An Amazing Journey: Ch. 11 -- Verklempt (or Overcome with Emotion) About This Page:

[Jennifer Marx]

Verklempt (Overcome with Emotion)



Yesterday was our Big Announcement day, when we told the “world” about baby Alexander’s impending arrival. I had a lot of fun throwing together the little announcement web pages, and I was excited about the prospects of having our “secret” finally out and about. And yet, nothing in my wildest dreams prepared me for the incredibly loving, warm, and affectionate wave of sentiment that poured towards us from our community, friends, and family. It was like getting a massive group hug from people around the world. Or like that feeling I get on Christmas morning when I’m surrounded by way too many presents and, more importantly, my family and loved ones. After reading literally hundreds of “congratulations!” and well wishes received in our e-mail, on the web page, and in The Nursery forum (I count upwards of 400 at the moment!), I found my eyes brimming over with tears and my heart bursting with joy. I’m not the sort to say something so mushy, but I must thank you all for your love, kindness, and support. It means more to me than I am capable of expressing in words.



I must also thank you for helping us to include Allie in this entire hullabaloo. So many of you included her specifically in your congratulations, for which I am most appreciative. I got my sibling when I was just a toddler and I barely remember the event – getting a sibling at 11 must be a much, much different ball of wax. Please continue to include her, and we’ll make sure she sees it. I am always searching for ways to make her a part of this adventure -- it’s difficult as she doesn’t live with us. If anyone out there has suggestions for me, I’d love to hear them. Her feelings matter a great deal to me and to Dave, and we want this to be a positive experience in her life.



Speaking of feelings, Alexander’s “thumpings” continue to grow stronger and I feel them more often. It’s very, very reassuring to feel him kick, roll, and poke me (though at this point I’m only guessing he’s doing such interesting things – I can’t actually interpret his thumpings into anything meaningful). I haven’t had to pull out the Doppler to check for a heartbeat with all this movement. It’s really a wonderful feeling. (Ok, maybe it’s slightly creepy if I step back and think about it – shades of Alien and such – but I’m getting used to it.) He seems most active in the evenings, which is also one of my more active times. I’ve always been a night person (just ask my poor Mom!).



Tonight we went to the baby store to look at furniture. Like my feelings, all this “baby stuff” is completely overwhelming. There’s so much stuff! And while I thought I’d feel better about buying things after my amniocentesis results came in, the truth is I still feel very hesitant to purchase anything at all. So, for now, I’ll just visit the baby stuff palace and gawk at all the paraphernalia. Perhaps I’ll get that infamous “nesting urge” at some point and decide to actually take something home.



All in all, I’m feeling… well… as Dave would say it, “I’m all verklempt.” (If you don’t know what that means, don’t feel bad – I didn’t until I met Dave, oh, almost nine years ago now. And if you do know it, you get a big blue star!) Verklempt is Yiddish for “overcome with emotion.” That’s me in a nutshell.

[debe]

I still can't say it enough how thrilled I am for all of you. Your adventure's are only begining

I am sure you remember reading some of my postings on the "dread" of becoming a GRANDMA (just sounded so old! LOL) but have to say, I LOVE IT something about babies that warm your heart...

Our granddaughter Hannah has a big sister too (just like Alexander). Amanda is 16 yrs older and has been the only child up until little Hannah's arrival. When we first learned of the new addition, I told Debbie (Shawn's GF) that they are going to have to find ways to include Amanda as she doen't need to feel left out. Some of our suggestions was to include Amanda in on baby room setup (such as decor items, furniture, etc...). She also helped pick out clothing, wrote out thank you's, had camera duty (some of her photos were quite nice!), she has made a scrapbook photo album. Amanda has several of the "Big Sister" items like Allie's teddy bear .

When Allie comes for a visit, you could teach her how to change a diaper, show her basic care (she more than likely will be a "little mother" ) I would have her do anything you think she can handle or help out in preparation of Alexander's arrival (this will make her feel very important). The biggest thing of all is letting her know she is special & will always be your little girl, no matter how old she gets!!!! Our kids are 24 & 26, and we still tell them this.

