An Amazing Journey: Ch. 5 -- The Wait About This Page:

[Jennifer Marx]

The Wait



Three weeks stretched before me until the end of the first trimester, my next goal. I felt that if I could reach that, then my chances for miscarriage would drop and I’d feel I was firmly in the realm of “normal pregnancies.” I theorized that anything bad that happened after this point would be something unexpected, and probably not related to PCOS. The time seemed to drag on. I kept myself busy by educating myself on pregnancy, reading message boards, and pushing myself to work a little more and more each day. I should also note I was still taking the Glucophage, which I’d been instructed to do until the end of the first trimester – research has shown it can helps PCOS patients with miscarriage.



One day, around 10 weeks, I woke up “feeling funny.” I had this incredibly strong sense that something was wrong. I waited it out, to see if it would go away, but instead it kept getting stronger. I consulted with some other pregnant women on a message board, and they suggested I call my doctor. I did, and the midwife asked that I come in that afternoon. She used a handheld Doppler (an ultrasound device) to try to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, to reassure me things were okay. But she couldn’t find the heartbeat! She tried for 10 minutes without luck. As a result, I left the office feeling even more concerned that a Bad Thing had happened.



As it happened, I’d already rented a Doppler to use at home. So the following day, I tried on my own. There was still no heartbeat to be heard. Being a relentless person, though, I tried again that evening and… I FOUND IT! The baby was still alive! The Bad Thing was all in my head, probably the result of those pesky pregnancy hormones. I recorded it and had Dave listen.



I had another ultrasound around 11 weeks, and I was amazed at the growth. Here’s the scan:







You can actually see the head and body in this scan. What you can’t see here is how much it was moving around, even swimming, while the doctor was scanning. It was pretty incredible. I couldn’t feel it at this point, but seeing it on the screen brought a tear to me eye. It seemed so real!



A couple of days after this we went to Walt Disney World to check out Pop Century. During that trip, I began to notice that many of my pregnancy symptoms were diminishing. I’d read in one of my books that this can be a sign of an impending miscarriage, and I began to fret again. Do you see a pattern here? I’m a big worry wart, and being pregnant has only made me worse. Dave reassures me that he’s confident everything is okay, and I try to believe him. I realize that if I keep thinking everything will go wrong, then I won’t enjoy anything—and then what’s the point? I’ll feel bad anyway if something goes wrong, so I resolve to relax a bit. But I am still anxious to reach the end of my first trimester… it’s only a few days away at this point.



At long last, the end of the first trimester arrived. I didn’t have a doctor’s appointment to help me verify that I was still pregnant, but the Doppler gave me a heartbeat. WHEW! My sigh of relief must have been audible in Ohio. I finally allowed myself to believe that this might actually happen… and I might become a Mom! Of course, ever the pessimist, I remembered that someone important to us had inexplicably lost a baby at 13 weeks, and that it really can happen at any time during pregnancy. But it was definitely getting easier to believe.



[Read the next chapter.]

[RaySharpton]

<font color="blue"> ºoº Oh my goodness, Jennifer. You almost gave me a Heart attack. My heart dropped to the floor when I read that your midwife confirmed that you had no heart beat. ºoº

ºoº And it is pretty cool that you actually rented a doppler ultrasound machine to use at home. I've really never known anyone to do this. Good for you. And good for you that you were persistent. But I hope that you don't scare me anymore. ºoº

ºoº On to Chapter 6. ºoº

ºoº Sincerely, ºoº Ray ºoº </font>

poker casino poker 634