An Amazing Journey: Ch. 23 -- In the Blink of an Eye (Five Week Update) About This Page:

[Jennifer Marx]

In the Blink of an Eye



Blink. Five weeks have whizzed by in the blink of an eye. Today Alexander is five weeks old -- I almost can't believe so much time has past. And yet when I look back on all that's happened, it's hard to believe so much has happened in in so little time. Where do I begin?



At Alexander's first pediatrician appointment, just a day after our discharge from the hospital, we received a bit of bad news. Alexander was continuing to lose weight. Most babies lose weight after birth, but then regain it within a week. He'd dropped from 9lb. 4oz. at birth to 8 lb. 14 oz. upon discharge. The next day, he was down to 8 lb. 6 oz. Ack! Three days later he was down to 8lb. even. You can imagine our concern. To our pediatrician's credit, he did not alarm us nor tell us we were doing something wrong. Instead, he encouraged us to keep up with the breastfeeding and supplement him with just a bit more formula. So we upped the amount of formula we fed him after each nursing session, and we fed him by cup (a one-ounce plastic "dosage" cup) instead of bottle so as not to confuse him with differently-shaped nipples. Cup feeding a tiny baby is not an easy task, as the formula tends to dribble down his front and there's a lot of spitting up and air-swallowing. We were sorely tempted to use a bottle, let me tell you! But we persevered.





Alex crosses his eyes at the thought of another cup-feeding



During this time, I began to notice that my post-delivery symptoms were getting worse, not better. After suffering through the weekend, it all came to a head about one week after my discharge from the hospital. The pain became intense and I developed a low-grade fever. A call to my midwife had Dave rushing me to the ER at 1:00 am (we brought Alexander along, but left Allie sleeping with our cell phone in case she needed to contact us). It turned out I had a uterine infection. I was immediately admitted to the maternity ward (just a few rooms down from where I'd been a week before). I was given mass doses of antibiotics and some potent painkillers by IV. Because of these mediciations, I could not breastfeed. I was a wreck, but Dave was extremely supportive and helpful. The next day, my sister surprised me with a day-long visit in my hospital room. And then my Mom came to give Dave a hand with Alexander -- a fabulous help. The pain was slow to ebb, but the worse pain was the separation from Alexander. Dave brought him to visit, but it wasn't the same after being with him around the clock since his birth. I became horribly depressed on the second day. I suspected the pain killers were contributing to my depression, however, and when I stopped taking them things began to look up. My spirits were also lifted when my nurse revealed that another nurse on the floor was a PassPorter fan. It turns out there were two staff members who were big fans of PassPorter and were delighted to meet me -- I think I was happier to meet them, though! Finally, on the third day, I began to feel the antibiotics were taking effect and I was feeling better. It felt wonderful to come home and be with my baby again.



Once I was back home, Alexander and I turned our attention back to breastfeeding. [Before you read further, this section gets pretty specific and technical -- if this makes you uncomfortable or bored, skip down a bit. I'm including it for those that like details and for those who may be in need of inspiration and hope.]