You can also have "Let's pamper Allie day" were you take her out for the day. Maybe a salon day where she can have her hair styled, nails trimmed/shaped etc.. ), lunch at a favorite spot, see a movie or a show, etc...

Allie is going to love being the "Big Sister" or is that "Little Mother" Amanda has a hard time keeping her hands off Hannah.

[Mel & Richard]

When my sister was pregnant I threw her small party (separate from her big shower) with all the family members that might be taking care of the baby at some point. It was just a dinner, but the surprise was I had an EMS person come in and teach everyone how to do baby CPR. It was actually a big hit. Thankfully no one ever needed to use it.

Maybe you could do something similar with Allie, designed around how to help care for baby brother when he arrives. They might even offer some sort of mini class in her or your area.

Mel

[karmic]

When I had my first child my step daughter was almost 7. I had the same feelings as you about wanting her to feel included in our new little family. That was 17 years ago and I will say that it is not always easy. We usually only saw her on Sundays so we always tried to make those special family times. We always made sure that we decorated the Christmas tree with her and made sure she was included in all special events. Having a good relationship with her mother is key. She is now almost 24 and is fairly close to my son and daughter who are now 17 and 15.

[Belle*]

In case I haven't said it enough to everyone - Mazel Tov!! Allie is going to love being a big sister and she's going to be a great one, you can already tell.

As for the baby stuff, it's amazing isn't it? My Father alwasy says he's amazed any of us lived to adulthood without all this safety stuff! (Usually while doing this as my mother and I buy yet another thing I never had and never needed. ) Keep it simple - newborns really don't need all that much except you and diapers at first! A lot of my Jewish friends don't buy ANYTHING until the baby comes as it's considered bad luck. The whole family goes on a major shopping spree once the baby is born before they get home!! I'm a compulsive planner so I couldn't do it but I can appreciate the sentiment behind it.

Continued for your growing family!

[SarahJ]

You're right Jenn, all the baby stuff is definitely overwhelming. I'm struggling with what I think I will need now that were expecting number two!

As for involving Allie, I think its wonderful you want to include her so much. Alot of blended families forget that the older siblings are going through a big change when a new baby comes into the family. For you and Dave, its especially hard since Allie doesn't live too close. How about having her come down for a long weekend and helping to decorate the nursery. Chances are she might have some great ideas and would be a big help with any painting or other things. How about taking her to the baby stuff store and seeing what she thinks the baby would need.

Anyway, congrats again to all of you. What an exciting adventure you've begun, enjoy it!

Congratulations to Allie, Dave and Jennifer!!! It is so wonderful to read your story. Jennifer, don't be too concerned about your worrying about the baby. It won't last forever...I hear it stops when they reach 30 or something!! I had lost a son between my youngest daughters and I worried constantly. The portable dopplers weren't too available back in 94 and a trick my doctor taught me was to count the movements. It's an easy way to keep track of how the baby is doing (but don't panic towards the end - they tend to run out of room and don't move much!! ) Just wait til he gets the hiccups!! If you think they are annoying when you have them, just wait!! It is the most unusual feeling in the world!!

Welcome to the world little Alexander!

[Disneyphile's Wife]

I can't resist another "Congratulations" to the three of you. I don't have any good suggestions for including Allie except to ask her what SHE'D like to do to include her.

I also have to tell a story on myself. When I saw the "New Edition" banner at the top of the page, I suspected what it might mean. However, the ultrasound picture confused me: I kept trying to make it a mother/child animal picture! I'll admit, those ultrasound pictures do look a little like aliens.

The outpouring you've received doesn't suprise me a bit; it's the reason I frequent this board and not any of the others. With a few, very rare, exceptions, this is a warm loving place on the 'net.

More for a healthy, happy, quiet pregnancy.

Congratulations! I just read all 11 chapters, and I, too was almost brought to tears. We just had our last baby (#4) 7 months ago. Pregancy, birth (even c-sections), and that newborn period are such a miraculous time! My only advice (and you can take it or leave it), is that if you plan on nursing Alexander try to become informed before he is here (especially of how to overcome problems that may come up). Things didn't go too well nursing my first son, so while I was pregnant with my second son I went to La Leche League meetings and got lots more info and support. My next three children nursed great because I better knew how to overcome any problems that we encountered. Best wishes!

