Not good news and not sure how I feel - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
PassPorter.com
Award-winning travel guidebooks

   guidebooks   |   news   |   podcasts   |   boards   |   blog   |   worksheets   |   photos   |   articles   |   updates   |   register   |   follow us on


Go Back   PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums > PassPorter Villa: Sharing the Fun Together > The Family Room: Family and Friends
Register


Welcome! We're happy you've found the PassPorter Community -- the friendliest place to plan your vacation to Walt Disney World, Disney Cruise Line, Disneyland, and the world in general! You are now viewing the PassPorter Message Board Community as a guest, which gives you limited access. As our guest, feel free to browse our messages by selecting the forum you want to visit from the list below.

To post messages and ask questions, join our FREE community today and you'll get access to tools and resources not available to guests, such as our vacation countown timers, "living" avatars, private messaging system, database searches, downloads, and a special PassPorter discount code. Registration is fast, simple, and completely free. Just click the Join Our Community link.

If you think you've already joined, log in below now. If you don't remember your member name or password, please visit our Member Name and Password Recovery page. You are also welcome to contact us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-30-2018, 08:38 PM   #1
revral
Community Rank: Scout
 
revral's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 4,435

Post Thanks / Like
Unhappy Not good news and not sure how I feel

So, my aunt (the one whose husband had metastasized bile duct cancer and died unexpectedly the end of February and has her own health issues) fell last night and ended up needing firemen to get her up. (THANK YOU to all who work in emergency services) The result is that she's decided to sell her house and move in to assisted living. I have no idea how I feel about this and am having a hard time reconciling this aunt with the one from my childhood, teens and twenties and, heck, even my thirties. She'll be 68 on July 6th and is only 21 years older than I am (I'll be 47 on December 20th); so definitely not old. She's also the aunt I'm the most alike in looks, temperment and personality and have been closest to for many years.
__________________
My Previous TripsDL not sure probably 20+ DW ASMu December 07-17, 2007 ASMu January 26-February 03, 2009 POR February 01-09, 2010
revral is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-2018, 08:46 PM   #2
CinderAbby
Community Rank: Legend
 
CinderAbby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Eastern Massachusetts
Concierge Level: 3
Posts: 19,163

Post Thanks / Like
I'm sorry to hear about your uncle and about your aunt falling. Obviously I'm not in your shoes and can't know how you feel other than what you tell us so all I can really offer is
and

Hopefully your aunt is happy and comfortable with this decision so that you can eventually be happy for her too.
__________________
My newest mini PTR/TR UPDATED & COMPLETED 6-16-18 Posts 50 TO 56
Looking for my previous TR's? Here they are
My Countdown Counting down to: We're going for an Incredible Summer
40 days, 11 hours, 23 minutes
My Previous TripsAll WDW - July 1980 off property - July 1981 FW - July 1983 FW - July 1985 FW - August 1987 FW - July 1988 Treehouse Villas - July 1990 Treehouse Villas - July 1997 FW - August 2006 AS Sports, 1st time with DH and DD - August 2008 AS Sports - August 2009 AS Sports - August 2010 AS Sports - July 2011 AS Sports - August 2013 AS Music - August 2014 AS Music - August 2015 AS Music - August 2016 AS Music
CinderAbby is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-2018, 11:32 PM   #3
GingerJ
PassPorter Guide Author

PassPorter Guide

Community Rank: Trailblazer
 
GingerJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Ohio & Florida
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 5,922

Post Thanks / Like


It's hard to see those we love become frail and have health issues. Best wishes to you and your aunt; I always hear about folks who move into assisted living say they wish they'd done it much earlier. So I hope it's a good move for your aunt.
__________________
GingerJ, Co-Author, PassPorter's Disneyland Resort and Southern California Attractions LIVE! Guide
& Guide for the Collecting, Scrapbooking, and More!, DL: Southern California Attractions, Technical Support, Using Your PassPorter, and Using Disney Tech forums
My PassPorter Bookshelf
My Previous TripsWDW visits: 1977, 1985, 1997, 1999, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006, 2008, 2010, 2011, 2013, 3-2014, 9-2014, 11-2015 (birthday trip), 5-2016, 2-2017, 3-2017 x2, 6-2017, 8-2017, 10-2017x2, 11-2017x2, 12-2017. DISNEYLAND(no kids): 1984, 1993, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2012, 2013, 6-2014 (DS19 & me!), 8-2014 (solo), 12-2015 (solo), 9-2016
GingerJ is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 12:52 AM   #4
chezp
PassPorter Message Board Manager
PassPorter Guide Author

