An Amazing Journey: Ch. 14 -- School Daze and School Knights About This Page:

[Jennifer Marx]

School Daze and School Knights



[This baby update is mostly written by Dave, as Jennifer has found herself a little busy lately.]



As you may imagine (and certainly know having read all these reports), Jennifer and I rarely go into anything unschooled or unprepared. So once Baby Alexander was into his second trimester, Jennifer started researching childbirth classes. And since if one class is good, two must be better, we wound-up enrolled in a virtual Doctoral Program in Baby Birthing. Does that make us PhBs?



There are at least two sides to every issue, and even more when it comes to childbirth. So we’ve been taking classes in two different childbirth methods – the old standby, Lamaze, and the Bradley Method of Husband Assisted Childbirth. What’s the difference? It depends who you ask, as there’s a bit of ideology involved. However, don’t depend upon everything you hear. In the case of our Lamaze and Bradley instructors, there seems to have been a bit of healthy convergence between the two approaches. Common sense seems to be winning the day. More on these two courses later in this update.



Ever eager to learn more, we signed up for several more short courses – a two-hour childcare class, a two-hour breastfeeding class, a three-hour “Boot Camp for Expectant Dads,” three hours of “Basic Training for New Moms,” a half-hour tour of our hospital’s existing birthing center and a one-hour open house at the hospital’s soon-to-be-open brand-spankin’ new birthing center. If Alexander stays true to his due date, then we’ll be in the new birthing center and Jennifer may even get one of the rooms with a Jacuzzi tub.



Altogether, this adds up to over 30 hours of classroom time, plus countless hours of study, practice, and exercises. Between Bradley and Lamaze we’ve learned a dozen-and-a-half different positions for labor, two styles of breathing, viewed (and analyzed) at least a half-dozen different births-on-video, practiced deep relaxation and massage, and exercised every muscle between waist and knee. We know the pros and cons of every kind of birthing medication and medical procedure (including four different ways of performing an episiotomy)…. And I could go on for several more paragraphs.



As I was sitting in tonight’s “Boot Camp” it was clear that these three hours was all the training some of these expectant dads had, or were likely to get. Still, they were way ahead of the game compared to those who have no classes at all. Meantime, I was silently castigating myself for not having already memorized the length of contractions and spacing between contractions that characterize the various key points in labor (something you can't learn in a three-hour course). While I know that our way is hardly the only way (and perhaps not even the best way), it feels so right to know that I won’t just be a spectator at my son’s birth, but an active participant.



I’ll be looking after Jennifer to make sure she drinks and eats during labor - she needs her strength for the hard work, and dehydration can require a switch to intravenous feeding, and that IV can slow labor, requiring medication to speed things up again. I’ll be there to massage and relax her between contractions so she can marshal her strength. I’ll be knowledgeable in all the many medical decisions we may have to face, and to advocate our chosen path whenever practical. I know how to support her when she’s pushing, and can suggest alternate labor positions if she’s having a rough time. And, yeah, I’ll have the camera ready for the big moment when baby finally arrives if I’m not too busy helping Jennifer over the last big hump. And this is just barely scratching the surface.



So what about Lamaze and Bradley? For those who want to know more, here's the scoop:



We signed-up for Lamaze through the local community college. Registration was so poor that the college dropped the course and put us directly in contact with the instructor. We ended-up sharing five, two-hour classes with one other couple. What’s Lamaze (as we see it)? The common perception of Lamaze Method is, breathe, breathe, breathe. The original Lamaze breathing method was intended to distract mothers from the discomfort of labor contractions. It also was shown to contribute to hyperventilation, which turned out to be bad for mom and baby, so now breathing “lessons” don’t figure all that prominently (at least in our classes). We learned a lot about the physiology of childbirth – the changes to mom’s body, the stages of labor, and so on. We covered the various postures for labor, relaxation techniques, and the many decisions we’d have to face in the hospital. We learned about the more common forms of medical treatment (or intervention, depending on your viewpoint) – anesthesia, inducement, Caesarian Section, hospital birth room procedures…. It’s a very good introduction to what every family should know about hospital deliveries. Our instructor was excellent. She communicated frankly and clearly, was very knowledgeable, and left us feeling very well-taught.



