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[tjsmom]

Everything was going so well yesterday. I was home on the computer doing some stuff for work. Around lunch I got a phone call from my DS preschool. He has always been such a good little boy, but not anymore. I had to pick him up from preschool for misbehaving. He was sent to the office twice yesterday. He has a new preschool teacher this year. This is his second year in the 4 year old class becauseof his early birthday. I am not impressed with the teacher at all. I know a few of the other children have been moved out of her room because she can not handle them. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] He got in a good bit of trouble when we got home, a firm talking to, and TV and computer gone until I get a good report from school. Well, I am on the computer last night looking at disney stuff and my DH comes up with the great idea that if we get another call from school that we will cancle the disney trip. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] I think that is a horible idea since we will loose money on the flight and all. Nevr tell children you will do something if you can't or wont do it. Please send my child some extra pixie dust. Also somebody please send me the web site to get disney $$$$. I am hoping maybe that will help. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[Caldercup]

I agree - never make a threat you won't keep. If you do that, you'll never regain control.

Unless your DH is serious that he absolutely WILL cancel the trip, he shouldn't even threaten that. I'd tell your son that he won't get any spending money or he won't get souvenirs during the trip -- not that he won't go. That's very intangible to a child that age.

Better yet, make it a positive thing - for every day that he behaves and comes home without incidents, he gets a sticker on the calendar. When you leave for the trip, add up the stickers and give him Disney Dollars -- maybe a quarter per sticker... (That way, he gets to see the stickers, which he'll love putting on the calendar, and then he'll get the final reward.)

Plus, you can remind him that good behavior is rewarded -- each day as you drop him off at preschool, you can talk about it. Show him the stickers, remind him what you expect from him. All that will help build his desire to behave.

And... don't cancel!! Sounds like you'd lose some moolah.

Eileen

[poohmaine]

I think cancelling a family vacation is a very harsh punishment for a child so young. And why should everyone be punished?

And never threaten anything unless you are prepared to follow through. Children pick up on that instantly!

[figmentintime]

I agree...Positive reinforcement seems to work so much better in most cases! Also, with a new teacher, both the children and the teacher are getting adjusted to the change. Just going back to school after a summer off is a huge deal!
Having worked in a preschool setting, I would offer this thought, also...Make an appointment to meet with the teacher asap. Find out what her expectations are, what her priorities are, and how she handles classroom "issues". Ask what you can do to support her room, BUT also let her know what your child's needs are, too. You are your child's only advocate during school, and you have to be there for them!
If there are still issues in, perhaps, a week, make an appointment to discuss this with the Director of the preschool. It is not uncommon for a room switch to occur; just as with adults, not all children and teachers click well together.
I would also make a HUGE deal with your chld about what an enormous help he can be, helping children who have not been in that room before. Let him know that you are proud of even the littlest things, and see if he doesn't start doing more and more to get that response!
I have 4 of my own! Good Luck!!

[figmentintime]

Oh! I just had an idea!! What about if a Fairy GOdmailer was to send a special card from his favorite character, telling him how proud they are about how well he is doing in school! That might be a HUGE motivator!

[QueenMum]

Oy boy, I've been through this a lot. Take heart, you're not the only one. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

My daughter is an *extreme* handful. I think she's related to Donald's nephews. Some teachers are good at handling her while others just don't know what to do. In either case, I've made it clear to any of my daughter's teachers that I am more than willing to work with them to resolve the situation to best help my daughter. At summer camp this year they had to call me because she was misbehaving. After a trip to her school and a stern talking to, plus reminding her that Mickey and Minnie would be *very* dissapointed if she wasn't a good listener, really helped. Cancelling the trip won't help and is extremely harsh. But giving as much positive reinforcement and letting your DS know that <insert favorite Disney character here> would be very proud if he did well in school, works wonders.

You can get Disney Dollars at any Disney Store. As a matter of fact, I'm going during my lunch break today to get the weekly 'Disney Dollar' allowance for our December WDW trip.

