Tips on dealing with non-Disney family members on Disney-type trips?? About This Page:

[IvyandLace]

I guess I'm posting this to gain ideas and support. In 2000, my mom decided that it was time to "initiate" the grandchildren (my nephews and niece from older sis) in the wonderful world of Disney! A group of five adult Disney lovers had a magical time showing the kids a whole new world and celebrating my older nephew'a 12th BD. We took the same group (minus my dad, adding my younger sister's soon-to-be husband) to WDW again in 2002, this time in celebration of my niece's 12th BD. This year we have been planning a bigger family celebration for my younger nephew's 12th BD...this time cruisin' for the first time on the Magic, November 27-December 4, 2004! (Yippee!!)

With that background in mind...the kids' mother (my older sis) is NOT a Disney person. Thinks it's dumb...juvenile, etc. Thus, she has not come on any of the trips even though they were celebrations of her childrens' BDs. *sigh*
Anyway...this trip both she and her new husband (married in February) will be joining us along with my brother and my sister-in-law (the type that will love Disney if they would ever show up for any trip! Needless to say, we are still holding our breathe that they will be going with us.) She has made a couple of underhanded mentions of the cruise, things that have kind of "burst" my bubble on the idea of everyone loving the cruise and having a great time due to the "Disney" theme, characters, etc.

How do you deal with non-Disney lover family members on your Disney trips? Any sugggestions or ideas that can help the trip? I really want her to have a good time, but I also don't want to hear how "stupid" it is if we decide to take pictures with characters or want to attend the character breakfast!

Understand??
IVY

[pidge]

I know how you feel my father originally had no intrest in a Disney cruise either until he happened to watch the Travel Channel special and relized it wasn't just for kids! (He and my mother are now joining DH and I on our cruise.)
As for your sister, she probably is worried somebody will think she's weird for wanting to go spend time with Mickey instead of some place like Vegas. Your best bet is to ignore her comments and try to point out some of the non Disney things to do. Once she's onboard hopefully she'll realize that it OK to be over the age of 5 and want a hug from Mickey! Remember to that not everyone shares the same love for Disney and she just may not "get it" and feels slightly envious of the bond you and your other Disney loving family members share. After all there must have been some reason for her to decide to come along on this Disney adventure.

[Stephanie P.]

I don't have any advise - luckily the family members I've gone with all had a good time and enjoyed being there from the get go. I hope it all goes well!

Stephanie

[goofy4clareandkeller]

My in-laws took my DW, DD and me and I have to admit after going several times as a child I wasn't real excited. But after seeing the look on my 5-yr. olds face when she saw the Castle I quickly realized it's not about me it's about her and I had the time of my life. Now i'm the Disney freak in the family and my wife and daughter love to point that out. So my advice is don't let them ruin your trip because it's not about them it's about you and your family they are just along for the ride. If it gets to bad tell them to stay at the pool and you'll take the kids. Good luck and don't let them drag you down.

[Joy J]

I'm guessing from your post that your sister has either never been to WDW or at the very least, hasn't been there in a long time. Either way, she's in for quite a shock. My husband hadn't been to WDW since 1976 when the only theme park open in Orlando was the Magic Kingdom. When I was planning our trip for last December, he agreed to go only to please me - he wasn't very excited at the prospect of a Disney vacation. Well, I can't tell you how much fun it was watching his eyes grow big as the magic and enchantment and all the more "adult" pursuits at WDW captured him completely. He ended up getting the Disney bug so badly that we are now Disney Vacation Club members. If you would like to read about his transformation and perhaps get some ideas on how to hook your sister on WDW, you can read my trip report about our adventures - The Making of a Disney World Fan My main advice to you regarding your sister would be to not push it, to make sure you schedule some more "adult" activities for her (perhaps a behind the scenes tour or a lovely meal at California Grill or a night out at Pleasure Island, etc.) I suspect that once she gets there and WDW starts to weave its spell over her, you won't have to do anything but sit back and watch the transformation.

Joy

[Caldercup]

[ QUOTE ]
Your best bet is to ignore her comments and try to point out some of the non Disney things to do. Once she's onboard hopefully she'll realize that it OK to be over the age of 5 and want a hug from Mickey!

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That's excellent advice.

Don't let her pessimism hurt your enjoyment - sometimes the magic overtakes the "bah humbugs" and sometimes it doesn't.

I'd make sure you have Disney send her lots of info on the adult areas of the cruise so that she will see how fantastic it can be.

And if she falls in love, great. If not, she'll have had a cruise, spent time with her family, and been able to witness their happiness. Maybe it'll rub off on her.

Good luck!
Eileen

[WillCAD]

Let's look at this from a different perspective.

I have heard horror stories of parents who drag thier exhausted, cranky children around WDW with the admonition, "We're paying a fortune fr this trip, so you better HAVE FUN! NOW!"

Well, we all know that it's competely unreasonable to expect a child to have fun on command when he's exhausted, hot, hungry, and experiencing sensory overload.

Adults, on the other hand, are a totally different matter. You need to talk privately with your sister before the trip and impress upon her the fact that she is the only person in a group of 10 people who finds the Disney mistique juvenile or boring, and in order to promote family harmony and keep from ruining 9 other peoples' vacations, she needs to keep her big mouth shut for the duration of the trip. She's not a child, she's an adult, and adults DO have the ability to quit whining and put up with stuff they don't like for the sake of thier family.

