

[Sandra Bostwick]

Hi All!
Just resurrecting the thread to give updates.
First off, if you live in the NJ, PA area, the author is having a big holiday sale at her store Dec. 5-7 10-6 daily. You can find more info at two buttons imports

2nd, on my goal of finishing the book about my WWII POW, I just returned all his scrapbooks to be scanned and fit into the text. Thank you so much to those who gave me encouragement. I have an excited feeling about this!

[stretch2864]

Originally Posted by Sandra Bostwick

Hi All!
Just resurrecting the thread to give updates.
First off, if you live in the NJ, PA area, the author is having a big holiday sale at her store Dec. 5-7 10-6 daily. You can find more info at two buttons imports

2nd, on my goal of finishing the book about my WWII POW, I just returned all his scrapbooks to be scanned and fit into the text. Thank you so much to those who gave me encouragement. I have an excited feeling about this!

Good luck to you in finishing your book! Interesting that you resurrected this thread today. I ran across my copy of Eat, Pray, Love when I was cleaning last night. Sadly I ended up throwing it out as it had mold on the pages from getting wet last summer. So I think I will have to pick up a new copy to keep on my bookshelf as it is definitely a book well worth reading again.