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Old 02-22-2008, 10:13 AM   #1
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Anyone married to a "Disney Downer"?

I just spent a very crummy night because just before going to bed, my DH told me that he doesn't really even want to go to WDW in May, that he thinks he's going to have a terrible time and he's only going to make me happy. He also said that we'd better enjoy our time there because we are never going back. He's said similar things in the past, but last night was particularly awful.

Whenever I mention anything about our trip, he puts it down. He is quite the miser and thinks it's stupid that Disney costs so much (and I have planned such a low-budget, high thrill vacation, you wouldn't believe it!! Any extras that I've added in I've paid for by selling stuff on ebay or consignment or from money I've saved from other things...DD5 and I have been scrimping for months to make this vacation happen.)

Last night, I even suggested that maybe he should just stay home and let us go and have a great time. His reply? "Well that wouldn't really be a family vacation, would it?" He says he's going to go, but to be prepared for him to be miserable, just thinking about how much it all cost. Doesn't *that* sound like fun!

The craziest part of all -- going to WDW was DH's idea! He suggested it because we had some extra money from a housing project and he knew it was something I had been wishing for. And I really don't get it because just last week he said I could look into a Disney cruise for our 10th anniversary next year....but I don't want to if it's going to be this rigmarole all over again!

Does anyone else have a spouse or someone else in their life who just sucks the fun out of your Disney experience? If so, how do you deal with them?
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Old 02-22-2008, 10:27 AM   #2
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My DH doesn't suck the life out of a Disney vacation, but he doesn't enjoy them like I do. So my solution is to go without him! I've been to WDW 8 times, DH has been twice (we stayed at POFQ both times). I've got him joining me for a short WDW trip later this year, and one of his complaints has been that WDW "is always the same thing". Whatever! So I decided to give him a taste of a different resort this time so that he can at least say that something changed.
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Old 02-22-2008, 10:47 AM   #3
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Old 02-22-2008, 10:49 AM   #4
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I haven't turned my DH to the Disney-side but he doesn't suck the life out of vacations either. He plans several
rounds of golf which makes him happy. I do wonder though does your DH act like this when spending any money
or going anywhere else on a trip? Could it just be the money issue with him?

to you and your kids for a happy vacation. If
it was me, I would plan all other Disney vacations without him. Since he can't be happy (just for his kids sake) then
maybe you should just enjoy it for him. Don't stop your kids from having Disney fun just because your DH doesn't
want to.
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Old 02-22-2008, 10:50 AM   #5
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I agree. My DH does not like Disney. He does not put it down just not his cup of tea. My DS and I go almost every year. Everyone is happy and we have a great time.
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Old 02-22-2008, 10:52 AM   #6
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My Dh is a little downer -- not so much as yours. He thinks I spend too much time on these boards and planning things. I told him for this trip, I wouldn't "plan" anything, only get some ADR's so we'd have something to eat. So when he saw my notes about park hours and stuff he went a little nuts. Just once, I wish he'd get a little excited and ask where we were going to eat, or have some kind of input.

I sympathize with you!!
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Old 02-22-2008, 10:57 AM   #7
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Old 02-22-2008, 11:10 AM   #8
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My ex was like that and I divorced him. (but not just strictly on Disney, mind you)

Seriously-I don't even count the one trip he took with us because it was that miserable. No park hoppers, two hours in each park a day, and four days. That was it. When the kids and I returned we were like kids in a candy store-more than once they both said to me "mom, this is how Disney should be done!".

I'd take the kids and go by yourself-I just don't get how he could say something to you like that, then in the next sentence tell you he's going no matter what! Is he on a mission to destroy everyone's fun?
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Old 02-22-2008, 11:15 AM   #9
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My DH is not a downer when it comes to Disney..he just prefers it in moderation. I am surprised I am getting two trips to Disney with him this to DL and one to WDW. I'll take what I can get and then plan other trips on my own with my mom or friends. He's more than content with that.

I hope that he comes around and begins to look forward to the trip and enojy it while he is there.

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Old 02-22-2008, 11:23 AM   #10
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Sorry to hear that, I got lucky. He likes to go as much as I do. I'll never get a solo trip! Does he complain about other vacations? I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Maybe you could just ask him to suck it up for the kids??? Ask him if you can just do Disney every few years for the kids??


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Old 02-22-2008, 11:24 AM   #11
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Fortunately, no. DW loves Disney as much as I do
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Old 02-22-2008, 11:49 AM   #12
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Could you find something that perhaps he would enjoy doing there - even if it is alone? Maybe fishing, hanging out at the pool, a Segway tour (or other tour), etc. are some ideas. If it's something that would require an additional fee maybe you could spring for it since it would help your trip to be more enjoyable, too. Sometimes I think we just assume everyone in the family likes and wants to all do the same thing at WDW and all together which isn' the case in all families. I'd really try to find that one little thing that he'd enjoy and maybe even start looking forward to doing and that may put some 'value' back into the trip for him.
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Old 02-22-2008, 11:50 AM   #13
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I'm wondering if he's worried about something else that he hasn't told you about and is taking it out on your vacation plans.

Ask him what he'd like to do on your trip that would make it more enjoyable to him. Plan to split up some if necessary. I'm sending you lots of Pixies....

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Old 02-22-2008, 12:23 PM   #14
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Yep, our DH's are like two peas in a pod. He says it's horrible there, he never wants to go back again, it costs too much, blah blah blah.... He puts it down too, not as much as he used to though. I think he finally understands that I love it and the kids love it and we're going to vacation there frequently whether he likes it or not. And he does not like it! He complains in the months leading up to it, complains about the cost of everything, complains to anyone who will listen. Even goes so far as to warn people not to go there or you could get sucked in like I am. (loser) Eventually I tell him to just grow up and shut up! I told him that he's an adult and I've got 3 kids to keep happy so I shouldn't have to keep him happy too. I always try to schedule some golf time for him, or just some alone and away time for him. He's been there once sans kids, and twice now with our kids. And we're going back in September. To him, that's enough visits for an entire lifetime, and then some. I don't think he'll ever look forward to it or understand why I like it, but he's starting to get the idea of just letting me be happy with it. Hopefully your DH can find a happy medium as well and just leave you be and stop complaining about it!!!!
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Old 02-22-2008, 12:30 PM   #15
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My dad was like that leading up to WDW - not *quite* as negative though - saying how if *he'd* gotten to pick the location for the family vacation he'd have gone somewhere else

he'd been to DLR before, and he'd been to a couple of the WDW parks. He'd seen more than enough and that it was overrated.

This Christmas he told everyone he wants to go back, that it was so relaxing (the selling point for him? DME LOL) and he loved how they pampered you.

so let him be a buttmunch for a few more months and then watch him eat his words (But don't remind him of his being a buttmunch!!! men don't like that lol)
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