In the hospital, the nurses taught Alexander and I how to breastfeed. Alas, he was a pretty sleepy little guy and I wasn't making much colostrum (pre-milk). Add to this the fact that my milk came in late on day 5, and Alexander had had enough of breastfeeding within a week. He'd cry, fuss, and shake his head when we tried to nurse. To say it was frustrating is an understatement. I shed many tears... and so did he. But our pediatrician encouraged us to continue breastfeeding, and I felt really committed to it despite our problems. Breastfeeding offers too many advantages for me to give up on it easily. So we contacted a lactation consultant (a person who specializes in breastfeeding) who gave us a few pointers and taught us a new nursing position. She also had us begin using a supplemental nursing system (SNS), which delivers the supplemental formula via a tube while we nurse -- this is supposed to encourage Alexander to nurse better. The SNS was hard to use, however, and caused a lot of frustration on my part. I came so close to just giving up so many times, but Dave kept encouraging me. So we contacted yet another lactation consultant, who came to our house with a baby scale in tow. After a 45-minute nursing session, weighing Alexander both before and after, we discovered he'd gotten just 7/10ths of an ounce of breastmilk. At his size, he should be getting between 2-2.5 ounces of breastmilk during each session. No wonder he was losing weight! Thus began my odyssey into increasing milk supply. I've unearthed just about every tip there is, I believe, and have tried many of them at this point. I rented a hospital-grade breastpump and a baby scale that is accurate to the tenth of an ounce. I purchased a better supplemental nursing system that is easier to use and provides a more natural flow for Alexander. I'm taking herbs and eating certain foods like oatmeal, molasses, and beer. Has any of this worked? It seems so. Looking back at my logs (I'm tracking every feeding), I produced 2.7 ounces of breastmilk on 9/1. Yesterday (9/9), I made 6 ounces. It's still far from being enough to sustain Alexander on breastmilk alone (he needs 20-25 ounces per day), but I may need to accept that. The good news is that he only needs to get 4 ounces of breastmilk a day to get the full benefit of its antibodies and immunities. So despite the frustration and tears, I think it's all been worth it and I feel I'm doing the right thing for us. And Alexander now LOVES to nurse -- he does it well and seems very contented. Now that I've gotten into the rhythm of it and know that I am providing him with enough breastmilk for the antibodies, I'm also enjoying it. It's a very special relationship and it's really helped me bond with him. But it's taken a level of determination and sheer stubbornness that I didn't know I had to get this far. Dave deserves a lot of the credit, too, for his patience, support, and help!





Nursing Alexander



Thanks to all our work with breastfeeding and supplemental formula, Alexander has regained his birthweight and is thriving. At last weigh-in, he was just about 10.5 pounds (almost 11 in his clothes). He's really doing wonderfully.



Aside from his eating habits, Alexander has another habit in common with many other babies -- he loves to be held... all the time. So, naturally, we hold him... all the time. Sure, we manage to put him down in his bassinet a couple times day, but otherwise he's always with us. It seems Alexander has been teaching us "attachment parenting," which we'd heard of but hadn't really explored. Attachment parenting is essentially a philosophy based in the practice of nurturing parenting methods that create strong emotional bonds. This style of parenting encourages responsiveness to the infant or child's emotional needs, and develops trust that their emotional needs will be met. As a result, this strong attachment helps the child develop secure, empathic, peaceful and enduring relationships. So not only do we pick up and calm Alexander when he cries, we find we're "wearing" him more often than not -- he's likely to be secured in a sling or Snugli on one of us while we work. And, yes, we're even sleeping together -- the bassinet is beside the bed, but Alexander prefers to be between us. Thankfully, a lot of research has shown that co-sleeping like this, when done properly, actually reduces the rate of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). To learn more about attachment parenting, visit http://www.attachmentparenting.org.





Jennifer and Alexander get some work done



Allie has also begun to warm up to Alexander. In the first couple of weeks, you were likely to hear her say he was "funny-looking" or "weird." But lately she's been more interested in playing with him and is proclaiming him a "cute baby." And a few days ago she actually asked if she could take Alexander into her room (which she did... for a few minutes). She hasn't yet progressed to changing a diaper, but I have hope we'll at least teach her this important life skill even if she doesn't do it on a regular basis.





Allie says goodbye to Alexander on her first day of school



You may also be interested to know we're managing to do more than we expected at this point. We've been out to four or five restaurants, all with Alexander, and watched plenty of TV and movies (DVDs) here at home. I'm also now able to spend more time down in the office, which is a good thing considering all the projects we have in the works!





Dave and Alex drift off to sleep while watching the US Open





Alex snoozes in his bassinet in our office



All in all, things are progressing well in our little family. Sometimes I still cannot believe that this little beanbag of a baby is mine, but I'm so very very happy he is! Thank you all for your generous gifts, support, and love!