Community Rank:
Legend VIP
 
chezp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Maidstone, Kent, UK
Concierge Level: 3
Posts: 187,574

Post Thanks / Like
__________________

My Countdown Counting down to: A day out at Eltham Palace with friends
5 days, 13 hours, 23 minutes
My PassPorter Bookshelf
My Previous Trips21 trips to WDW, 6 to Disneyland in California, 9 to Disneyland Paris, 1 to Hong Kong Disneyland, 1 to Tokyo Disney, 1 to Aulani, 1 to Hilton Head, 2 to Vero Beach and 11 Disney cruises on the Magic, Wonder, Dream and Fantasy
chezp is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 06:20 AM   #5
Huntermom
Community Rank: Explorer
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Northern New England
Posts: 12,161

Post Thanks / Like
I am almost 66 and had major health issues 5 years ago (3 months hospitalized). I do not feel old and work full time plus after a year off for my illness. I have recently decided to relocate to be near my older son, 1900 miles from the area I love. This is in part to free my DD up from feeling she needs to be close to me in case I get sick again. I am completely recovered but will always be at risk.

It sounds like your aunt made the right decision for her. No one wants to need help and more importantly, have to struggle to get it. Seriously, I have a friend who is to come to my house and make sure I am alive if she doesn't hear from me for a few days.

It may be hard for you now but it sounds like you are taking care of your self so accept that when you decide to give up living alone may be a lot later than your aunt. Also assisted living is not a nursing home and many people enjoy it-lots to do and very convenient, especially if you decide to minimize driving.
__________________

Charlie

Last edited by Huntermom; 05-31-2018 at 06:22 AM..
Huntermom is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 06:50 AM   #6
Colexis Mom
RED SOX NATION!!
PassPorter's Club Passholder


What's this?

PassPorter Guide

Community Rank:
Legend VIP
 
Colexis Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Connecticut
Concierge Level: 9
Posts: 136,339

Post Thanks / Like
Sorry to hear that but kudos to her for realizing herself that she can’t do it on her own any longer and needs help. It’s usually not that easy, speaking from experience!
__________________
My PassPorter Bookshelf
My Previous TripsAUG '16 - POFQ, APR '12 - POFQ, JUL '10 - DL, AUG '09 - DCL Western, AUG '08 - POFQ/BC, AUG '06 - AKL/BC/DisneyWonder/Poly, DEC '05 - AKL, APR '05 - AKL/BC, DEC '04 - AKL, MAY '04 - AKL/BC, MAY '03 - WL/BC, MAY '98 -offsite, MAY '94 - BC, AUG '85 - Poly, AUG '83 - Poly, AUG '81 - Poly, JUL '79 - World Inn, JUL '76 - World Inn
Colexis Mom is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 07:37 AM   #7
JoanneS
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Peterborough, NH
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 10,795

Post Thanks / Like
I'm sorry you had a scare with your aunt. But, now you don't have to worry about her. She will be with people who will look out for her well-being. She will be with people like her and she can socialize more.

I get the feeling that you worry that this is your future because she is a lot like you, but it doesn't have to be that way. Everyone is different. You can vow to take care of yourself, eat well and exercise.

I hope your aunt enjoys her new place. Most people really enjoy these places.
__________________


Rico: He's not a mutt, he's a "Designer Breed."
My Countdown Counting down to: Its all about the Food and Wine
Tasting it All
My Previous TripsWDW Nov 1987, offsite WDW-April 2007, AS-Movies WDW-Dec. 2007, Contemporary WDW-Jan. 2009, Caribbean Beach WDW-April 2009, AS-Music Family Suites WDW-Dec. 2009, Port Orleans French Quarter WDW-May 2010, Boardwalk Inn WDW-Nov. 2010, Animal Kingdom Lodge WDW-Jan. 2011, Port Orleans Riverside/Polynesian WDW-Oct. 2011, Pop Century WDW - Jan. 2012, Wilderness Lodge WDW - Jan. 2013, Art of Animation and Yacht Club WDW - Oct. 2013, Coronado Springs WDW- Jan. 2014, All Star Sports WDW - Jan. 2015, Grand Floridian WDW - Dec. 2015, Beach Club Resort
JoanneS is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 11:05 AM   #8
Pris
Community Rank: Explorer
 