[MadHatchers]

I have a 4 year old too, so it is challenging. I find the vacation is the only time we can spend as a family without the disctractions of jobs and housework, so I feel like the vacation should not be cancelled. My daughter was missing for about a month, replaced with a child who I did not recognize at all. Maybe it's a phase, maybe he is on the verge of an emotional milestone. I am going to WDW saturday, I would send post card to encourage good behavior. PM me and what you would like it to say. Hang in there...terrible 2s had NOTHING on my daughters Fussy 4s.

jodie

[krisk11]

I agree with everyone else that you should never threaten something that you have no intention of doing. It makes you look weak and you never regain the edge with your kids. My mom gave me that bit of advice when my dd was young and I tried to stick with it. Plus I have watched it back fire with my next door neighbor. Use positive reinforcement and be very patient.

[millerwdwfans]

[ QUOTE ]
just as with adults, not all children and teachers click well together.


[/ QUOTE ]
I think that line nails it right there. For some reason it just seems like every child has to have that ONE teacher at some point in their school years. Unfortunatly your DS had to get it preschool. My DS was in 2nd grade when he had his and my DD had hers in 4th. Both of my children got nothing but praise for their good behavior every other year of school and nothing but trouble in their one bad year. You know a child that is normally well behaved is not going to just decide "I'm going to be a troublemaker this year." So you know there is more to it.
I think your DS is probably going to need the trip for a nice break [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] Also figmentintime had a wonderful idea about the FairyGodmailer. I hope someone can do that for you as you are close to your trip date. I also think it sounds like this little guy may need [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] continued through the year. I know, I've been around this block twice. I'll gladly be a FairyGodmailer for him in March. We always send home postcards from characters to nieces & nephews anyway. We'll just add him to our list. Give him a hug.

[Teresa]

Don't reward him for behaving or mibehaving with anything you can't do all the time.

Say you give him extra spending money at WDW for being good for the next 2 weeks. What do you do for the rest of the year?

I agree with giving him an incentive to behave well. Say, a cookie after dinner for each good day, or a special game with mom and dad at the end of a good week.

Other than that, if this teacher can't handle him, make sure HE's doing what he needs to and it's not just a teacher thinking that if a 4 or 5 yr. old won't sit, he's hyper and ADD (something I don't really buy into). If it appears that the teacher is at fault, I'd take my Ds out of her class.

[schroadmol]

[ QUOTE ]
I agree...Positive reinforcement seems to work so much better in most cases! Also, with a new teacher, both the children and the teacher are getting adjusted to the change. Just going back to school after a summer off is a huge deal!
Having worked in a preschool setting, I would offer this thought, also...Make an appointment to meet with the teacher asap. Find out what her expectations are, what her priorities are, and how she handles classroom "issues". Ask what you can do to support her room, BUT also let her know what your child's needs are, too. You are your child's only advocate during school, and you have to be there for them!
If there are still issues in, perhaps, a week, make an appointment to discuss this with the Director of the preschool. It is not uncommon for a room switch to occur; just as with adults, not all children and teachers click well together.
I would also make a HUGE deal with your chld about what an enormous help he can be, helping children who have not been in that room before. Let him know that you are proud of even the littlest things, and see if he doesn't start doing more and more to get that response!
I have 4 of my own! Good Luck!!

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with Figment! Sometimes a child and teacher don't match. Sometimes you have preschool teachers who have no business being preschool teachers- I have also seen 1st year teachers who believe they have to be hard nosed from the very beginning and have no idea how to work with 4 year olds. And it really does take a special person to deal with 4 year olds!!

I would schedule a conference with her immediately and figure this out. And actually, she should be calling you to help figure this out, especially if what he has done was bad enough to warrant going to the office for.

But like everyone else, don't cancel the trip. How about for every good day he has he gets 1 Disney Dollar to spend on vacation.

Poor guy [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] pixie dust that things get better!

[disneygramma]

As a teacher of many years, and now a supervising teacher for our local public school system, I have to reiterate that you should not cancel a trip due to behaviors at school. First remember that school has just begun and give the teacher and your child time to adjust. Also you may wish to have a conference with the teacher (and you are within your rights to request that a school counselor, or the principal/director be present for the conference), go in open minded. You state that there are problems suffered by other children and there have been moves made, could you ask that your child also be moved? Especially if this is the second year that your child is in this same classroom. I send you pixies for good luck. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]

[BethC]

I agree with all of the above. Don't cancel your trip. It's a family vacation. Good Luck [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]

[DISNEYGOOF]

Wow, are you talking about the trip in 14 days? If it were me I wouldn't cancel a trip over a 4 year olds behavior. To me that would be a heavy load for him knowing he caused his family to cancel their vacation. [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/luck.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/zwavin.gif[/img]