Jen24ks

[CRCrazy]

Another repeat congratulations here - you are doing such a wonderful job keeping up your high spirits and still being careful and loving with Allie!

I understand completely how difficult it is to overcome that fear that something will happen if you give in to being happy, or buy something for the baby.

We lost several pregnancies before we finally had Amanda, and I considered her truly a miracle baby! Jennie followed soon after with no troubles - then we had a six and a half year gap - and two more losses - before Sarah arrived!

We were very careful to keep Amanda (8) and Jennie (6) involved at every step, so they would feel involved with their little sister, without feeling pushed aside. That said, I certainly did not want them there during the birth - some things are better left unseen! One of my most precious memories, and one that we have on film, is of Jennie meeting her new baby sister for the very first time. She sat in the big wooden nursing rocker in my hospital room, and very confidently accepted this new little sleeping baby into her lap. She snuggled her close, and very quietly, without realizing anyone was watching, softly sang lullabies to this very new sister.

I knew it would be okay after that! Even through all the sibling rivalry, that is part of life, that bond can never be broken!

Enjoy this time of preparation, and remember, with so much love and pixie dust, you, Dave, Allie, and Alexander will be a family in heart as well as in name!

[tigger536]

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you and Dave! Thank you for sharing your happy news!
Jacquelyn

[graygables]

More congratulations from our family! My oldest was 10 and 2nd was 8 when I was pg with my 3rd DD and she was a 1/2 sister, but we never even mentioned it, in fact, my 18yo was just filling out college aps and it occured to her that my youngest 2 are 1/2 sisters and asked how to put it down!

That said, we had lots of "dates". It was the perfect time to answer birds and bees questions. They went to ultrasounds with me, too. Especially girls at this age are fascinated by the process (and frightened by it some), so including them is so important! I let my DDs help with decorating the nursery and they each made individual items with their own touch (artwork, quilt, crochet, etc) Toward the end of the pg, they helped me prepare their favorite meals for the freezer and make "cookie balls" that we froze and they could easily bake for themselves a few at a time. After my DD3 was born, my 10yo made Easter dinner all by herself (a little help from DH) and she was soooo proud of herself and glad to have helped. Also, before I delivered, we had a "spa day" where we went and had manicures and pedicures together, got our hair done, etc...very "girly" and lots of fun.

Make sure you answer any questions Allie may have, and let her feel Alexander kick frequently...that was a huge bonding time for my DDs!

Again, congratulations, and I'm verklempt myself! Tawk amongst yourselves...I'm going to get some cawfee!

[OffKilter_Lynn]

Aren't pregnancy hormones GREAT?!?!

Laughing one minute, bawling your eyes out the next! Here's some pixie dust for DAVE ~*~*~*~*~*~



as he's gonna need some too!

Here's your list of "keeps" for the day:

1. keep us informed (we just love 'sharing' this with you! Your details are fabulous!)
2. keep sharing our best wishes with Allie!
3. keep your sense of humor (even when you won't be able to see your feet!) and speaking of feet....
4. keep your feet up! Take care of yourself!

[Wendyismyname]

Jennifer, Dave, Allie,

I think it's just wonderful! I can't say that enough! I sent your page to my cousin who also experienced the same conditions as you and the same meds and such.

It's very overwhelming looking at all that baby stuff!!

My DD was very active in the womb and kept doing somersaults when I least expected it.

Thank you for including us in your wonderful journey.

[Jennifer2003]

[ QUOTE ]
Verklempt

[/ QUOTE ]



I learned what this word meant thanks to the great Mike Meyers on Saturday Night Live..."talk amoungst yourselves, I'll give you a topic...Rhode Island is neither a road, nor an island...discuss!"



LOVE IT!!



Allie will have a great time being a big sister!!! Are you having a baby shower? Will it be at a time she's able to come visit? If so, she can be a "special helper" or something that day!



Best Wishes!

Jennifer