Pris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Bennington, NE
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 10,242

Post Thanks / Like
I'm so sorry about your aunt. I suspect your feelings are something like "will I be like that at 68? You must remember that, despite your similarities, you are 2 different people. Just because your aunt has issues doesn't mean you will. I think that your aunt is simply looking at the big picture and is planning for the future. She may have been thinking about something like this for a while.
__________________


My Countdown Counting down to: Westbound Panama Canal
Wondering through the Panama Canal
My PassPorter Bookshelf
My Previous TripsApril 2018 Wonder thru Panama Canal~Oct. 2016 POFQ~June 2016 Wonder to Alaska~April 2016 POFQ~Feb. 2016 POR/Magic/POFQ~Nov. 2015 POFQ~June 2015 Magic to Norway~May 2015 POFQ~March 2015 POFQ~Dec. 2014 POR~Sept. 2014 CSR~March 2014 POR~March 2013 POR~June 2011 WONDER to ALASKA~March 2011 POR~June 2010 GF/POLYNESIAN~ June 2009 MAGIC ~ March 2008 POP/WONDER/POFQ ~ Oct. 2007 POP ~ June 2007 CBR ~ March 2007 POP/POFQ ~ June 2006 POP ~ Dec. 2005 POFQ ~ July 2005 POR ~ Jan 2005 POP ~ July 2004 POR ~ Jan. 2004 CBR ~ June 2003 POFQ ~ March 2003 POFQ ~ March 2002 Courtyard ~ Dec. 2001 WL ~ July 2001 ASMU ~ March 2001 POR ~ July 2000 SWAN ~ July 1998 DxL ~ July 1992 DxL ~ May 1989 off site ~ Dec. 1976 Honeymoon off site
Pris is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 02:03 PM   #9
lovewdw2
Community Rank: Jetsetter
 
lovewdw2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pa
Posts: 2,139

Post Thanks / Like
I bet it is relief for your Aunt.... and yeah I am so sorry for you because you spent so much time with her in her house. I have to give your Aunt alot of credit because she has decided this on her own. Hopefully you aren't thinking that you will wind up the same as well...because like someone else said you and your Aunt are 2 different people. 2 different generations.
I hope you & and your Aunt find peace... with this road ahead! I am also sorry about the loss of your Uncle.


My parents decided last year to sell their BIG house and move into a retirement community, where if something were to happen to them medically we kids would not have to worry! They have assisted living there as well. I have visited plenty times and it is very nice. My mother is 21 years older than me, but I do not see myself going that way....
__________________
Kate in PA
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them- Walt Disney
My Countdown Counting down to: Disney + Birthday = Need a Vacation!
327 days, 15 hours, 23 minutes
My Previous Trips1994 Dixie Landings, 1998 All Star Music, 2000 All Star Movies, 2002 Contemporary, 2003 Caribbean Beach, 2004 Outside WDW, 2005 Caribbean Beach, 2006 All Star Sports, 2007 Coronado Springs, 2008 Beach Club, 2012 Wilderness Lodge, 2013 Port Orleans Riverside, 2014 Caribbean Beach, 2015 Boardwalk Inn, 2015 Pop Century, 2016 Disneyland, 2017 Port Orleans French Quarter, 2018 Boardwalk Inn!
lovewdw2 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 02:48 PM   #10
revral
Community Rank: Scout
 
revral's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 4,435

Post Thanks / Like
Thanks everyone. It's definitely for the best and should make things easier on my mom. The fact that this comes three months after this aunt's husband died unexpectedly doesn't make it any easier. But, I think a large part of what's making this hard for me is that it's making the fact that at some point I'm going to be the oldest member of the family hit home. There's basically 17-19 years between me and my three cousins which makes our relationship more like that of aunt/nieces than cousins.
__________________
My Previous TripsDL not sure probably 20+ DW ASMu December 07-17, 2007 ASMu January 26-February 03, 2009 POR February 01-09, 2010
revral is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 03:10 PM   #11
Her Dotness
Community Rank: Explorer
 
Her Dotness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: St. Louis, Missouri suburb
Concierge Level: 3
Posts: 11,132

Post Thanks / Like
What’ll make you really feel old is when all of your parents’ generation are gone, and your generation become the family’s elders.

