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Old 01-03-2013, 08:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Dealing with the guilt of going without the baby!

In August, 2012, I was blessed with my first grandchild. He was rather unexpected, but what a miracle he is! Anyway - my daughter and my grandson live with me, so I see him every day, and he just lights up when he sees me (and I light up too). He's 4 months old now, and SUCH a beautiful little soul.

For Christmas, my DH surprised me with a trip to Disney at the end of February, and I was so excited... until I thought about how I might feel about leaving the baby at home! We're very close - I am very hands-on, and also watch him while my daughter works at night. He explodes with excitement when I come home, and I do the same!

Last night, my DH and I were chatting about Disney before falling asleep, and I told him I was excited but going to miss the baby. Instead of reassuring me, he started saying that the baby will probably be confused as to why he isn't seeing us. He'll probably miss us terribly, and wonder why we aren't coming home. I kept telling him he wasn't helping, but he kept going.

Now, I'm feeling tremendous guilt, and trying to figure out how I'm going to relax in the bubble. My daughter is a great Mommy, so I know he will be fine and she will keep him happy... I'm just obsessing on him missing us and us missing him.

I wish I could take them all along, but I can't afford it.

Any words of wisdom for a guilty-Nana???
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Just think of all the fun you'll have taking him when he's old enough to enjoy Disney! And enjoy your trip
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It might actually be good for your daughter and grandson, as she probably needs some one-on-one time with him to be just parent and son for a bit.

Go have fun and don't worry. He's only four months old. He'll never remember that you were gone for a few days. And you'll be right back to doting on him before you know it.
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:31 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Babies learn quickly and need to learn that if you leave them you also come back. He will be fine and hopefully so will you I remember missing my kids when I was a young working mum so much I couldn't look at other mothers whose kids were in the pushchair. The feeling passes after a while. I think some time apart will be good for you all
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I, too, think you and your grandson will be just fine!! We brought our older two to the World for the first time in 2009 and left our almost 1 year old daughter at home. I felt a little guilty but I know that she wouldn't have remembered the trip and she was in fine hands with my mom. Hubs and I try to do one kid-less to WDW a year --- they know they'll be going back too --- and that we need some alone time in a favorite place!

Have a magical trip!
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Don't feel guilty! My parents went on many a trip without us kids and the ones when we were young I don't even remember. He obviously loves you and if he could talk he would want you to be happy and go. You can tell him all about it when you get back.
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DSNYD View Post
In August, 2012, I was blessed with my first grandchild. He was rather unexpected, but what a miracle he is! Anyway - my daughter and my grandson live with me, so I see him every day, and he just lights up when he sees me (and I light up too). He's 4 months old now, and SUCH a beautiful little soul.
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Any words of wisdom for a guilty-Nana???
"Don't be guilty". Instead, look forward to how much he'll light up when you get home, and see him for the first time after the trip.

Honestly, he's going to be only 6 months old. And your trip will be, what ... a week? By his first birthday, he probably won't even remember that you were away for that week. I mean, think about it - there's SO much going on for him, the whole world is a brand new place full of fresh discoveries, just waiting for him.

Might he miss hsi Nana / Oma? Sure. But even that will just be one more new experience for him.

...

And, just think of the present(s) you can bring back for him!!
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Old 01-03-2013, 02:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Well I can appreciate how you feel can say been there done that. But our's have been to Disney with us so I was feeling the oh they would have enjoyed riding on this ride or that. We didnt even have the heart to tell them we were going to Disney that year. He is still little enough that he wont realize the time frame your gone. As long as he is use to who ever will be taking care of him in your absence. My friend who the Grandkids really enjoy helps out if we go away so that makes me feel a little better. Still when you are a major care giver you cant help but be torn like that. Hopefully the magic of Disney will take over and you can enjoy the trip.
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Old 01-03-2013, 04:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I definitely know that you are alllllll correct. He'll never remember my absence, and his Mommy is so good to him that I know he'll be happy and well taken care of when I'm away. His Daddy pretty much lives with us, so when he's not working, he's here with them. (he works long hours as a truck driver) He's a good guy, and really loves this little man and my daughter.

Guess I'm just being ridiculous worrying about missing a smile or giggle... or him missing us. Most Nana's don't get to see their grandchildren every day, so I should be counting my blessings that I've had so much bonding time with him already.

I still have good and bad moments when I think about going, but I'm going to try to concentrate on just enjoying myself -- and how good it will feel to squeeze him tight and kiss his cheeks when I get back home.


There may be a "few" baby-presents in my suitcase too!!!

Thanks for your emotional support and good advice.
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Old 01-04-2013, 01:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Wow what an awesome grandma you are! However I think you do need to acknowledge you do have a unique situation, being able to see him all the time. Many grandparents live in different states than their grandchildren and only see them a few times a year.

I have a relative who is the mom who has left her baby girl for several weekends and her baby is only 8 months old. That would have torn me up at that age so I can definitely tell where you are coming from. Since your grandchild will be home with his mom - you have nothing to worry about.

Enjoy your vacation!
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