On to Bradley Method. Bradley Method claims to be the first (modern) approach to natural childbirth, going back more than 20 years. (We learned about the Bradley Method from one of our PassPorter readers -- thanks, Kim!) This is the most intensive of our courses - eight, 2.5 hour sessions (20 hours) - twice as long as Lamaze. The basic philosophy (as we see it) is that, while physicians and hospitals can be life savers during difficult births, the “routine” procedures used at “normal” births can lead to many avoidable and unnecessary problems. While it’s not possible to simply “let nature take its course” (as we don’t have the necessary instincts), with training for the parents and support from the birth attendants (including doctors), most mothers can give birth without routine anesthesia, IV, episiotomy, continuous fetal monitoring or Caesarian Section, and end up with a healthier baby, a healthier mom and a far more satisfying birth experience. Anyway, that’s the theory. Naturally, we hear plenty of stories of how well Bradley Method births turn out, so who wouldn’t want to try? On the other hand, it’s a whole lot more work than just showing up at the hospital and letting the staff take over.



A typical Bradley analysis of hospital procedures goes something like this: Mothers need to be fed and well-hydrated during childbirth, as mom needs her strength and dehydration leads to various problems during labor (so far, so good – this is a Mom and Apple Pie sort of principle). But, moms sometimes vomit during labor, so to avoid the mess that occasionally comes from eating and drinking, most hospitals automatically put mom on an intravenous feeding (IV) [moms don’t get general (mask-over-face) anesthesia these days, so the biggest risk from vomiting – inhaling and drowning in her vomit while "under" - isn’t the risk it used to be]. IV tends to slow-down childbirth (the fluid dilutes the blood, reducing the supply of the hormones that stimulate labor). Hospitals like to stay on schedule, so they take steps to speed the labor they slowed with the IV, by administering various drugs. The drugs have side-effects for mom and baby, so additional medical interventions are necessary, leading to further complications.… From the Bradley viewpoint, “routine” hospital childbirth is a sort of domino effect that almost inevitably leads to a long list of medical procedures (including far too many Caesarian deliveries) that wouldn’t have been necessary had the parents been properly trained in natural childbirth methods and the doctors and hospital staffs willing to cooperate. In the same breath (Bradley was a doctor, after all), we learn about all the possible complications and the beneficial medical procedures doctors can use to save the day.



Of course, none of our parents or siblings have experience with Bradley Method, and when we tell folks we're going to try "natural childbirth," we're often met with skepticism. But we don't mind. There's no harm in trying, right? And in truth, the Bradley classes have taught us so much more than just "natural childbirth" procedures. We both feel significantly more confident and positive about the pregnancy and birth, and a good attitude is worth its weight in gold.



From Jennifer: You may have noticed that part of the title of this update is "School Knights." Well, I think Dave is my knight in shining armor when it comes to all this childbirth stuff. He's really gotten involved in the classes, helping me to eat right for me and our baby, encouraging me with his positive attititude, and practicing the childbirth relaxation exercises with me nearly every night. Sometimes I'm just amazed -- Dave really is becoming my coach in every sense of the word. It's wonderful, and I feel better than ever about this pregnancy. And I'm really not at all scared about delivery -- I think everything is going to work out just fine.



As for my health, I'm feeling great. I think my positive attitude is helping. My blood pressure is excellent, my weight gain is appropriate, and Alexander appears to be growing on target. I'm having problems sleeping, and ocassionally I feel really big and uncomfortable -- but usually I'm surprised at how good I do feel at this stage. The doctor is monitoring me carefully due to that early case of high blood pressure (and I'm still on meds), but as I haven't had a relapse into high blood pressure since I went on the medication, I'm feeling very positive all around. Let's hope it stays that way!

[statelady01]

This little boy is a very lucky baby indeed- glad to hear things are moving right along and continued best wishes for all of you!

[disneyknut]

Thanks for the updates Dave (& Jennifer) It is nice to read that you are going into baby Alexanders birth with many open ideas..
Babies have a way of dictating what THEY want to do & that starts in-utero... I was told by my Doctors that I would deliver early with all 3 of my children & all 3 were 8 days LATE!!
Wishing you both the best of luck in this final home stretch.. Jenn.. have any nesting urges yet? I remember waking up at 3am to organize my dish cabinets when I was pregnant with my 3rd..

[ilovelilo]

Thank you both so much for the update! I'm glad everything is going well and I hope it continues to! Good luck!

[Dave Marx]

[ QUOTE ]
Jenn.. have any nesting urges yet? I remember waking up at 3am to organize my dish cabinets when I was pregnant with my 3rd..

