Joan's Big Trip Surprise - updated 7/21 with both Parts I and II About This Page:

[zacksmom_1993]

So many things to enjoy in this trip report, Joan!

Like...

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Rachel thinks they are ugly, so I especially wear them just for her.

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or this...

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What manufacturer in their right mind put that measurement on the box? The serving size for teens is a large salad bowl.

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or this...

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Then he squatted down and peed in the pool. A lot.

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or especially this...

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Enough that I had to stop and buy a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and Go Commando (from an episode of Friends). I know, I know, "Over Sharing of Personal Information", but I got soaked to the bone on that ride.

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Keep it coming. I want more, more, more!

Karen

[luv2sail]

This is just the funniest trip report! Going Commando...the comment about spending Pat's money...teens eating cerel out of a salad bowl...whipping out your duct tape to fix the bed...I bet that would have worked too! I can't wait to read more!!!!

[JoanW]

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I REALLY want to laugh at my life!

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I think that is where I am at this point in my life! Sometimes I think I could write a sitcom of what goes on in my family and extended family, but I don't think anyone would believe it!!!

[JoanW]

I forgot to add something to the Animal Kingdom Day. While we were eating dinner at Boma, Marco pointed to my face and said I had sauce or something on it. I wiped a few times with my napkin. He said I didn't get it all. I kept wiping. I asked several times if I got it all. I was thinking I must have eaten with serious gusto or something. He kept pointing some more and shaking his head every time I wiped. By now I am dipping my napkin in my water and scrubbing my face. Several times. I look up at Camille, and she won't look at me. Neither will Pat or the kids. Then they bust out laughing. Marco got me so good. I was almost wiping down my whole face with a soaking wet napkin. He said his grandma who is about 80 falls for it about once a week. Okay, he's good. He has such a poker face when he does these pranks.

[luvnwdwgal]

[JoanW]

June 15, 2005, I Think I See a Typhoon at Typhoon Lagoon and Taco Bed Surgery Day

We are all well rested after our early night last night. I made Pat bacon and eggs for breakfast (he avoids cereal at all cost). Everyone makes a sandwich to pack in the cooler. I had plenty of zip lock bags for everything. We grab pool towels from the house (all linens were provided with the rental, including pool towels – sweet!). My feet are pretty well blistered and I switch shoes for the day to flip flops, only they hurt so badly. I tried putting on moleskin, which I have never used before; only it doesn’t stick very well. While waiting for everyone to suit up, I went online briefly, checked in on Passporter boards, and posted that my feet had huge honkin blisters and that it was hot.

We are out the door at 9:00 am, a record for us, not to be duplicated the rest of the trip. As some of us have only been to Blizzard Beach, I read about Typhoon Lagoon from my Deeluxe Passporter to everyone as we make our daily trek up 192. We have been on that road so much we know our landmarks quite well now, including the big Orange stand, Chilis (helllooo Annabel!) and some Las Vegas cheapie buffet. The Waffle House had lost an H, so I became Waffle ouse.

It was about right here that Rachel and Camille were arguing and touching each other (now remember, Rachel is 12 and Camille is 23). My Evil Eye was tired and my arms didn’t quite reach to the very back of the minivan (my father must be rolling in his grave, HIS arm would have reached back there!) Pat pulled over and we did a Chinese Firedrill, making Rachel the co-pilot, I’m now the driver, and Pat is sitting in the back with Camille. Rachel is thrilled with her new seat assignment and gloats the rest of the way.

We are again on our way. Marco started telling Rachel a story about how he has a hard time with water parks because his little brother broke his arm on one of the slides, and to this day it does not bend right. Rachel fell for it hook line and sinker. She was so sympathetic to him, offering to help him through the gates and onto his first ride. Marco has no younger siblings, and Rachel became his patsy the rest of the trip. Put a big G on her forehead for Gullible. I was driving and could not pay a whole lot of attention to the story, but as soon as I heard the younger brother part, I knew. Ohhh she was so mad at him, but not really. She also attached herself to him almost the whole trip and tried to sit with him at every meal and on the sofa. Like the annoying little sister she is. Her nickname at home is Miss Buzzy, cause she’s like a mosquito.