But, yes, it is a difficult adjustment when someone who’s always seemed to you younger than their years makes a decision like your aunt’s.
__________________
"I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it." -- Alice (Alice in Wonderland)
My Countdown Counting down to: Our Happiest Place for Mickey’s and my November birthday—again!
139 days, 21 hours, 23 minutes
My Previous TripsWDW 10/2017--VGF; WDW 12/2015--GF; WDW 11/2014--WL; WDW 11/2013--GF; WDW 1/2010--GF; WDW 7/2004--CR Tower /// DH to WDW several times in the 1970's & 1984; Me DL 1969.
Her Dotness is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2018, 09:51 PM   #12
Cam22
Batman's Gal/Mickey's Pal
PassPorter's Club Passholder


What's this?

PassPorter Guide

Community Rank:
Legend VIP
 
Cam22's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Owensboro, KY USA
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 93,271

Post Thanks / Like
I can totally understand your uncertainty on these changes. for both your aunt and you.
__________________
My PassPorter Bookshelf
My Previous TripsAKL Jambo April/May 2017--SSR/OKW Sept/Oct 2016 --AKL Kidani May 2016 -- Polynesian Village Resort May 2015 -- OKW/Magic December 2014 -- AKL Jambo House October 2014 -- VWL May 2014--SSR October 2013--AKL/Kidani June 2013--CBR October 2012--BWI June 2012--AKV Jambo House/Kidani Village June 2011 -- November 2010 Beach Club -- June 2010 Beach Club -- October 2009 CBR and Gaylord Palms -- June 2009 AKV/Kidani Village -- June 2008 VWL --June 2007 OKW--June 2006 Disney Wonder/SSR -- June 2005 SSR -- June 2004 VWL -- June 2003 AKL -- August 1997 Off Property -- March 1980 Cocoa Beach
Cam22 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2018, 08:24 AM   #13
HiddenMickey
PassPorter's Club Passholder


What's this?

PassPorter Guide

Community Rank:
Legend Extraordinaire
 
HiddenMickey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Chapel Hill, NC USA
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 36,333

Post Thanks / Like
I hope the place she's chosen has a lot of great staff, residents, and a full array of activities. It may be a wonderful change for her. Here's pixies for you and for her during this transition.
__________________


PassPorter Guide for the Staying in Style forum
HiddenMickey is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2018, 01:15 PM   #14
Teresa
Community Rank: Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Indiana , USA
Concierge Level: 7
Posts: 26,327

Post Thanks / Like
Many older people do much better at Assisted living or even just "a home". There are organized social activities and outings, a feeling of safety and community. Instead of thinking of it as your aunt doing something that older folks do, maybe you could think of it as moving to a community of similar people.
__________________
My PassPorter Bookshelf
Teresa is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
OMG--Cricut has a Frozen cartridge!!! Good news & bad news AND discussion of fine cuts with Explore GingerJ The Craft Room: Collecting, Scrapbooking, and more! 16 12-27-2014 08:14 PM
The “Hurt So Good” TR or How You Can Feel Bad and Still Feel Good - UPDATED 10/17 COMPLETE!! Nimros Sharing the Adventure: Disney World Trip Reports 277 10-24-2009 09:03 PM
Got the WORST news about my tooth/abcess - UPDATED GOOD NEWS TinkerBelz The Family Room: Family and Friends 25 06-15-2006 02:56 AM
Great news on my friend with lung cancer! ** 2nd Update 7/13 - Good & Bad News** SarahJ The Family Room: Family and Friends 23 07-13-2004 01:56 PM
Update on my brother~good news, bad news & news news disneyknut The Family Room: Family and Friends 10 04-09-2004 10:15 AM














Please login or register to hide these ads -- it's free and easy!

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:36 PM.

-->

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Feedback Buttons provided by Advanced Post Thanks / Like v3.4.0 Patch Level 1 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
(c) 1998-2017 PassPorter Travel Press/MediaMarx, Inc.
Celebrating 19 Years of Making Dreams Come True
Ad Management plugin by RedTyger