BLINK!!! About This Page:

[Diz]

I was walking by a Barnes and Noble shelf just before vacation and with the blink of an eye I saw the book you have been reading. I scanned it and thought, Why not? And so I took it with me to FL.

Not all the way through - I read 3 different books while there, but am over half-way through.

But I'm catching up with everyone's posts and the questions.

Originally Posted by Sandra Bostwick

The introduction says there are three main objectives:

1: To convince us that decisions made quickly can be as good as those that are made cautiously and deliberately.

2: To be more aware of when we should trust our instincts and when we should be careful of them.

3: To help our snap judgments and first impressions to be more educated and controlled.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! That is a tall order. Do you think achieving those objectives could help you out in everyday life?

I've been catergorized by others as being empathic. And it's true. I totally sense the emotions of those around me. It really makes me see people differently. And it does add an unusual closeness when I first meet someone.

[Diz]

Originally Posted by Sandra Bostwick

I was fascinated by Chapter 1, section 2- discussing the sentiment override, and how positive people will interpret something in an empowering way, while negative people will interpret it in a negative way. It works as a buffer that influences their whole world view. WOW!!!

I knew that intuitively, but I'd never heard it put so well.

I've seen so many situations where sabatoge just takes over and, before you know it, the ball is rolling full speed down hill.

I'd LOVE to know why it seems that the negativity bandwagon is so much louder than the one seeking to make things better.

Has anyone out there seen the same trend?

I have a very difficult time being around inherently negative people. Of course, all of us have good and bad days. But I do believe there are people who never see the brighter things in life.

I try very hard to look for the good in all things. I am a volunteer counselor for a non-profit. Sometimes the client looks at me like I have two heads because I always try to find something positive about their negative situation.

I also think that we have to be careful because I've seen the mob mentality. One strong negative personality can change the tone of a room right before your eyes!

And on the other hand, so can a strong positive one. I love when this one happens! I feel like the positive personality is a cheerleader!

[Diz]

Originally Posted by Sandra Bostwick

Do you stick to your ideal of what you want in a situation? Do you decide to "play the cards in your hand" instead of walking away from the table and choosing a new game? Can you think of a time when you decided to hold out for something more like what you wanted?

Ideals are wonderful. They are goals we set for ourself. But at times, I see ideals as dreams -- something that would be wonderful to experience, but in reality is out of reach unless we take the steps to fulfill that dream. So a lot of people have ideals, but aren't willing to wait or work for them. They are more willing to take what is in from of them - as you said, playing the cards in your hands (in your sight). It's harder to hold out for the dream because that means action and sacrifice on our part.

[Diz]

Okay, something that has always come up in conversation about online posts or instant messaging...

I "feel" the attitude behind the message. There are messages that I say - Wow! What anger!

Have you ever felt that way?

This reminds me of the story on Page 27 and the morse-code fists of the operators.

I get a feeling of one's attitude by the speed of their responses...the words they use (even if they are not negative words - the reading between the lines). I find a lot can be determined by one little message typed to me in a post's response or an instant message. I can even feel when the person is happy or sad just from their words. I'll make a response to a message and the person on the other end will say, "Hey, how did you know".

[emtpej]

Originally Posted by Diz

Okay, something that has always come up in conversation about online posts or instant messaging...

I "feel" the attitude behind the message. There are messages that I say - Wow! What anger!

Have you ever felt that way?

This reminds me of the story on Page 27 and the morse-code fists of the operators.

I get a feeling of one's attitude by the speed of their responses...the words they use (even if they are not negative words - the reading between the lines). I find a lot can be determined by one little message typed to me in a post's response or an instant message. I can even feel when the person is happy or sad just from their words. I'll make a response to a message and the person on the other end will say, "Hey, how did you know".

and then there are the times when you know that someone is thinking about you!

[GoofEme]

I have attempted to make comments onthis thread about the book but seem to second guess everything I type. This is a really thought provoking book. Alot of simple things come to mind; thoughts, memories from my grandmother and mom, on behavior and things that are acceptable or not. Common sense tells us some of the things that researchers spend years to prove. To read findings on something as basic as decision making is, at moments funny and another really profound.
One of my questions through the priming section was: how come, or is it used in social, clinical, and other areas to help people who are in trouble or troubled to help them begin to be more "positive"? Does that make sense? This is definitely a tougher read than the romance novels and other pleasure reading I've done......lol.
I'm sure my brain needs the workout.

[emtpej]

I think it all helps to get us to trust our instincts (ie: use the force) because it has been validated by research. I do believe that attitudes can change over time, especially with better communication. We can also train ourselves to improve our senses.
What I have read so far gives me confidence that I usually make good choices, quickly.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by Diz

I have a very difficult time being around inherently negative people.

Sometimes the client looks at me like I have two heads because I always try to find something positive about their negative situation.

I also think that we have to be careful because I've seen the mob mentality. One strong negative personality can change the tone of a room right before your eyes!

And on the other hand, so can a strong positive one. I love when this one happens! I feel like the positive personality is a cheerleader!

So glad you joined the discussion!

I'm learning that I have no problem at all with negative people if they are my clients because that is my job. In the same building, though, negative peers can really short circuit my thinking. And negative people in relationships make me think RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by Diz

Ideals are wonderful. They are goals we set for ourself. But at times, I see ideals as dreams -- something that would be wonderful to experience, but in reality is out of reach unless we take the steps to fulfill that dream. So a lot of people have ideals, but aren't willing to wait or work for them. They are more willing to take what is in from of them - as you said, playing the cards in your hands (in your sight). It's harder to hold out for the dream because that means action and sacrifice on our part.