We got to Typhoon Lagoon right around 9:30 and got an excellent parking spot. We got in and found great seats. Pat set up camp and had a nap. The kids and I hit the wave pool for some body surfing. I then parked my large posterior into an inner tube and did the Castaway Creek for many trips around the river. This is my kind of water ride. Rachel joined me for a while and Grace did too.


Pat found me later and we did several trips around, holding hands, talking about how much fun our trip has been. The kids all went in search of the Crush n Gusher. We found them later on our way over to try it out. It is a whole lotta fun. Of course, the more you weigh, the faster you go. Pat and I opted not to do a two-man raft, as we felt our combined tonnage would be too much and might cause a tidal wave. Camille’s final warning to us was to make sure we kept our butts in the air. She was right on the money with that one. If you don’t you will have difficulty sitting down later!

The kids all went in search of the other water slides and I went back to the safety of Castaway Creek. Our plan was to meet back at 4:00 at the chairs so we could pack up and head back to the house. Pat wanted to be dropped off at the Wal-Mart Supercenter on our way home. At about 3:45, I notice that the trees were starting to move, bending actually, and dark clouds had moved in. Big dark clouds. Rolling big dark clouds. I quickly retrieved my things from the locker and found everyone back at the chairs packing up really quickly. The winds were picking up even more, and then it started to rain. And then pour. It looks like a Typhoon! We all trekked out to the exit, with 10,000 of our closest friends all at once. Somehow we all got separated, well, mostly me. So I am walking with strangers looking for our rental minivans. And almost all of them are white minivans. And it is now a torrential downpour. It’s raining so hard, I can’t see out of my glasses. I’ve got wallets and cameras in my arms, trying to keep them dry under a towel, so I can’t wipe my glasses off to see. And my blisters are gianormous. That’s a word Rachel likes to use when things are big. Really big. It can’t get worse, can it? So I am limping in the parking lot, can’t see, and it starts to thunder and lightening. I really hate thunder and lightening. I am about in tears because I have to go up to each minivan to see if each white van is a Freestar since I can’t see, and if my family is in it while I freak every time I see lightening. Water is pooling on the ground, almost an inch. Finally Pat is honking the horn and pulls up to where I am. I hop in and off we go.

At least we are all laughing about the Typhoon at Typhoon Lagoon. We stop at the Wal-Mart Supercenter and let Pat out. He’s dry, he can go in. I switch seats and we head home. We all hit the showers and Neil takes the Impala back to get Pat. He has picked up a few things he thinks he can fix the bed with. We had dinner reservations at Ohana at 7:40, so he showers and we headed out the door to the Polynesian.

We had to bring dry towels in the car for our ride to the Poly, as the seats were soaking wet from our wet suits and the rain some of us were in! We pulled in at 7:15 and we headed over to Ohanas. I have never been inside the Poly and I was amazed how tropical it felt. It is dark inside in the evening, but very lush. We checked in for dinner and pretty soon were seated, less than five minutes I guess. I don’t remember our server’s name; he was good, better than the previous night, but still not at good as our Zoran. Sigh.

We give our usual drink orders (six diet cokes and one regular coke every time – Marco Polo has to be different, but he’s a skinny kid who can drink full strength sugar).

We got the first round the bread and it was devoured. I guess we worked up an appetite, me especially with all that workout in my floating inner tube. Then we got our appetizer and side dish arrangement. The wings were consumed with gusto and I ate a whole bowl of the green beans. The shrimp wontons were sucked out of the bowl faster than he could replace them. A hostess named Kay came by our table. Originally from New York City (Queens), she had us howling at the table. She and Pat were going at it (he lived in Queens many years ago, waayy before he met me when he was a Fed). He can talk New Yawk like the best of them and they were waving their hands in the air and yak yak yaking. Our skewers of steak and turkey arrived and then the shrimp and pork soon after. We all had a blast eating dinner there and could have cared less about the entertainment (hula hoops and stuff). Marco scarfed down a lot of the pork and chicken wings. Neil ate the steak and turkey. I didn’t care for the shrimp too much, but I loved the turkey and pork. I also ate almost all the salad and the green beans. I’m not a rice fan, but Camille is and ate about three of the bowls of rice with turkey. Our server brought out the pineapple with the caramel sauce. I thought I would not like it, but we ate all the pineapple and just about licked the bowls clean when there was no pineapple left for dipping.

