Welcome to THE LAST LECTURE book club About This Page:

[Sandra Bostwick]

OK, Debbie, now I think you are MY twin! Some of the things you posted were SO PERFECT for me to remember at this moment!

[DebiDebiDebi]

Originally Posted by Sandra Bostwick

OK, Debbie, now I think you are MY twin! Some of the things you posted were SO PERFECT for me to remember at this moment!

You're welcome!

[scottjs]

Ok Debi that does it. I gotta go try some Creme Brule!! I keep hearing the name but have no idea what it taste like. Have a great weekend all.

[graygables]

3 things I'm grateful for today:
Hubby is WORKING!
Didn't have to go anywhere.
9yo has slept in her own (new) bed for 2 nights in a row

3 things I've accomplished today:
Cleaned the papers of my desk (HUGE stack...I'm bad!)
Planned/prepped dinner, so no rushing around later.
Got my schoolwork for the day done.

3 challenges (ONLY 3??? )
motivation. I like hiding in my office where it's quiet and I don't have to face the world.
Being overwhelmed. I have SO much to unpack from the trip and just general clutter that has accumulated over the super-busy Summer.
Emotional fatigue. Parenting a child with Asperger's and a child with panic disorder has drained me.

I'm thinking a timer set to do tasks for 15 minutes (a la Flylady) may need to be back in my life.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by graygables

Emotional fatigue. Parenting a child with Asperger's and a child with panic disorder has drained me.

I'm thinking a timer set to do tasks for 15 minutes (a la Flylady) may need to be back in my life.

Oh, my, that is alot on your plate! I work with children with those diagnoses, and, as fun and loveable as they are, you can get pretty tired for sure!

I like your flylady idea.

He everyone! Good to "see" you!

OK, I'm actually keeping the same goals that I had before, since I did not accomplish them all. I did manage to make a nice dent in house organizing. UNfortunately, I've gotten a little bit sidetracked by this puzzle I am working on. It's already 3:00, and I need to pull myself away from this puzzle and do some constructive things, here.

OH! Another goal for today is that I plan to read further in the Last Lecture and post a bit more on that. I like this discussion "in the spirit" of Randy, but I should probably actually read the book, too, ya think?

[Sandra Bostwick]

Hi All,

I've read thru chapter 6 now, and I have to agree with the less than glowing reports from the club members in many ways. So far, the book is far less inspiring than the lecture itself, though it is interesting enough, since he is an interesting guy.

As far as his parents go, I'm not sure I'd say he won the parent lottery, His Mother's comments on his PHD (not the kind of Dr. that helps people) does not impress me at all, and sounds like a pretty insensitive thing to say to a son. The comments in response to the difficult test he took (That Dad was fighting the war in WWII) may have been inspiring, I guess, but it is certainly not validating the difficulties Randy must have gone through to get his degree. If any kid comes to me with a concern, I'll listen before I say "Oh, you should see how hard I had it!" I mean, c'mon, sometimes we all have to wallow in our own self-pity!

I enjoyed the vomit comet story, especially the way he went as a journalist. I like his willingness to really think about how he can get what he wants in spite of how hard it may be.

In both stories, I think I can see the way the author sees the positive side of any circumstance or challenge. I mean, he could easily have said "I had the kind of parents who took me to the circus one time in my childhood, then said no more. WAHHHHHHH!" but he chose to see it as a good lesson in character. I'm also not seeing a whole lot of indication that he came from major money. Actually, I'm seeing that his parents put a great deal of resources into helping others.

Anyway, that's my take on the first few chapters. Anyone have any thoughts? Am I being too rough on him?

[scottjs]

No I don't think your being too rough on him. I was very jealous that he got to ride the Vomit Comet. Thats another fantasy of mine that shall go unfullfilled! I also agree that the book itself is less inspiring then the lecture must have been. But I could see how the book might help some people. I am gonna read it a second time.

[graygables]

Originally Posted by Sandra Bostwick

As far as his parents go, I'm not sure I'd say he won the parent lottery, His Mother's comments on his PHD (not the kind of Dr. that helps people) does not impress me at all, and sounds like a pretty insensitive thing to say to a son.

This actually reminded me of my paternal grandmother. If my Dad had gone on in school, she'd have said the same thing. When I became a teacher, it was b/c I "only wanted to work part time". Now that my Dad's a professor, though, it's a different story and good for a little bragging. She wasn't sure at first what she thought of me going to grad school, but has now decided that not only will I be the first of my family to get a Master's, I'm proving that females are supreme. This is also the woman who insisted that my Dad be called by his full first name, NO nicknames or shortened names for him.

