Caregiver Burnout About This Page:

[LisaJ]

I know this is not exactly "Vacationing Your Way", but thought I would ask you guys how you keep going sometimes. I feel like I have no right to complain when I see what others have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

My husband has been ill for about 3 1/2 years now (neurological illness of unknown etiology), and sometimes I just think I can't go on another day. I know that some of you have children and other loved ones that you care for, some around the clock.

I'm trying to plan a vacation for myself and my daughter at the end of August, but I wonder how I'll ever make it til then. It has been 5 long years since any kind of vacation, 12 years since my last WDW vacation, and the last 3 1/2 years of being a caregiver (only with a little help from friends and family).

Is there anything that you do that rejuvenates you and makes you smile again? Maybe I'm just fried, but I'm not sure I'll even get a break come August (although I'm doing everything in my power to make it happen)

[stonewall]

This is for you,Lisa I know it's hard, because I find it wearing to deal with myself, and see how my loved ones react. It always helps me and the kids to plan a WDW trip. Our next one is a year off, but just knowing that we are going to go gives us something to look forward to. Your question is a good one, and I'm glad that you posted it here. You can always feel free to PM or e-mail me if you want to vent or talk-OK? Take good care of yourself...

[Suzan]

Lisa,
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time of it. We all go through it from time to time. My husband and I care for three autistic boys (11, 15, 19), they live in our home (like foster care). I am the primary caregiver, but my husband is here for support when I need him. I am sure it is much harder for you, as hubby is the one you are caring for. I also find health care issues more stessful than the behavioral challenges I deal with.
My mother lives about 5 hours from me, but about once a month, we meet in a town half-way between. We always have brunch at Cracker Barrel and then go hang in the mall for the whole day. We shop, sit and chat, and always visit the Disney Store! My parents are going with us in June on our land and sea vacation, so we make plans and buy clothes for the trip. We finish the day with dinner in a nice restraunt and I make sure I never get home before the boys are in bed for the night. I always feel like I have had a mini-vacation.
Is there anyone who could take your place for a day? Maybe you could spend the day with your daughter or a friend. When I am at the end of my rope, and a real escape is impossible, I try mental escapes, like this board, or a book, or calling a friend.
I have also joined Curves, and I make sure I get to go work out 2 or 3 times a week. I have found the physical activity lowers my stess and I feel like I am doing something just for me.
Hopefully, the worst of the winter weather is past us, and some bright sunny days will cheer us all. I will pray for you and for your husband, and that the vacation in August goes as planned. Hang in there!

[Smiley]

I am sorry that you are having a hard time and I wish you and your family the best...

I am glad that you are planning a vacation and hope that it is fabulous!

If you can, try and make it a long vacation, like 2 weeks and take some days off so that you will go home feeling refreshed.

Take care.
Dee.

[LisaJ]

I spoke to my husband about it. He is just very scared to be left without me because I understand his situation so well. But I told him I HAVE to do this and he would be left in very capable hands (his father). I'm planning on two weeks, which seems like a lifetime to me and him, but I just know it will make all the difference in the world! I would come back SO REJUVINATED!! I just know it.

Thanks for the "group hug".

[Teddysmom]

Lisa,

I am a caregiver for my Mom who has emphysema and COPD and my son who has a nuerological illness also of unknown etiology as well. I know how exhausting it can be doing that and neither of them are my partner so I can't imagine what that adds to your situation. I too think it is critical to manage time away from your responsibilities. I took a trip to WDW for the first time without either my Mom or my son in December. It was amazing how relaxed I felt when I returned. I think it will be great for your daughter too. I am sure your DH is nervous because you have done such a great job caring for him that he relies on you. But for you to continue doing that you need to rejuvinate yourself. And as you've said you have made great plans for an alternate caregiver while you will be gone. Your vacation plans sound perfect.

I agree with notion of mental escapes when you cant get the physical ones. I also surf these boards, take a nice hot bath(and splurge on some good bath soaps if you can), read, or just look at photos of other times I've gotten away and remember the feeling. It is physicaly,emotionally and spiritually draining at times to be a caregiver. I find even little things like making sure I get enough time to polish my toes or keep up my hair even make a big difference for me. Please do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself and your daughter. It is important to keeping you focused on all you have to do each day. Being a caregiver is a truly awesome responsibility and it is easy to get tired of it. Don't feel guilty!!! I wish you the best with everything and please also feel free to PM me if you need to talk. I am glad you posted this here. It is definitely the right place!