The Marx family

[Jennifer Marx]

I also promised you some photos of Alexander's nursery with The Lion King (Simba) theme -- here you go:





For those interested, we got almost all the Simba stuff off eBay, as they don't sell it in the stores anymore. The changing table and crib were gifts from Dave's parents and were purchased at Babies 'R' Us -- they're very nice! We don't use the crib yet, but the changing table (and dresser) is invaluable.

[Irene]

<font color="blue"> Doesn't time fly.

Thanks for sharing . . . enjoy this time because it does go by quickly. </font>

[soccermomof2]

Thank your for sharing Alexander's progress with all of us. Time does fly, so enjoy every moment. My baby is starting kindergarten on Monday; I can remember the day he was born (9/1/99) as if it were yesterday.
Keep the updates and the pictures coming.

[SarahJ]

Thanks so much for sharing all this with us. I too had a hard time breasfeeding DD at first and she lost almost a full pound of weight at first. They wouldn't even discharge us from the hospital until she gained some of the weight back. But we got the hang of it and it was the best thing I think I've ever done. We also co-slept with DD between DH and I and I loved that. I also think it allowed us all to get more rest than we thought we would with an infant.

Alexander is one cute baby, and all that hair! Wow. Allie sounds like she is really coming into her role as big sister.

Congrats again and best wishes for continued health and growth. Cherish this time with him.

[vsonnier]

Thank you for sharing your story with us! As always, I loved reading your update. I'm so glad Alexander is finally eating well!

[Skychey]

Glad to hear from you! Been kind of wondering how life with Alexander was going. Ahh the joys of breast feeding, my son was a difficult one. We nicknamed him Hoover. Wishing you the best of luck!

[wdwlovers]

Yay, another update! So happy to hear things are going well now. Sorry to learn of the infection and the problems with BF. It's amazing how fast they grow, so be sure to catch every moment you can. Mine just turned 16 months and I can't believe how fast she has grown from a baby to a little person! Treasure all the moments, good and bad. Thanks for all the photos too!!

[chezp]

Great update guys - I can't believe it's five weeks either! Where does the time go?

What beautiful photos you've shared with us - and I was pleased to see some Pooh characters in there, even if I didn't spot Eeyore!

Continued to you all - take care.

[MegglesMom]

Thanks for the update! I'm glad that you were able to continue breastfeeding. I always regretted having to stop with DD after I was admitted for an appendectomy.
Thanks for the pictures, he's soooo cute!

I just read your update and I have to tell you that I was so impressed that you kept on BF! I am BFing my second, and even when things are going well, it is so difficult. But I wanted to congratulate you on your beautiful new son and congratulate you on your dedication to nursing! You should be really proud.

Emily

[katspjs]

It's amazing how fast time goes by. I'm sorry to hear about your infection and trouble BF. I had some difficulty with DS, but none with DD. I guess it all depends on the baby. Both times though, I had the opposite of what you are going through - I had an overabundance of milk. I couldn't wear the nursing pads made from material, I needed the disposable ones because I had to wear 3 or 4 at a time so that I wouldn't leak all over the place!

I'm glad to hear things are improving. The pictures are so cute. I love the crib.

[rieandmatt]

Thanks for sharing your beautiful story!! I'm glad to hear he is eating better. Take care and keep us posted!!

[ree1064]

Congrats!
It truly is amazing to see how they grow so quickly.
So, when will is first trip to DISNEY be? Anytime soon?
He should be made an honorary king for the day!!!!
Have fun with him.
I keep a calendar for my daughter for every year since her birth. I jot down one thing each day.
It's a nice keepsake.
I am off to add to it now.
Enjoy each and every moment!
Rina

[ilovelilo]

Thanks for the update! I'm glad everything's going well--and I loved seeing all the pictures!