We just know that Granny is Granny and her matter-of-fact, practical, WWII kick-butt mentality is what kept her going when times were hard and propelled my Dad and my aunt along their paths.

I guess I'm just saying that I got her and the relationship.

[graygables]

Originally Posted by DebiDebiDebi

I would suggest that no matter our circumstances, we are all able to live our lives the way we choose.

It all comes down to the Half Empty/Half Full mind set. Privileged or not, we all choose how we live our life. To quote a line from one of my favorite movies (The Shawshank Redemption) we all need to decide if we are going to "Get busy living, or get busy dying." We might have not been delt a winning hand, but, it is all, as Randy suggests "in the way we play the cards".

I've been thinking about this a lot since you posted it. When I hit the 8th grade, I felt very constrained by my surroundings. Up until then, I'd been a free spirit, allowed to learn at my own pace, travelled the world, and read the entire works of Shakespeare when I was 12. I had the opportunity to attend an elite, private, college prep school, but my parents couldn't afford it b/c of my mother's spending habits, so I went to public school where it was a living h-e-double-hockey-sticks for me. I wanted voice lessons, but, again, my mother refused b/c I was only allowed to learn piano (she was a singer and didn't want any competition from me after I'd performed well in contest and talent shows). I was oppressed to the nth degree and the only escape I could see at 19yo was marriage to the first guy who asked. I spent the next several years of my life being abused and trying to break free from that. Alone, with 2 children to raise, again, I was caught struggling to keep my head above water. It just seems like circumstance after circumstance has arisen to smack me back down again. In hindsight, I can see that a lot of it came from my own poor choices (memo to girls: when your Dad is walking you down the aisle saying, "We can go back. I don't care how much money it costs", LISTEN!) but at 19, on the edge of a breakdown from an uber-control-freak mother, I had cards that I simply did NOT know how to play and I blew it. I've been recovering from that gamble ever since.

There are legacies that we are sometimes handed and until we know better, it's very hard to do better. It's taken me many years to be able to examine the cards to decide how to play them. I'm trying to teach my girls that, yes, we have to play the cards we are dealt, but we have to play within the parameters of the game we are given, as well. I'm also trying to teach them that we can't make judgments about others because we can't SEE all their cards and we don't know what they have to play with. I will play my cards differently than someone who has a mentally healthy husband. Because that is one of the rules of MY game, the results will be different. It also reminds me of the "Welcome to Holland" essay about having a child is like planning a trip to Italy, but when the child is born with special needs, you have arrived in Holland. Yes, where I am has its charm and its good things, but seeing people go back and forth to Italy is still very difficult.

I watched The Bucket List tonight and was thinking about this, too. Randy and those 2 characters were given a gift of sorts. They were given TIME to make their nets and dream large. They also had the financial means to do so which is a hard reality in life. Yes, we have a hand of cards, but so does everyone else, and sometimes our dreams can be decimated by their saying, "gin" before we can.

[graygables]

Originally Posted by scottjs

No I don't think your being too rough on him. I was very jealous that he got to ride the Vomit Comet. Thats another fantasy of mine that shall go unfullfilled! I also agree that the book itself is less inspiring then the lecture must have been. But I could see how the book might help some people. I am gonna read it a second time.

While I'm being a post-hog...I was thinking about unfulfilled dreams tonight (The Bucket List really got the gears AND the tears going!). Something I think is important when dreaming is to be realistic. I will never be president, so I won't be jealous of those who are. I will never run a marathon, so I won't be jealous of those who do.

One of my dreams is to sing in the Candlelight Processional. Obviously, I'm not going to just march in and say, "hey, let me sing". I'm going to have to somehow get into the cast choir or one of the guest choirs. IMO, the cast choir is the obvious route. How am I going to make that happen? I need to become a cast member first. I'll need to practice and prepare a piece for the audition. I'll need to sign up as early as possible. All of these things are steps that are within my reach toward my dream. It's not that I'm dreaming small, I'm just dreaming realistically and with deep meaning for my own life. It's late and I hope that makes some sense!

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by scottjs

I was very jealous that he got to ride the Vomit Comet. .

Hey, Scott, it aint over til it's over. You are a young guy...who knows? All they need to do is loosen up the safety straps on Mission Space and POOF! Vomit Comet! I am certain that, in our lifetime, typical people like us will be able to experience a vomit comet float, even if just in virtual simulation, and, I am guessing, Disney may be one of the first places to offer such an attraction.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by graygables

She wasn't sure at first what she thought of me going to grad school, but has now decided that not only will I be the first of my family to get a Master's, I'm proving that females are supreme.

We just know that Granny is Granny and her matter-of-fact, practical, WWII kick-butt mentality is what kept her going when times were hard and propelled my Dad and my aunt along their paths.