We finished up our meal with Marco getting his usual moussey dessert,

Rachel got the Passion Fruit cheesecake, Pat got the bread pudding, and Camille, Neil and Grace got the Shaved Ice (in Hawaii it’s Shave Ice, no “d” on the Shave). It came in a bucket with a shovel. They ate it with the shovel. How nice.

I just had a cup of coffee and adjusted my underwear from strangling myself. It was a really nice dinner and we all had so much fun there.

I got a “Snaps for Mom” (Legally Blonde movie reference - when someone does something good) for my planning expertise. Oh they have no clue what I have planned for them in the coming days.

We headed out to the car, where the humidity is at an all time high due to the earlier rain and the temperature. I felt that today was not as hot as the previous days (of course not, we were in a water park where it would have been perfect for 100 degree days). It might have only been 90 that day. We found an oldies rock station to listen to in the car, and we sang really loud the whole way home, kind of like in Wayne’s World. Oh we are a scary group.

We get home around 10 pm and Pat and Neil decided to take on the Taco Bed. I could have slept in the fold one more night I am so tired and stuffed. But they are men, and they have supplies and they have a few tools. Very few tools. The Wal-Mart Supercenter is limited in the hardware department. They took apart the bed and laid the pieces all around. Pat’s first bit of creativeness is a mop. He bought a $.90 mop with a metal handle. He unscrewed the mop and used only the handle. He then used some U shaped clamps and the plumbing clamps previously installed and now reinstalled in a new location to provide some support to the front of the bed. Like in surgery, you could hear Pat calling for things like, “clamp, and scalpel” (well, really screwdriver). One package of U clamps was not the right size and did not fit over the mop handle. “She’s coding, what are we going to do?” DUCT TAPE! I find my travel duct tape and slap it into Pat’s hand, just like a surgical nurse. Oh ye who had little faith in my need for duct tape! The mop handle is clamped and duct taped and the supporting center frame is now connected to the whole frame.

My only regret is that we were too tired to take photos. I know, we photographed lizards at the front door for goodness sake, why didn’t we get a photo of the Taco Bed Surgery? I waited in the living room with everyone else, watching Marco play Stuntman and listening to him talk to the tv when he jumped over cars and achieved new levels. Oh yippie. Soon the bed was back together and I called it a night. The mattress felt great, and I finally got to enjoy a night in a king size bed (we have a queen at home, so it is a treat for me, or at least it will be for the remaining four nights). I can’t believe our week is half over.


This is the view from my seat. Tiki Cheeks

[hktmom]

I, for one, am glad you ended your installment on Tiki Cheeks and not Taco Bed Surgery. This is my vote for winner photo/photo label!

You are always fun and funny- Tonight, my dear you are OUT OF THIS WORLD! I'll bet, I'll bet anything, that you were laughing at yourself as your read it back! How could you not? And that...I would pay to hear-

What a blast.

Heather

[lablady]

I'll have you know...when I'm tired at work tomorrow...you will be to blame! I came in to turn off my computer and just HAD to take a little look and I discovered your TR! I've not seen it since the big surprise so I got all caught up in it and here I am, over an hour later....still reading! Thanks for such a great TR, you're funny as heck and I'll definitely make sure I catch the rest...now I've got to get some sleep!

[Colexis Mom]

Ok, great picture of tiki cheeks OMG, you have me laughing again Great update Joan

[Shell_of_the_South]

Joan, I always knew you were a funny chick, but this report confirms it. I have laughed and laughed. And I feel your pain - all my teens want to do is sleep instead of getting up and running to the parks like I want to.

[luvnwdwgal]

I am sooooo loving this trip report!! Tiki cheeks!

[lauren-roxy]

Joan, I always laugh hysterically after reading your trip report!!! You are so hilarious and have such a gift for writing!! Don't even say that you are half done, this is just too good!!! Glad you enjoyed your meal at Ohanas!!

[whoSEZ]

Joan, thank you so much for the morning endorphins!!

Lovin' every word.

[DawnDenise]

Loving it Joan...just loving it!!! Tiki cheeks....too funny!!!

[Cinderbrella]

Your day at TL and Ohanas sounded like sooo much fun!! Hope those feet are going to recover for you. I loved the Tiki cheeks shot and pictures from your meal.
I'm looking forward to your next update.
Snaps for Joan!!!!