Your sister can either make the best of the trip and try to enjoy those aspects of WDW and the cruise that she will enjoy (such as the food, the shopping, or some of the attractions), or she needs to stay home. Either way, make it clear to her that she must remember at all times that 9 other people are paying a fortune for the trip, that 9 other people are enjoying the trip, and that 9 other people will have to suffer if she can't control herself.

In other words, tell her to act like a grownup.

[SharonK0527]

That's a tough one Ivy. Having been on several cruises myself, I agree with the others here who have said to make sure to point out to your sis that there are many other "adult" things to do on a cruise.

My sister & I and our families travel together at least once a year. But my sis & I are always very open with each other - in other words, we don't hold back. If she was saying something negative about things I like, I would tell her so point blank. I would also tell her if she doesn't like it, go find something else to do. Now that might be a little harsh, not knowing you & your sis's relationship. You might not be comfortable telling her she's raining on your parade. Another approach might be to really let your enthusiasm shine through to show her that her negative comments are not going to dampen your enjoyment and maybe when she sees all the fun you guys are having, it will rub off on her.

Either way, enjoy your trip & your time with Mickey. Even if she doesn't catch the Disney magic, I'm sure she'll enjoy the cruise.

[karen63]

Have you gotten a copy of the trip planning video (or DVD) for the cruise? I've never seen it, but if it's like the one for WDW, it'll show all the things there are to do, which I'm sure would show her it's not all going to be Disney-related. If that doesn't work, then I would agree with what WillCAD said.

[Eliz]

This is probably not the place to confess this, but I am not a Disney person, and yet, I am going to Disney World anyway (solo, no less, specificly because there's so much to do), and I think that maybe I can help you reassure your sister that she'll survive the trip. The reason I tend to travel alone is so that I don't have companions coercing or tricking me into doing things that would be unbearably embarassing or otherwise not on my "to-do" list. Given the sort of things that some people will do in a fit of enthusiasim, this is a reasonable fear that I bet your sister has, too.

Do NOT try to make her play with the characters, and reassure her that she will not be required to do so. Some people are really uncomfortable with that sort of thing.

Make a point of pointing out the "adult"-type things to do wherever you are, and don't make an issue of it if she wants to go shopping (or otherwise exploring) on her own while y'all are doing something else. Just make sure she has a watch and a specified meeting time for the next meal or other group activity.

It may turn out that she relaxes once she's on the boat and has a great time just watching her kids have fun, and doing normal cruise-type stuff, but if you try to force/coerce/guilt her into any of the "young-at-heart" stuff she will resent you for a long time to come.

Please remember that not everybody is a big Disney fan, and not everybody is outgoing enough to be able to really let go and believe. I believe Disney knows this and it's why they provide so many other things to do.


Eliz

[AmyAngel]

[ QUOTE ]
Adults, on the other hand, are a totally different matter. You need to talk privately with your sister before the trip and impress upon her the fact that she is the only person in a group of 10 people who finds the Disney mistique juvenile or boring, and in order to promote family harmony and keep from ruining 9 other peoples' vacations, she needs to keep her big mouth shut for the duration of the trip. She's not a child, she's an adult, and adults DO have the ability to quit whining and put up with stuff they don't like for the sake of thier family.

Your sister can either make the best of the trip and try to enjoy those aspects of WDW and the cruise that she will enjoy (such as the food, the shopping, or some of the attractions), or she needs to stay home. Either way, make it clear to her that she must remember at all times that 9 other people are paying a fortune for the trip, that 9 other people are enjoying the trip, and that 9 other people will have to suffer if she can't control herself.

In other words, tell her to act like a grownup.

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AMEN!!!!!

I say if she whines or complains, dump her. (Not off the side of the ship, although that would be satisfying.) Leave her by the pool or in the shops. If she doesn't want to do the character breakfast, leave her in her room. You can meet up with her later. I would point out the more "adult" enjoyable things that you think she would like, encourage her to be open minded, then wash your hands of it. If she's determined not to have a good time, she won't. She'll either find her own fun things to do or be bored to death, but at least she won't be dampening everyone else's spirits.

Most of my family members "get it." There is one aunt and her family that doesn't, and we wouldn't invite them along because of that. This same aunt isn't ever happy unless she has something to complain about, so it's a personality thing with her.

Tell her you're going to have a great, fun vacation, whether she does or not!

I hope she comes around and "gets" the magic!

[DISNEYGOOF]

Ivy, I would wait to see if she's having fun, maybe

she'll end up having a really good time. Good Luck!

[Nick and Ryans Mom]

I agree with Willcad on this. Tell her no one is forcing her to go and if she doesn't want to make to most out of the experience she can stay home. It almost sounds like she is complaining just to get attention.

[DrDolphin]

[ QUOTE ]
Have you gotten a copy of the trip planning video (or DVD) for the cruise? I've never seen it, but if it's like the one for WDW, it'll show all the things there are to do, which I'm sure would show her it's not all going to be Disney-related. If that doesn't work, then I would agree with what WillCAD said.

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I HIGHLY recommend the cruise DVD - there is a section on there with "ADULT" things to do -- my mom watched it with my DNiece and I and commented how nice it looked and now wants to take a Disney Cruise!!! Maybe exposing her to the adult things to do (spa, shopping, spa, shopping... sorry I was getting stuck there) will help. If not - take WillCAD's advice.

[graygables]

You have a couple of options...lock her in the stateroom or wait until she's in the bathroom and everybody leave! OK, maybe not, but I agree with Will...tell her to buck up and shut up for everyone else's sake. It doesn't take much to negate the magic, so make sure you steer clear if she won't play nice.