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Started Physical Therapy yesterday for my arm. I've been trying to stay up beat and positive through out this whole "ordeal", and I admit, I've had my moments. Over all PT went well. The end was pretty horrible as my arm seized up and the pain was excrutiating! As always, it subsided, but it brought me to tears. I've dealt with lots of pain over the years, so when it gets to the point of "tears" you know it's beyond bad! I just keep breathing and repeating my mantra "this too shall pass."
I think the hardest thing was the therapist asking me if I was looking forward to going back to work. Honestly: : I haven't told anyone this, but I really feel like I need to share. I have had nightmares since right after the surgery about work. The first was the night after I got home. I had to "call out" because they were expecting me to come in and they were mad at me because I refused to come in. They have been getting worse. The other night I was at work and my arm got ripped right off my body!! The union stuff and human resource stuff has been coming in, and I'm just starting the 'rehab' part of healing and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm trying to hold it all together, but being the main bread winner and the carrier of benefits in my family is stressful. I'm tired and I'm sick of the stress of this whole thing.
I'm doing okay over all, but I just want the stress to go away!! Thanks for letting me vent! You guys have been a great support!
I feel so bad for you! I had the shoulder surgery and PT as well, but I can't imagine going through all that and preparing to return to a very physical job. My job was very sedentary and I'm only responsible for myself-- didn't have to worry about supporting a family. I will say that the whole surgery and PT experience was much more difficult and painful than I was led to expect. I'm not a pain wimp, either, but the shoulder pain right after surgery and during rehab brought me to tears as well. There were long periods when I felt like I wasn't making any progress and would never have a usable arm again. It was a long haul, but I did come out ok in the end and have had no more problems. I didn't have to deal with job issues while recouperating, but my injury was caused by a mammography technician, so I had to deal with getting my HMO to pick up the bills. Wishing you all kinds of luck and fortitude to make it!
so sorry you have to go through all of this.....I know how you feel with the PT...I was in tears all the time during and after the sessions. My left shoulder will never move smoothly....I'll never be a ballerina when I grow-up . I didn't have surgery because it wasn't the prominent side but the break was bad enough to be out of work for 4 months. How much PT did they give you ?? When you do go back to work...can you do "light" nursing work ( if there is such a thing)?
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I hope that the PT for your shoulder gets less painful as time goes on. I feel for you. I know what you mean about the work nightmares though. I was out on medical leave for a month. I had some very bad work night mares a few times. I think your mind is trying to work out the things that you fear and worry about in real life about your job. Try to take it easy on yourself.
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