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My ex, wanted my DD, then 10 to play at duet with him at his mother's memorial service.
He was on guitar, she on piano. It was a piece she had played at a recital and knew very well. My ex, being my ex, skipped practices several times before the service. He lost his place half way through. They made it through but it was extremely upsetting for my perfectionist daughter. I am not sure any one but my DD was aware of how much he goofed but was totally unfair to her.
I think it's nice to add some personal touches but it should be a priority for the performers, not out together at the last minute.
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