[/ QUOTE ]

Let me answer this one. Yes, yes, and yes! We've made changes to nearly every room in the house, including our office! Every day brings more packages of this and that that Jennifer has picked up on eBay, and we're not finished yet! The place sure is looking good!

[DopeyGirl]

Won't be long now and the next "PassPorter" will be here!!! I meant the baby, not the book . . .



I am really glad to see that you are so active in the classes and learning about everything involved with childbirth, Dave . . . there are so many fathers out there who don't know anything and then by the time baby comes along, they are just lost. I have known a lot of guys who just didn't want to take the time to learn anything about the birth of their children . . . some that had the attitude of "I'm not the one having the baby, why should I care?". I am just glad there are dads like you who are so involved in everything!!!



Jennifer, get plenty of rest now and enjoy as much "mommy" time as you can!!! Relax and put your feet up . . . you deserve it!!!

[graygables]

Dave, I'm proud of you! You are really just one cool guy (my DH is handing you a "Dad-guy card" ) for going through all that training and learning so much. It will definitely be worth it all in just a few months! Just remember, though, that sometimes all the breathing, ice chips, and concentration go flying out the window and Jennifer may practice the "Primal Scream" right in your ear and make you forget every single thing you've learned and you may just stand there in awe while Alexander makes his debut...can ya tell we've been there before?

It sounds like you two are doing great, remember we all love you and send prayers and pixie dust every day!

[chezp]

Thanks for the update - it's great to know that things are going well for you both and good for you Dave - going to all those classes. I love the title of the "Boot Camp for Expectant Dads", excellent title! I bet some of the guys on it wondered what they were getting themselves into!

Continued best wishes to both of you - take care and look after yourselves and each other.

[moinab]

I've been lurking for a while, enjoying the stories following your pregnancy. Thank you for sharing the experience!

Have you considered using a doula for the birth? As well prepared as we were for our DS's birth, once we got into the LDRP room, we were a bit overwhelmed. For DD's birth, we used a doula, and she was absolutely wonderful! It's like having a Bradley instructor with you in the room. She in no way diminished the experience for DH, but in fact worked as an assistant to both of us. I was able to have the unmedicated, intervention-free birth I had hoped for.

Congratulations and good luck!

Maureen

[MegglesMom]

Dave, I wish my DH was this involved with our upcoming birth! We're the exact opposite of you guys... bring on the IVs, the epidural, etc. More power to you guys! I can't wait to read all about the birth...

[ripkensnana]

Congrats again, you guys! It's simply great that Dave is doing everything in his power to make this birth a truly joyous occasion for everyone concerned. When I was having my kids, Dads weren't allowed in the delivery room (that "new" phase of delivery was just being introduced, and hadn't caught on here in the stodgy Midwest). It would have been so nice to have someone familiar in there - besides the doctor! Lamaze was a new thing also, so again, wasn't available everywhere. It's amazing, the changes that have come about in just 40-odd years!

[DreaminDizney1002]

What a wonderful update! Thank you so much for providing all of the detailed information on the Bradley Method. DH and I are ready for children but I am quite fearful of childbirth....mostly all of the medical procedures involved (IVs, epidurals, etc.). It's good to know that there are other options available. Best of luck to you both! Baby Alexander is so lucky to have two very involved parents!

[mac]

I'm glad to hear all is going well with the three of you !

[Colexis Mom]

thanks for the update Jennifer and Dave Glad to hear that things are moving along just fine

[Bellebud]

dave, jennifer and allie,

just wanted to second someone else's post that a doula would be such a great addition to your classes and your wanting and trying for a natural childbirth. we took bradley classes during my first pregnancy and had a doula also. we were so happy with the doula. she really helped us stay at home much, much, much (i can't stress that enough) longer than we would have been comfortable with ourselves during labor. We didn't have as "natural" as we wanted, due to various circumstances (and we were like you guys - very open minded about everything and just trying our best to do natural but would certainly listen to the doctors there too), but we were so happy we had our doula and our bradley training (and i could have used more training, and some breastfeeding training beforehand as well... good for you guys!) You can never be too informed! and i know what you mean about running into some opposition about bradley... my mom never stopped BEGGING me to just take all the drugs i could.

oh, a suggestion that popped into my mind while reading your update... set up an extra video camera on a tripod in the corner of the room and just let it run the whole time (maybe on the same side of the room as jennifers head, so she's not feeling too "exposed" ... you can edit after and have a great birth movie. just bring lots of tapes and extra batteries.

good luck and so glad everything's going so well!

Liz