I guess I'm just saying that I got her and the relationship.

YOU GO GIRL! Good for you going to grad school. I don't have proof that females are supreme (yet) but I do know that we are NOT second class citizens and we have a right to be as educated, ambitious, free, and career minded as any man.

When I was little, I remember hearing how unfair it was that women were going back into the workforce and taking jobs away from men. Or, I remember hearing that women can have little part-time jobs, but nothing serious. I think some of that attitude comes from old thinking. That may be a nice thought, but it created a whole generation of women who could not compete equally in the marketplace should they need to. That means that they needed to work 40 hours to earn what someone on a career path earns in 20 hours. Sounds to me like THAT would interfere with cooking dinner in the long run! I am so happy that women today are able to feel OK with choosing education and career development along with personal or family priorities. (Sorry, I'm a recovering feminist, and I slip sometimes.)

I really like that you don't take Granny's comments personally, and you can understand where they come from. People generally mean well, and that WWII mentality did change a whole generation of people's thinking.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by graygables

I watched The Bucket List tonight and was thinking about this, too. Randy and those 2 characters were given a gift of sorts. They were given TIME to make their nets and dream large. .

Thanks for that awesome post! The gift Randy and the bucket list characters got, I think, was momentum to use the remaining time well. Maybe just an awareness of how precious time is. Time really is, without a doubt, one of the most valuable resources in accomplishing dreams. Even money doesn't matter as much (look at Paris Hilton) or talent (look at Amy Winehouse) or health.

I constantly struggle with poor use of time or lousy time management. I'm not wishing for a death sentence, but if I knew I had only a few months, so many of the stupid things that fill my day would not matter any more.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by graygables

I will never be president, so I won't be jealous of those who are. I will never run a marathon, so I won't be jealous of those who do.

One of my dreams is to sing in the Candlelight Processional. Obviously, I'm not going to just march in and say, "hey, let me sing". !

WOW! You are inspiring me!

AS far as being president, odds play a factor in realizing dreams. The odds of being President ar pretty slim, even for career politicians. You can certainly go for it, and every election year someone beats those odds and wins, but remember there is a very limited amount of dream passes for that. As far as running a marathon, any one of us could do it. See the utube video below for proof!

YouTube - The strongest Dad in the world

The question is, how hard do you want to work for it.

On the topic of the Candlelight Processional, I believe there are people in Disney who, if you are persistent enough and you beat the odds and run across them, will give you a shot at what you want.

Let me give you one magical example. I spent close to four years attempting to get an on-the-record interview with a disabled Disney cast member. No kidding, I'd write, e-mail, call, it was tough! One day I called my step-daughter, after literally four hours on the phone, and said that was it. I was done. No more wasting my time on that stupid goal. Well, it was that LAST phone call before I said no more that brought a return call from Disney legal dept.. Maybe it was two days after I gave up. If I'd given up one call earlier, I would not have gotten what I wanted! The call from Disney legal is still on my machine after all these years! It felt like a call from Cinderella herself!

After YEARS of being transferred to this or that person and repeating my story, a Disney media fairy granted me a live phone interview with the most enchanting cast member ever. I was able to ask the questions I wanted in the way that brought out the human details and descriptions that I knew were there. To many, that was not such a big thing, but to me, it was the closest I'd come to being a part of Disney. In the big scheme of life, it changed the way I look at everything!

So, alongside of my crippling self-doubts and limiting beliefs, I have PROOF that, sometimes, when the right conditions occur, I can make MAGIC! It is so cool!

The odds of singing in the Candlelight Processional are MUCH better than being president! I'd say go for it! Start now and don't stop until you've exhausted everything. If they say no the first year, come back the next. Look into it! I'll come and see you when you sing!

[DebiDebiDebi]

Originally Posted By Sandra:The question is, how hard do you want to work for it.

My Thoughts Exactly!!!!!!

Agreed, we all have a hand that we are dealt. We may not have any control over the cards we are given, BUT we can decide if we want to keep those cards (make do with what we have), or if we want, we can toss a couple down and ask for more (make the changes we need for success), or we can fold (give up). We all have obstacles, we all have hurdles.
What it comes down to is choice. We can choose to lean on excuses, complain the hurdles are too high, bow out. I think that Randy's birth circumstances are not even the issue...he was given tools by his parents that would work no matter who you are or what your circumstances are; all you have to do is USE the tools.
As for Randy's mother...we all need someone to "keep it real" for us now and again. While these isolated instances he tells us about may come across harsh, I suspect from the tone of his writing, the good his mother inspired in him far outweighed the occasional quirkiness she displayed.