I think the points made in this book relate to the way I grab onto ideas, ideals, and dreams.

I just never know where life is going to take me. I've had so many ideas that just managed to fall like seeds onto hard ground and die. Others just blossom into the most surprising projects with the most entertaining rewards.

I am finding that the Blink mentality plays a big part in reaching many of my goals. When I start over-thinking or get bogged down in the details, so many of my plans stall.

When I sort-of go where the wind blows, I end up finding myself in the most unimaginable of places!

I'm hoping this book will help me sharpen those skills for making snap judgments about where to place my hopes, dreams, and energies.

Life is just full of all sorts of entertaining amusement!

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by Diz

Okay, something that has always come up in conversation about online posts or instant messaging...

I "feel" the attitude behind the message. There are messages that I say - Wow! What anger!

Have you ever felt that way?

This reminds me of the story on Page 27 and the morse-code fists of the operators.

I get a feeling of one's attitude by the speed of their responses...the words they use (even if they are not negative words - the reading between the lines). I find a lot can be determined by one little message typed to me in a post's response or an instant message. I can even feel when the person is happy or sad just from their words. I'll make a response to a message and the person on the other end will say, "Hey, how did you know".

Fascinating thoughts!

I've been working on how to "decode" the emotion behind online communication. As a therapist, reading non-verbal cues of body language, tone of voice, or picking up the general "vibe" a person sends out is so important to what I do.

There seem to be subtle cues that come through the keyboard also, that help to make decisions, but it is MUCH harder to pick them up!

I've also noticed, looking back at my posts, I can see when I've been in a silly mood, a playful mood, a serious mood, etc.

I've also noticed how a sentence can be taken in several different ways, which can lead to BIG problems if a thread goes off with one interpretation and, a dozen posts down, the OP has to try and back-pedal to correct the misunderstanding.

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by emtpej

and then there are the times when you know that someone is thinking about you!

Erik, how DID you know I was just thinking about you!

Yes, it is very true!

That is one of the most intriguing Blink experiences...that snap decision that it is time to speak to someone.

It sure is hard to explain that one! I see it so often in calling patterns. I've actually picked up the phone to call people at the exact moment they've been calling me, so we connect before the phone even rings. I'd be waiting for a dial tone, then hear "Sandy??". Now THAT is a strange one! It is also a reality based test, since both people have the phone in-hand as opposed to saying "Oh, I was just about to call you!"

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by GoofEme

I have attempted to make comments onthis thread about the book but seem to second guess everything I type.

To read findings on something as basic as decision making is, at moments funny and another really profound.

One of my questions through the priming section was: how come, or is it used in social, clinical, and other areas to help people who are in trouble or troubled to help them begin to be more "positive"? Does that make sense?

This is definitely a tougher read than the romance novels and other pleasure reading I've done......lol.
I'm sure my brain needs the workout.

First of all, Jamie, second guessing yourself like that robs you of the exact gift that Blink is trying to offer! It is interesting that I always found you to be a confident participant when we were discussing our fiction. Could it be you are doubting yourself because you see this as a more scientific topic? Either way, push through it. There is NO REASON for you to doubt what you have to offer!

I agree that this book is, at times, profound. The reason I bought it was that several people who I highly respect recommended it. During one disaster management class, the instructor actually pulled an exercise from the book. I bought it, but it sat on my shelf for a long, long time because, basically, when I first thumbed through it, it didn't look like a whole lot of giggles.

Now that I am into it, I am having my mind blown at every turn!

Now, the topic of Priming. I've actually been attempting a priming exercise for myself, and I'll invite the group to participate to the degree that they are interested.

I've noticed that there are pockets of doubt and fear in my life, which really do hold me back. Each morning, I've been attempting to prime myself by writing ten empowering words on a card and keeping the card close by. I can actually say that I've made some great progress in a few "stuck" areas, so I think it is working.

I hadn't thought to include the group in that exercise, but your post made me think about what a good idea that would be.

See how much you can contribute?

[Sandra Bostwick]

Originally Posted by emtpej

I think it all helps to get us to trust our instincts (ie: use the force) because it has been validated by research. I do believe that attitudes can change over time, especially with better communication. We can also train ourselves to improve our senses.
What I have read so far gives me confidence that I usually make good choices, quickly.

Dorie brought up the issue of intuition and sensing who someone is online. I knew from your posts, and what I know about your life, that you are confident that way.

Of course, you are an EMT, so that suggests quite a bit as well.

I am very interested in training to improve my senses. I have a strange problem with that, which I think I've mentioned before.

I am always tuned into the gestalt of the situation, and I don't seem to adequately process specifics such as names or, sometimes, even individual faces, without LOTS of repetition.

But, I can feel the "waves" in the room, the tensions between this and that small group, the flow of momentum and resistance to action, the pockets of comfort or awkwardness.

I think it is from all the organizational training I've been doing. I'm forgetting the trees for the forest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am actually trying to train myself back to processing names and individual faces, because I am so often at a loss these days!

[Sandra Bostwick]

Let's keep the discussion free flowing this week. You might reference the chapter or section you are referring to, so we can review while we chat.

This is one AWESOME group!

I've been a little busy with a nasty case of Poison Ivy, but you've all managed to keep the discussion going with great success. Thank you so much!

[GoofEme]

Recently a friend went to the dr., she had been feeling down and having bouts of anxiety, after speaking with her awhile he suggested that she use a positive phrase (just a positive sentence affirming her). She had to read it several times before bed every night and revisit it during times of stress and anxiety. I asked her after a couple of days how she was feeling and she said she couldn't believe what a difference just a few postive words had made in those couple of days. I just remembered this while reading your comments Sandy about your ten empowering words.